Sounds like you need to whip out a clue X 4 and have a "come to Deity of your choice" meeting with your DH. I'm very curious as to why he's not telling you, well, anything. It seems the only way you're learing this is from other people or after your DH as agreed to it, without talking to you about it.
Oh hecks no. That would NOT happen in my house. Occasionally, one of us will make plans or agree to something and have it slip our mind before talking to the other, but then there is quite a bit of irritation and apologizing afterward. His sounds intentional.
The fantasy/evil me would tell him that the next time he agrees/plans something without telling me first, it will not happen. People coming over for Christmas, nope, see you next year. Others coming in and cooking in MY kitchen without consulting me? %^*( *^$%$ & ^#$%^...
I would tell him that his actions are telling me he does not respect me or my place in my own home. That if he cannot respect me, then he cannot love me, and then perhaps we need to reevaluate our relationship. I would remind him of our wedding vows and ask when exactly did he stand in front of God and everyone and promise to love, honor, and cherish his siblings.