Am I A Stingy-gut?

[Bijou]

Would you really want people teaching your grandkids that they don't have to worry about providing for their own needs, because anything you want can be obtained as a permanent loan on request?

They have to learn to bring their own stuff. Maybe on the first day, they might not be organized, but for next class, if they say they don't have paper, tell them to ask the instructor. Even better, when you see them next class, ask them for your "loans" to be repaid.

I sure wouldn't want someone teaching my grandkids bad habits.  I didn't think of it in that way, probably because my grandkids already have that sense of responsibility in place.
The situation I am talking about did occcur on the second say of class which was only two days after the day we were given a materials list.   I won't ask to be repaid, but I will send them on to the instructor.

[Bijou]

I think your husband's suggestion and your answer "Suddenly I don't have any extras..."I'm sure the instructor can help you."  is right on.  You are not obligated to provide materials for these people.  It was nice of you to loan a pencil though.  But I wouldn't do it again.  If they get a penalty from the instructor for not being prepared, too bad.  Maybe they'll learn something from that.

I think those are good ideas, too. 

[Bijou]

I'm with Twik.  For one event, I'd let it go, since anyone can be forgiven a single lapse.  If they ask again, suggest that they ask the instructor.  You're not required to be the class quartermaster.

Virg

That's what I am going to do.

[Bijou]

Oh, man.  The cost of art supplies does add up incredibly quickly as well.  It's not like just plain old office supplies, either.

You could also try the method of one of my favorite teachers:
"Can I have a pencil?"
"Yup, you can have one if you give me a quarter."

It makes sense to me?  If they want to buy supplies off you, that's great.  If they want to sponge, they need to find somebody else.

Does it ever add up!  I cannot believe it.  I guess that is what put me off about the borrowing...I had just spent waaaayyyyy too much on supplies.

[Bijou]

Substitute "bumming" for "borrowing".  They bummed materials off you.

That stuff is most likely available in the campus bookstore.  They can use their financial aid package to buy it.  If they don't have financial aid, they most likely can afford their own.

I LOVE what Virg says about asking the instructor.  It gives you an out and I'm sure they won't dare take you up on it.

Unfortunately, this is a branch campus and is small.  They don't have much in the library beyond books.   It would be nice if the instructor had a few supplies on hand and made it clear to the students that if they need help in getting through an assignment materials wise, but that probably gets really old if you are a teacher.

[Bijou]

You shouldn't have to provide anything for anyone - you've got yourself covered.  It's very nice of you to lend an item or two on occasion.  However, it's not your responsibility, it's the unprepared student's. 

I've certainly borrowed pens/pencils/notebook paper on occasion when I forgot mine or I had run out of ink/lead.  I've also lent them out quite a bit.  I try to be cognizant that the pens/pencils I've been lent are for one class only, and return it at the end of the class, unchewed. 

I have a habit, almost broken, of chewing on writing utensils.  This is definitely better than my old habit of chewing on cords when I was a kid.  But I don't do it to other people's pens and pencils - that's just gross.  I also try to lend out ones that I haven't chewed, when I do lend them.  I've gotten pens and pencils back from lendees that had new tooth marks on them.  Ugh!

New marks?  In additons to your own?  That is unbelievable!  You're lucky to be here if you were a cord chewer! I remember a puppy of ours chewing on the sewing machine cord.  I can't remember if she got zapped or what, but that seems the only time she ever did it, so maybe she learned a lesson.

[Bijou]

Chartreuse, when my sister was in junior high school orchestra, she would let her friends have, at cost, clarinet reeds.

Never mind at the time, these were only available in a music store downtown in a shady area.  Guess who had to go down to get them? (I went to high school nearby)

She could at least have made a profit.

You should have gotten a cut of the proceeds!

