S/O Christmas Disappointment How long before you give up asking for something?

[amanda_tlg]

Unless I am asked, I never hint or tell people what I would like for Christmas. However, for about 5+ years, I have had 3 items that I would really like. And every year, when asked, I tell the asker that one of those items would be lovely. These are not expensive, in the $10-30 range at the very most. And even though I would really like them, for some reason I have just never gone out and purchased them for myself. Other than things for my office or clothes, I don't really buy anything for myself.

These are the askers, and what they buy me instead of what I would like to receive
My parents: Usually give nice knick knacks or trinkets, or sometimes kitchen gadgets. I don't display what-nots, because A) I don't really have the space, and B) I have a very active toddler.
Husband: Picks out decent, mid-range priced jewelry (think $50ish). It's all nice, but not always to my tastes. And I can only wear so many rings or earrings. we don't go out to a lot of places that I can wear these peices.
Brother: Buys me video games that are also not my tastes (imagine Halo-type games) that he wants to play with me online

These people ALWAYS ask what I would like, and I still never get it. I know there is no way to politely say "Buy me THIS, and only THIS please." So after the holidays, I'm going to go out and start buying these much-coveted things for myself, because no amount of hinting & urging seems to get it across. This sort of falls into the "Christmas Dissapointment" category, because I have had to fake too many cheery gift openings.

Does anyone else have this problem, or am I just strange? Not just getting off-the-mark gifts, but NEVER getting the things you want??

[lindamay]

I went 4 years asking for only one, very inexpensive, everyday item... a flour sifter.
I had a husband and 3 kids shopping for me and gave the kids the easy and cheap one...nada.

I got duck statues
slippers
tea towels
more slippers
another duck statue
more tea towels
and never, ever did I get the sifter, so finally I went and bought it myself

I got 2 for Christmas last year

This year it is aprons, so far I know my daughters have each bought me one (because they are little and need my money$)

*my son is the one with the statue fetish, I have the oddest collection of animal statues, all lined up on my dresser, weird, but cute to "see" what he thinks I like (apparently ducks)

[quiet_dreamer]

I usually get close to what I asked for, without it being what I asked for. My family are experts at the "close but not quite" gifts. I usually just save some money and go and get the things that I wanted during boxing week...

[unicornbee]

We go with lists mostly because we are at a point where we buy our own stuff. So a list says "I promise not to buy this in case you do."

[LadyClaire]

My family is pretty good at gift giving. I don't really ask for anything, unless they specifically ask me what I want, and usually DF is the only one who does that.

I know my sister got me a pair of shoes I've been dying for, because she let so many hints slip that it wasn't hard to figure out. Then when Mom told her that I figured it out, she said "what? how?? who told her?!" 

The only thing I have ever specifically asked for that wasn't something like a book was a necklace that I saw and loved. Ok, I didn't ask..I just strongly hinted to DF that I liked that necklace and that it would make a good christmas gift.

The day after I hinted, I happened to go to that store with my mother, and the necklace was gone. I got all excited, thinking DF had bought it for me.

Nope. Someone probably got that necklace for christmas, but it wasn't me. *sighs* Now if I want a piece of jewelry, I just buy it for myself.

[amanda_tlg]

The problem, is whenever I do finally leap and buy something for myself, I always hear: "I didn't know you wanted that! I could've gotten it for you." or "Awww...I was gonna get you that for bday/xmas"

Case in point for this year: I have a papasan chair that I practically live in. Unfortunately, so do the boys. Well, during a bout of the flu, the cushion was completely ruined. So I hinted to everyone how I would like a new cushion, maybe in blue or green. My parents said that since DH knew I wanted it so much, he'd probably get it for me. Dh said that since my parents knew I wanted it so much, they'd probably get it for me. And the cushion is a new thing, it's not even one of the 'coveted three.' I have a feeling Christmas will come and go with no new cushion, since each thinks the other is getting it for me. 

[MurPl1]

I went shopping with my mom a couple weekends ago and while we were out, was trying to give her hints of what she could get me.  Meantime, she's looking at stuff and making comments and I'm thinking "great, she'd like xxx"  But I think she had every intention of buying these things for herself.  So hard!

I did have one year where I broke down and bought what I wanted for myself.  DH has a few pairs of "fuzzy pants" - fleece lined jeans.  The first few we got from Eddie Bauer but they hadn't offered women's jeans like that.  So one year they were in the catalog with the cutest pink plaid flannel lining.  So I left the catalog out, marked etc.  Made subtle comments about wishing I had pants like his, etc.  But he's super-busy at year end and I'm lucky he knows what day it is.  So I suspected he was distracted and missing the hints and might not even get a chance to order them.

Well, one day I'm at the mall and stop in Eddie Bauer.  And they have one pair in my size.  So I bought it, thinking that I could just bring it back if I got another pair, but I'd still have these awesome jeans if he didn't get them.

Christmas morning I open my presents to find the jeans.  Yea!  Except he'd gotten out of the store with the security tag still on.  But that's OK, I told him, I can still wear some, because I have a second pair.  He cracked up about my secret shenanigans.  Well, I took the 2nd pair back to the store and they asked if I was returning or exchanging.  They had a sweater, gloves, hat and scarf that all went with the jeans.  So I thought about getting those in exchange.  When it came time to check out I ended up buying all that and just having her take the security tag off my jeans so I could take them back home.

But I do love my fuzzy pants!

[demarco]

I had a relative who would always ask me what I wanted.  I would mention something  and she would proceed to tell me how stupid it was to want such a thing or she would just say something like, "Oh, nooooooooooooooooooooh!"    After many years of this I finally got a clue and just said "no" whenever she asked me if I wanted something. 

