need some opinions before I lose my cool at school :( kinda long, sorry

[gennacat]

Ok, first I want everyone to know I love my kids school and teachers 90% of the time.  I volunteer on my days off to help the teachers, work with students that need extra help, and I'm the coordinator for our Upromise account.  I adore my son's teacher. My daughter's teacher is another story.  Here's a little background and the problem.

The week before Christmas, I get a call at WORK from my daughter using her teachers cell.  IN the classroom.  To tell me she needs $10 brought to school before lunch.  So she could purchase homemade jewelry her teacher was making and selling on the side.  When I didn't get away from work before 11, she was allowed to call and "remind" me twice.  This teacher has no time for parents and rushes through mandantory conferences but has time to sell jewelry at school.

Yesterday was the last straw.  Our school has a free tutoring program.  To get in, the teacher must request your child because they need extra help. It's 2 afternoons a week for an hour each.  One day they work on math, the other reading and science.  Last month, my daughter got an award for all A's and B's.  A B in math.  Last week they sent home the forms for tutoring.  My son got one but my daughter didn't.  I would assume she still had an B.  I haven't seen any tests brought home because "they are being filed" according to my daughter.   I got the following note yesterday:

Dear Ms. ########,
####'s grade is a high F.  She really needs extra help. I tutor for $25 per hour for those interested. (this is not school tutoring) She says she's having a tough time on several skills.  Let me know.

My daughter was out of school all last week with pneumonia. She has been staying in at recess doing make-up work.  She took a test yesterday on something that they just went over in class, not something they did homework on.  It was a 4 question test worth 100 points.  She missed them all.  Her teacher then explained it to her after she made the 0.  They've only had 2 other tests in the last month so it brought her grade way down. 

I'm not sure how to handle this.  They haven't even started the school tutoring.  There's time for her to get in.  Why didn't she just put her in there?  It makes me think it's about the money and that upsets me.  Should I go to the principal to get her in?  If she's doing this with my child, how do I know she's not sending those notes to other parents instead of signing them up for group tutoring if they need it.  It's not something they advertise.  I only know about it because my daughter's 3rd grade teacher put her in it last year.
I hate for any child not get the help they need because the parents can't afford it.  My daughter said none of her friends in her class are in group tutoring.  Kids from other homerooms are though so I know they have it for 4th grade too.

[Lisbeth]

I think you should call the school administration and ask for a conference with the principal and the guidance counselor if there is one and express your concerns about this teacher and your daughter.

I hope you are able to resolve this problem.  Your daughter shouldn't be treated like this.

[fklwmn]

hmmm... You need to address this. I'm not sure if you should talk to the teacher or the principal though. It does sound like it's abotu the money, and frankly I'm concerned about a teacher offering her tutoring services to her students @ $25/hr at all. But ESPECIALLY when there are free tutoring programs available through the school that your daughter has not been referred to. Obviously her teacher thinks she needs tutoringso she should have referred her to that program.

Okay, I had to talk it all through in my head to decide you should definitely talk to the principal about this. I was at first a little worried about jumping right over the teacher without talking to her first, but I am concerned about her motives not only for your daughter, but for others in the class. And the principal should be made aware that this teacher is charging her students for services that the school has available for free.

Good luck, I'm so mad just reading this story, I can't imagine how angry you are!

[gennacat]

thanks for the reply, keenreader.  I was worried I was reading too much into things.  I'm going to call the school this morning I think.  We called about her make-up work when we realized she would be gone a few days and was told not to worry about it, she can do it when she gets back.  She's staying in every recess to do it. Even the time before the bell in the mornings.  She's so upset about her grades.  She's in a extra -curicular choir at school. You have to audition and be chosen for a spot but if their grades are lower than a C, they get kicked out.

[gennacat]

hmmm... You need to address this. I'm not sure if you should talk to the teacher or the principal though. It does sound like it's abotu the money, and frankly I'm concerned about a teacher offering her tutoring services to her students @ $25/hr at all. But ESPECIALLY when there are free tutoring programs available through the school that your daughter has not been referred to. Obviously her teacher thinks she needs tutoringso she should have referred her to that program.

