What Do I Do?

[jais]

Christmas will be odd this year.

My mom's family is celebrating in hometown on the 29th this year.

DF's family is celebrating on the 29th or 30th as they are all in Chicago for a wedding. Well, minus their kids because it was an adults only wedding.  The kids will get gifts when the parents get home.

DF and I are not travelling for the wedding.

My sister is on me as my father's family is celebrating in hometown on the 25th.  DF's parents want us to come for dinner on the 25th and for church.

My issue:

I can't see traveling to hometown twice in 4 days.  It's just not in our budge.  Part of me wants to go as DF is Catholic and they expect me to go to church with them and twiddle my thumbs during the truly Catholic stuff.

Is it wrong to just want to be with DF on Christmas?  I really don't care if we eat at a Chinese buffet, I just want it to be US!

[HermioneGranger]

Nope.  My husband and I had Thanksgiving by ourselves this year, as we hadn't spent a holiday alone in the two years we've been married.  Stay in your PJs all day and call out for Chinese, so long as you can relax and enjoy the day.   

[jimithing]

Nope.  My husband and I had Thanksgiving by ourselves this year, as we hadn't spent a holiday alone in the two years we've been married.  Stay in your PJs all day and call out for Chinese, so long as you can relax and enjoy the day.   

ITA.  DH and I had Thanksgiving to ourselves, and we are going to be alone on Christmas too.  I love it!

[waterwren]

Not rude at all. Actually a holiday alone sounds luxurious

[hobish]

Heck no, that's not wrong! Even if it is just the two fo you, the two of you are a family, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to spend it together.

...and i agree, it sounds luxurious - no stress, no mess, no hustle, no hassle ...

[Esther_bunny]

Put me in the "not rude" category. BF said he wanted to spend Christmas at home next year and I almost wept with joy. Every year we travel a couple hundred miles north and have to visit 4 sets of parents. It does get tiring and there is not a thing wrong with wanting to stay home.

[veraobsession]

Just be prepared to deal with some unhappiness from both families if you dont go. I can see it now...your family gets upset because you arent coming home and they blame it on DF (kepping our princess from coming home when you KNOW she really wants to. Then his mom gets mad because you arent letting her baby boy come home. Fighting ensues, name calling commenses, general  e-hell post worthy events are happening all around you! Pretty soon both sides are informing you that since you didnt come home for Christmas, they arent coming to your wedding. After some of these posts I have seen on here, I really wouldnt be surprised.  You guys need to do what makes you happy, but do be prepared to meet some resistance from the families, especially if coming home is something you have always done.

[Uf]

I think there comes a time, when you don't want to travel everywhere else for christmas and you just want to spend it at home... ALONE.
you and your DF are a family unit now, and I think its perfectly reasonable to want to spend christmas with just the 2 of you.

[MsEva]

What does your DF want to do?

[kathrynne]

If not travelling to one hometown or the other for Christmas and/or Thanksgiving is rude, then DH and I have been rude for 13 years, ruder for six, and will be at least that rude into perpetuity. We travelled to see DH's family for one Thanksgiving early in the relationship and have avoided holiday travel ever since then. When we moved far from my hometown we warned my family straight away that Thanksgiving and Christmas were two times of year we refused to travel. The stress and stuff just isn't worth it.

We love our relaxing holidays with just us and the critters. Get up when we want. Go to bed when we want. Eat what and when we want. If we feel like fixing SOS instead of some huge meal and enjoying peace and quiet instead of the whole famn-damily yelling at the top of their voices to be heard, we're good.

We call DH's family members (the ones who are speaking to us) and have my family call at a time that's convenient. The phone gets passed around and we all get to babble until my hands are numb and ears are cauliflower. We've suggested a webcam, but that hasn't yet been implemented.

Do what works for you and DH. If that means the family tries to guilt-trip you, they'll get over it.

[jais]

What does your DF want to do?

He wants to go to his parents and go to church so his mom will stop riding him about it.