Am I A Stingy-gut?

[Bijou]

Am I stingy, or what?  I attended my first art class last week and it was fun, especially on the second day when we actually got to do something in class.  However....
I came prepared for class with the required pencils, pens, paper, etc.  There were three other students who did not bother to bring in what was needed.  Did they ask the instructor for the materials they needed?  Nope.  They asked me.  One of them borrowed a pencil (no, I didn't get it back-turns out he was in the Art lab that was meeting next door and I never saw him again) and two others borrowed some paper.  This is not copier or typing paper.  This is the expensive paper required by the instructor.  So, I told my husband about how people were borrowing from my materials.  I said maybe they couldn't afford to get the stuff they needed.  He laughed and said,  "A pencil?  Who couldn't bring in a pencil?  They just didn't bother to come prepared!"  I was afraid to look in the mirror for fear I would have a big round globe of hard candy for a head and a stick for a body.  To tell the truth I was not happy with their asking me to provide their materials, but I have grandkids who are about their age (late teens, early 20's) and think about how I would appreciate someone helping them out (I'm a sucker for kids, I guess).
So, my solution comes from my husband.  He suggested I bring in copier paper in case someone asks again.  I thought that was a good idea.  But pencils?  Suddenly I don't have any extras..."I'm sure the instructor can help you." 

[Twik]

Would you really want people teaching your grandkids that they don't have to worry about providing for their own needs, because anything you want can be obtained as a permanent loan on request?

They have to learn to bring their own stuff. Maybe on the first day, they might not be organized, but for next class, if they say they don't have paper, tell them to ask the instructor. Even better, when you see them next class, ask them for your "loans" to be repaid.

[Virg]

I'm with Twik.  For one event, I'd let it go, since anyone can be forgiven a single lapse.  If they ask again, suggest that they ask the instructor.  You're not required to be the class quartermaster.

Virg

[HogwartsAlum]

I think your husband's suggestion and your answer "Suddenly I don't have any extras..."I'm sure the instructor can help you."  is right on.  You are not obligated to provide materials for these people.  It was nice of you to loan a pencil though.  But I wouldn't do it again.  If they get a penalty from the instructor for not being prepared, too bad.  Maybe they'll learn something from that.

[Chartreuse]

Oh, man.  The cost of art supplies does add up incredibly quickly as well.  It's not like just plain old office supplies, either.

You could also try the method of one of my favorite teachers:
"Can I have a pencil?"
"Yup, you can have one if you give me a quarter."

It makes sense to me?  If they want to buy supplies off you, that's great.  If they want to sponge, they need to find somebody else.

[IndianInlaw]

Substitute "bumming" for "borrowing".  They bummed materials off you.

That stuff is most likely available in the campus bookstore.  They can use their financial aid package to buy it.  If they don't have financial aid, they most likely can afford their own.

I LOVE what Virg says about asking the instructor.  It gives you an out and I'm sure they won't dare take you up on it.

[Ki]

You shouldn't have to provide anything for anyone - you've got yourself covered.  It's very nice of you to lend an item or two on occasion.  However, it's not your responsibility, it's the unprepared student's. 

I've certainly borrowed pens/pencils/notebook paper on occasion when I forgot mine or I had run out of ink/lead.  I've also lent them out quite a bit.  I try to be cognizant that the pens/pencils I've been lent are for one class only, and return it at the end of the class, unchewed. 

I have a habit, almost broken, of chewing on writing utensils.  This is definitely better than my old habit of chewing on cords when I was a kid.  But I don't do it to other people's pens and pencils - that's just gross.  I also try to lend out ones that I haven't chewed, when I do lend them.  I've gotten pens and pencils back from lendees that had new tooth marks on them.  Ugh!

[IndianInlaw]

Chartreuse, when my sister was in junior high school orchestra, she would let her friends have, at cost, clarinet reeds.

Never mind at the time, these were only available in a music store downtown in a shady area.  Guess who had to go down to get them? (I went to high school nearby)

She could at least have made a profit.

[behindbj]

When I was student teaching, I had 8th graders.  When someone didn't have something, I had them ask one of their classmates if they could borrow whatever it was.

I went to a faculty meeting and the principal told the teachers that when a student came in without something and needed it, to just give it to them.  Don't make them ask their peers.

Um - no.  While I did help out students that I knew needed help due to financial issues, there is nothing wrong with having peers help each other out.  And that it's not shameful to ask someone else for something (I occasionally "forgot" something and asked a student if I may borrow it to show them the same thing.  Of course, I also sported the school uniform - blue bottoms and white shirt - to show that wearing the uniform was not a punishment but something that helped unite all of us.  Made it easier to get dressed in the morning, too...).

The kids always came through for each other - and they learned both to share and to take care of things that people let them use.  Of course, those that never returned things or were always "forgetting" eventually learned that there is a limit to the good graces of others...

That being said - the OP is not the font of all supplies.  There is a point at which I refuse to loan things, as well.  In undertand not having something once, but twice in a row is a trend.

behindbj

[Sharnita]

I might bring a couple of golf pencils. That's what I do in my classroom. If it is a real "emergency" my students take the golf pencils. If not, they look at the golf pencil with disdain. Everyone has a moment now and again where a little help is appreciated. A golf pencil and copy paper might fit the bill as "a little help".

[Chocolate Cake]

It helps to keep some perspective on this situation.   It's not as though these students are dangling over the edge of a bridge about to plummet to their deaths and you are denying them a hand up.

It's only paper and pencils.   When you say "no", it won't damage them or their grade beyond all repair.   

Instead, it will very efficiently and effectively help them remember to come prepared.  Depending on the amount of internal pain/discomfort they experience by living through the class empty handed, you will not only help them remember to be prepared in this class, but the lesson they learn could very well apply to other areas of their lives (other classes, jobs, etc.) 

You are ultimately doing them a huge favor by not providing anything that they should be providing themselves.
So, next time, say "No" with a smile knowing that you are actually helping them grow up by doing so.

[Chartreuse]

Chartreuse, when my sister was in junior high school orchestra, she would let her friends have, at cost, clarinet reeds.

Never mind at the time, these were only available in a music store downtown in a shady area.  Guess who had to go down to get them? (I went to high school nearby)

She could at least have made a profit.

Hehehehehe, at the least, she should have made a slight profit and paid you for your efforts to get the reeds for her.   

[IndianInlaw]

I think she even kept the money, although she saw herself as helping her friends. 

They were 35 cents a package in those days

[ZipTheWonder]

I'm still stuck back on the part where someone who has (apparently?) been admitted to a college course does not realize he should bring a writing instrument to a class, much less a pencil and paper to an art class.  I would probably lend it (once), but I'd be hard-pressed, very hard-pressed, to contain my amusement. 

I would be less bothered if your classmate was well into creating a painting and suddenly realized he'd left his burnt sienna at home, and you lent him a squeeze or two.  But, a pencil?  Please.  Hasn't he been bringing pencils to school for nearly 15 years??

[Tabris]

If you lend something out in the future, keep the person's driver's license as collateral.

If they get angry, you'll know they had no intention of returning the item in the first place.