[freakyfemme]

Oh, I hate that too, especially when people want to borrow a CHARCOAL pencil from me.  Those things are about three dollars apiece, but the good thing about them is, you don't end up with charcoal all over your hands after you're finished drawing.....that is, the person who PURCHASED the charcoal pencils shouldn't end up with charcoal on her hands.  Those who didn't, well......too bad.

[Bijou]

When I was student teaching, I had 8th graders.  When someone didn't have something, I had them ask one of their classmates if they could borrow whatever it was.

I went to a faculty meeting and the principal told the teachers that when a student came in without something and needed it, to just give it to them.  Don't make them ask their peers.

Um - no.  While I did help out students that I knew needed help due to financial issues, there is nothing wrong with having peers help each other out.  And that it's not shameful to ask someone else for something (I occasionally "forgot" something and asked a student if I may borrow it to show them the same thing.  Of course, I also sported the school uniform - blue bottoms and white shirt - to show that wearing the uniform was not a punishment but something that helped unite all of us.  Made it easier to get dressed in the morning, too...).

The kids always came through for each other - and they learned both to share and to take care of things that people let them use.  Of course, those that never returned things or were always "forgetting" eventually learned that there is a limit to the good graces of others...

That being said - the OP is not the font of all supplies.  There is a point at which I refuse to loan things, as well.  In undertand not having something once, but twice in a row is a trend.

behindbj

I agree with you.  It's not the original borrowing, but the trend (which I know can develop very easily).  In the words of my Hero Barney Fife, I wanted to 'nip it in the bud".

[Bijou]

I might bring a couple of golf pencils. That's what I do in my classroom. If it is a real "emergency" my students take the golf pencils. If not, they look at the golf pencil with disdain. Everyone has a moment now and again where a little help is appreciated. A golf pencil and copy paper might fit the bill as "a little help".

Is a golf pencil one of those little stubs with no eraser? 

[Bijou]

It helps to keep some perspective on this situation.   It's not as though these students are dangling over the edge of a bridge about to plummet to their deaths and you are denying them a hand up.

It's only paper and pencils.   When you say "no", it won't damage them or their grade beyond all repair.   

Instead, it will very efficiently and effectively help them remember to come prepared.  Depending on the amount of internal pain/discomfort they experience by living through the class empty handed, you will not only help them remember to be prepared in this class, but the lesson they learn could very well apply to other areas of their lives (other classes, jobs, etc.) 

You are ultimately doing them a huge favor by not providing anything that they should be providing themselves.
So, next time, say "No" with a smile knowing that you are actually helping them grow up by doing so.

And maybe refusing would send them to the instructor, who can influence them even further. 

[Bijou]

If you lend something out in the future, keep the person's driver's license as collateral.

If they get angry, you'll know they had no intention of returning the item in the first place.

What if they don't have a driver's license?  I could have them sign an agreement that begins, "Dear Judge Judy:  I solumly swear to return this pencil to Jeanius at the end of class today and if I don't I will appear in your court of law and..."  (Do you think I watch too much TV?)  :  )

[Tabris]

Then take their student ID or their wallet. Make it worth their while to bring back your pencil or whatever. Keep their winter coat as collateral. :-)

[housewife2k]

My mom went back to college in her mid-thirties. In one class, she always had someone asking her for a pencil/pen/notebook paper. For a while she kept some cheapo pens and a legal pad in her bag for just these cases, until the instructor pulled her aside and let her know that even though itwas great that she was helping out the other, younger, students- a full TEN PERCENT of their grade depended on coming prepared to class. This was  a business class, and being unprepared for a business meeting/interview/job hurt you in the real world, the instructor was trying to show that. She wanted the students to have to go to her if they were unprepared, so she would know. Granted, if it were a case of pens/pencils breaking, she would not count it against you.

I would ask the instructor of your art class if it is OK to lend someone a supply, if you plan on doing it any more, or if being unprepared could hurt their grade.

[Alida]

You're not being stingy, you'll be teaching them the value of being prepared!