Oh, dear, we're team-building

[Twik]

Oh, goodie, it's "Employee Appreciation Week" at work. In celebration of which, we have so far:

(1) Been bought pizza for lunch (not too bad)

(2) Done a "human puzzle" exercise. I must admit I made the mistake of solving it in 30 seconds, earning us a quick return to work. SHould have kept my mouth shut.

(3) Or maybe not - got the job of helping cut snowflakes out of paper for 1/2 hour.

(4) Been given a paper clip and the inspirational story of how a guy traded one up to a house eventually. We're told to trade them up among ourselves. Unfortunately, the great Paper Clip Drought of '04 is over, and they're kind of at a glut right now.

It's like being at a really poor shower, and having to make a pretense of enjoying all the games, so you don't hurt the host's feelings.

[smuflo]

I hear you.....

At my last company they showed us this video about the guys who work for the fish market in Seattle.  These are the guys who throw the fish to each other while cracking jokes all day.  Something about how if you look at work differently, you can help make it fun for you and those around you.  This was part of a two-day offsite in which we learned to do things like make art projects that represented our process flow and say things like "wow, great idea, please tell me more!"

Then a few months later, they had the guys come and see us IN PERSON *swoon* (in case you didn't know, that was sarcasm).  They entered throwing fish back and forth to each other over the crowd.  I was a lucky one who had a rather large, smelly fish thrown at my head.  My hair was ookie and smelly even after I washed it.

I could have spent this time being productive and making the company money, but instead I had fish thrown at my head.  Pretty much sums up my experience in my later years at that particular company.

[Rei-chan]

LOL the Fish video!!

I have had to sit through this crap on 2 different jobs, and of course, over the last year, DH has seen it at his job at least 4 times now (or was it 5??).  I don't get why we have to sit through this, it doesn't do anything but make us all cringe.

I would have been pretty ticked if I had a fish thrown at my head........

[IndianInlaw]

Trade among yourselves?  Your stuff?  Their stuff?  All those Secret Santa gifts everyone hated?

Florida taxpayers take note.  When I worked for the state, we had motivational and organizational people come in and give us pep talks.  You know relaxation exercises and that nonsense.

Pretty much everyone told us to "delegate".   Who else knew my job?  The file clerk gave us what we needed and we did evaluations.  Who else knows how?

And when you're at the bottom of the totem pole, to whom do you delegate?  People off the street?

I confess, once we had a whole day of this nonsense and my friends and I skipped out and went to Broward Mall.

[Twik]

I don't know - maybe I can trade mine for the photocopier.

Actually, I got an extra paperclip for a seashell I had on my desk from an old craft project. In a stroke of Tom-Sawyer like cunning, I'm now trying to get rid of, I mean trade for, my non-XP compliant UMAX scanner, which is cluttering up my office.

[smuflo]

Inlaw -- good idea about getting bad holiday gifts involved.  

OP maybe you could pair up with a friend at work. Trade your paper clip for her unwanted bath set from her in-laws, and she can trade her paper clip for your unwanted stationary (or whatever unwanted item).

Then, at least, you'll both have someone decent to trade with

IMHO teambuilding is a great idea if you do something that actually builds the team (i.e. going somewhere fun, getting together on some project for the community, etc). Unfortunately a lot of these companies who sell team building feel the need to create a agenda that produces "measurable results" so companies know they are getting their money worth.

And back to the fish -- I was lucky in that the fish only skimmed over my head and hair. One woman got hit in the back of the head hard! The VP of HR asked me what I thought of the fish event and I suggested that the next time they felt a need to include fish in teambuilding, that he should consider an aquarium or restaurant.

[IndianInlaw]

I remember (on the day of the Broward Mall trip) some coworkers sitting in some field, smoking a joint.  I didn't partake (or inhale!).

Now THAT'S team building!

[Venus193]

I hate stuff like this.

At one of my former companies my department held monthly rounds of Cranium.  Fortunately my department head never jumped on the fact that we each gravitated to the same category of question.

[ccnumber4]

One of the many, Many reasons I am so glad I work for myself now.  And with no employees, my "team building" exercises consist of taking myself to the mall, and well, doing whatever the h*** I want. 

[RegionMom]

When I was a temp in a gov't office, we tried the team building stuff.  I was fresh out of college and thought it complete joy to dance to "YMCA" and watch my much older professional co-workers struggle to "Put On A Happy Face,"  and try light yoga in a skirt or dress pants!

We always had free snack style breakfast on those days and poor me got on clean-up crew just to keep any leftovers.  And since clean-up could take a l.o.n.g. time if you worked it right, you did not really have to work work until later. 

I would LOATHE team tricks like that now...but at age 21, it was hilarious!   

[Twik]

Ah, well, tomorrow we get hot chocolate.

[MerryRaven]

My boss was going around with the whole "Find JOY in your work" teambuilding thing.

Well heck I love my job, but he sometimes makes it a living hell.  So while I am trying to get the JOY in my work, he seems to go around sucking the joy right out of it, raining on my parade.

Like if you love your job so much lets seen how you like it with 7 new projects and half the staff.

[Chivewarrior]

They do team-building at school, too. They take it to a ridiculous level, though, to the point where it actually does build the team because we bond by all hating it together.

There's the weekend at the beginning of the year where the boarding students all spend a weekend in the mountains doing things like ropes courses (which I fell off of) and building floatilla with canoes and logs. (Which I declined to get into- last time I did something involving canoes with this school, I almost fell in.)

During the year, we have several weekends where we "bond" by attending required community service events often involving standing outside in the bitter cold. If it's so important that we bond, they can take up classtime to do it.

And of course, there was last year's freshman canoe trip... we went canoeing in a local river, nearly overturned the canoe, and everyone in my boat pretty much ended up hating each other, solely because of that canoe trip. Then we got back to the docks early and after we all got out, we were told we could take the canoes back out again. I looked at my teacher and flat-out told him that I refused to get back in that boat. (Oddly enough, this event was the beginning of a mentor-ish relationship with this paticular teacher...)

They also attempt to do these things to seniors, or do them at the end of May. Since this is a school, the community breaks up in June. If we don't have the community built by that point...

[FoxPaws]

I HATE this stuff!!

I participate with gritted teeth, trying to calculate how much they paid for it and wondering if this is why we no longer get Christmas bonuses or free insurance. I have an equally strong reaction to the little company-logoed trinkets they hand out, and the shiny, four color brochures they send to my home to tell my how much I'm "valued" as a team member.

Pay me, respect me, and treat me fairly, and I'll give a 110%, get along with everybody, and have a morale so high, you'll need a ladder to get a good look at it. Just stop patronizing me with this BS created by someone who's never held my job.

[Xanthia, Maker of fine Tin-foil hats since 2007]

Yeah...teambuilding...

Every year my company brings in some person from the Tony Robbins cult, I mean company and they try to "motivate us" giving us techniques to increase our sales (99% of us do not have sales jobs...I push paper and get yelled at all day) and then hard sell us on spending over $500.00 bucks to watch Tony Robbins on a big screen TV while some of his team members motivate us in person...but you must sign up RIGHT NOW OR YOU WILL BE A LOSER FOR LIFE!!!!

When the guy this year asked me why I was not signing up, I told him that one of my "goals" was to be a good partner to my husband, and one sure way to get divorced was to hand over a substantial amount of money without discussing it with him first...he had no come back for that.

He also had no comback for how I could achieve my dream...becoming a Paraphyscologist.