[wyozozo]

For many years I told my mom I needed a new down comforter. Since she had bought the one that needed replaced I knew it wasn't too big of an item. Never got it! I did get to watch the much favored neighbor receive one though!

After my mom's death, I was told that she "never knew" what to buy for me and I "never would say" what I needed/wanted. Hmmm....

[snoopygirl]

  I think this is the Christmas I am going to stop asking for some things. Most of the things I put on my list ( we do a wish list for hubby's family that everybody asks for) are things I wanted to buy myself but held off because oh it is Christmas soon and these are perfect gift ideas if somebody is looking to get me something. I could have bought myself the new Killers cd or the dvd of Hairspray but I put them on my list because they don't cost that much and somebody might want to get me them. I think I should give up asking for items like that. I know because my MIL said oh you are going to get so much Lush stuff this year you will be using it forever. Now I love Lush stuff but to be honest getting it from everybody will end up with me not using it. Not to mention I didn't put any on my list. There is a reason for that. I am really careful what I put on my skin in the winter because my skin gets really dry. I even switched to a new shower gel that moistures which I bought myself. If everybody gets me bath stuff it will end up sitting there to spring as I limit the amount of baths I take in winter so my skin doesn't end up itchy and scaly. I should ask for something else but it is really the gift everybody loves to give and I don't have the heart to hurt people's feelings. 
    But I am pretty sure I am not bothering to do a list next year. I already told my husband that and I said why bother with telling people what I like. Nobody ever pays attention to my intrests. They just buy me the one size fits all generic gift. One year I got Asda makeup that is better suited to a 12 year old because it was easy to get. I just feel kind of bummed because I make a point to know what people like and dislike and buy for their tastes ( with or without a list). How hard can it be to do the same for me?

[Missy2U]

I finally learned with my husband and son being the way they are, it's easier for me to just buy myself what I want. wrap it myself, and put it under the tree myself.

For instance, so far this year I have received two CD's of music I've been wanting, and a few books.  I finished shopping for myself this last weekend in fact.  I wrapped my own gifts last night.  That way THEY don't feel bad when I have nothing to unwrap when they're unwrapping their gifts on Christmas morning.

I have to do this.  Because last year, what did I get?  Treated badly.  That's it.  So I've learned. 

[DCZinger]

I've been waiting and hoping for diamond stud earrings ever since we got married.   Nope.   The family finances aren't at the point where DH can spend a few grand to get me the 1 carat ones I covet.   I would hate for him to raid the retirement account, or use our home equity line for ding dangity earrings. 

UPDATE:  It's Christmas day and I GOT the DIAMOND STUD EARRINGS.  Hyperventilating here!  They are not the 1 carats...but a nice size for my ears, and absolutely beautiful.    See?  Only had to wait 12 years for 'em!   

The first year we were married, DH blew it and got me nice costume earrings.... However, they were unwearable because the posts weren't 14K.  I'm allergic.  He forgot.   Never made THAT mistake again.    I re-gifted the earrings with his blessing, and he got me nice 14k earrings from then on out.

DH has been hoping for a Cessna 182 ( an airplane) for years.   However, at 100K for a used one...I don't think so.    He does have lots of airplane calendars, ornaments, and the latest edition of Flight Simulator.

For Christmas every year...We make a budget, and I give him a list of things that fit that budget.    Likewise, he always hands me a list from Sporty's Pilot Shop and we are pretty happy with what we get.

DCZinger 

[katarain]

I don't know how long it took for me to stop asking, but I asked my mother for roller skates for years as a kid.  I never got them, but one year she gave me ice skates.  Nice, but NOT the same thing.  I used them once on a bumpy pond and they really hurt my ankles.  I think I've only been ice skating twice in my life.

I am fairly sure that my mother never wanted me to have roller skates because she was afraid I would fall and get hurt.  I try not to point it out now, since I know it would only hurt her feelings.  She really was a great mother, just overprotective--way overprotective.

I bought myself rollerblades as an adult.  I should have gotten skates--would have been easier on my ankles, and I still have hardly used them.

[Xallanthia]

My parents said that since DH knew I wanted it so much, he'd probably get it for me. Dh said that since my parents knew I wanted it so much, they'd probably get it for me.

Once, I anticipated this problem.  I was Christmas shopping at an entertainment store and saw a great price on the DVD of a movie I really liked.  "Someone will buy that for me," I thought.  "I shouldn't get it."  But as I was shopping around the store I realized it was such an obvious gift for me that EVERYONE would think SOMEONE would get it (like that old story where Nobody does the work).  So, I bought the DVD, hid it under my bed in the original bag with receipt, and waited for Christmas.

Sure enough, no movie!  But I had it covered

For myself, I don't really have any long-term wants, at least not right now.  So after Christmas, everything is fair game!

[housewife2k]

I have asked for an elephant every year since I have been 4. When I was 4, I wanted an actual elephant-OK, no suprise that I haven;t gooten it. Since I have been 6, I have asked for a stuffed elephant. in the 22 christmasses sincethen, each of my kids has gotten a stuffed elephant. Other people have gotten elephant figurines or elephant themed jewelry. I have gotten monkeys, cats, dogs, an alligator, but no elephant. This year, instead of having a 23rd elephant free year, I asked for a tree monkey...watch, I'll get the elephant.

I would not have obsessed over it as much if someone had mentioned the elephant on the wishlist, but nope! When my boys each got one, I commented on how great they were, and that I wanted one, O got an almost universal response of "You did?!" Hubby knows not to buy me one, because this is between me and my mom and my mom's family. I am the only person who has had a reasonable item on a list for more than 3 years without getting it.