Extreme financial generosity

[Chartreuse]

Okay, I admit this is one of those etiquette questions that I wish came up more often. 

A relative has been extremely generous and given us a VERY nice financial gift.  We are feeling like sending a thank you card and note isn't nearly enough of a proper thank you for said gift.  What's the general etiquette on this, and what kinds of thank yous would you suggest?

[twinkletoes]

After sending the thank you note, maybe you could follow up with a phone call and offer to have them over for dinner (if this is feasible, of course).  Or maybe you could have flowers delivered to this person if they live far away.  I agree, though, that just a thank you note for an unexpected and very generous monetary gift doesn't seem like "enough."

[Bob Ducca]

I would stick with the thank-you card.  If feasible, you might have them over for dinner, or take them out, but they are giving what they want to give, and an overly extravagant thank-you "gesture" may end up just embarassing them (other people hear, and think, "Who do they think they are?" or something like that) but a sincere acknowledgement of gratitude is always correct.  I like the flower idea too, twinkletoes.

Would you tone down the thank-yous for presents you thought "small?"  In that spirit, I would say to acknowledge the generosity of the gift sincerely, but don't go overboard.

[Rose2Bear]

Ditto to twinketoes, a dinner would be a very kind gesture if they live close enough. Other wise something like flowers or a nice box of candy or a fruit basket would be great.  But I wouldn't go super duper extreme in the gift - you don't want them to think you spent their whole gift on them!

[Sharnita]

Flowers cost money and I don't know that if I gave someone a financial gift I'd want to just see soem of it come back to me in a flower arrangement 

A letter as opposed to a card might be nice. A phone call, a visit, something like that.

[SunkissableOne]

I totally agree with Sharnita!  I'd send a nice letter and invite them over for dinner or something. 

[Bob Ducca]

Flowers cost money and I don't know that if I gave someone a financial gift I'd want to just see soem of it come back to me in a flower arrangement 

A letter as opposed to a card might be nice. A phone call, a visit, something like that.

Sorry- I should have clarified, I send home-grown flowers and plants as "thank you" gifts all the time.  I think that Sharnita is right- you shouldn't look as though you spent their gift on thanking them for their gift.

[nutraxfornerves]

I think dinner is a great idea, but if they live far away, that's a problem. If there is something tangible and appropriate that you used the gift for, invite them to see it or send a photo. This may not be possible ("Uncle Rich, we'd like to invite you over to see our paid-off credit card bill.") But if you have bought a house or a car or a beautiful pice of art, you could invite them for that. "Uncle Rich, your generous gift let us get rid of that unsafe clunker and buy a decent car. We'd like to invite you and Aunt Charity to a picnic in Beautiful Mountain Park next weekend--we're driving, of course!" or "We'd like you to be our first guests in our new home." or "Dear Uncle Rich, your extremely generous gift enabled us to buy this very special painting by Toulouse Da Vinci. Here's a picture of it hanging over our sofa and we think of you each time we see it." or "Dear Uncle Rich. Thanks to your generous gift, we are taking the honeymoon we never had. This postcard shows the lovely beach. We just had to let you know again how much this means to us."

If you invested the money and you think the relatives would get a kick out of it, you could send them a cute piggy bank.

I said "appropriate" because it's important that the givers don't think you wasted their generous gift. If they know you have college loans to pay off, I wouldn't send that postcard from the Riviera.

[twinkletoes]

"If they know you have college loans to pay off, I wouldn't send that postcard from the Riviera."

Agreed!  To springboard off your thought, I also think if they gave you the money and specifically said "use it to buy your first home/pay off your student loans/take a nice trip," don't tell them that thanks to their gift, you now have Coach's entire spring line.

[Verruca]

I agree with you that a thank you card isn't enough - that's why I agree with Sharnita that a thank you letter is the way to go.    Actually, I would call immediately, and also send a thank you letter.

I wouldn't give them any sort of thank you gift unless it was something handmade - a knit afghan, for instance, or a care package of homemade cookies or brownies, something like that.  The amount of thought and time and effort that sort of gift requires would be a lovely thank you.

[Alida]

A nice thank you, both card and verbal, would be good.  Dinner at your home would also be a very nice gesture on your part. 

[Chartreuse]

Thanks guys.  I can't exactly invite them to dinner (which is unfortunate), as we live 2000 miles apart.  But, I can definitely send a nice letter, some nice photos (we plan to use the gift towards a major home improvement project as well as preparing for the birth of our little girl), etc.  I'm sure they'd be thrilled to know how much they helped us get a very nice nursery set up.