Okay, I had to talk it all through in my head to decide you should definitely talk to the principal about this. I was at first a little worried about jumping right over the teacher without talking to her first, but I am concerned about her motives not only for your daughter, but for others in the class. And the principal should be made aware that this teacher is charging her students for services that the school has available for free.

Good luck, I'm so mad just reading this story, I can't imagine how angry you are!

I am very upset!   I wanted everyone else's take on things so I didn't completly go off the deep end when I got to the school.  I'm not the only one that has had problems with her.

[blue2000]

If your daughter got a B last month and an F this month there is a serious problem somewhere, and it isn't just your daughter' skills. Her intelligence didn't go down four letter grades in a month. Her grades shouldn't have either.

I would say, too, that if the teacher has NOT recommended any child in her class for free tutoring, but is willing to charge parents for this, she's running a money-making scheme. The bit about selling jewelry in class just confirms this. There is no way she should be selling anything - services or items - at the school, to her students/parents of students!  (If she was only advertising and selling these things outside of school it would be OK)

I would recommend a serious chat with the principal or school board members about this. They need to know what this woman is doing.

[ShadesOfGrey]

The week before Christmas, I get a call at WORK from my daughter using her teachers cell.  IN the classroom.  To tell me she needs $10 brought to school before lunch.  So she could purchase homemade jewelry her teacher was making and selling on the side.  When I didn't get away from work before 11, she was allowed to call and "remind" me twice.  This teacher has no time for parents and rushes through mandantory conferences but has time to sell jewelry at school.

I hope you said "I'm sorry, but I wont be able to bring the money. I'll give it to you today after school, and you can bring it in tomorrow." Selling jewelry is not that urgent.  This teacher has demonstrated that she doesnt know appropriate boundaries. 

Yesterday was the last straw.  Our school has a free tutoring program.  To get in, the teacher must request your child because they need extra help. It's 2 afternoons a week for an hour each.  One day they work on math, the other reading and science.  Last month, my daughter got an award for all A's and B's.  A B in math.  Last week they sent home the forms for tutoring.  My son got one but my daughter didn't.  I would assume she still had an B.  I haven't seen any tests brought home because "they are being filed" according to my daughter.   I got the following note yesterday:

Dear Ms. ########,
####'s grade is a high F.  She really needs extra help. I tutor for $25 per hour for those interested. (this is not school tutoring) She says she's having a tough time on several skills.  Let me know.

Dear Teacher,

I am quite surprised that my daughter's grade is a high F, since last month it was a B.  I do not know what is going on, but perhaps she is struggling with some new concepts due to being out sick.  Let's arrange for some of the tutoring that is available through the school.  I think this will help her tremendously.  In the meantime, I will be calling weekly for progress reports, until her grade is satisfactory again.  I will also be reinforcing her work at home, so any extra work that we could do would be much appreciated.  I will speak with you XXX day, to arrange for the tutoring paperwork and extra work to be brought home. Thank you for your concern.   


Dont worry about other students - you realistically cant do anything about it, unless you talk to the principal and let the principal deal with this teacher's very unprofessional solicitation. 

good luck.

[hollasa]

Do you have a parent group at the school? A PAC, or PTA, or whatever it's called?

I'd attend the next meeting, and ask if there's any policy on teachers selling things to students in class, or offering pay tutoring, without mentioning the free tutoring, for an item that the teacher hasn't covered with the student as yet.

And yes, this teacher sounds completely out of line. The only question is how to cope with her, without hurting your daughter's relationship with her in the process.

Is it possible for her to be pulled from that teacher's class? Another idea - can you get together a group of parents of students from that class, and go to the principal? Or is the teacher just trying to make a profit on you?

[gennacat]

I waited until I took lunch and brought her some money against my better judgement.  The ONLY reason I did was because  I didn't want my daughter to be left out.  I know, really bad reason....  Our school district is the only one around here that doesn't wear uniforms, ect.  All of her friends wear name brand clothes, have cell phones, ect.  She's in the 4th grade!  I didn't believe it at first but I took her and 5 friends to lunch and a movie for her birthday.  I had to pick my jaw up off the floor when they all whipped out their cells to "bluetooth" songs to each other. 

I started thinking last night that maybe her teacher thinks I can afford it since she's friends with these other girls.  That's no excuse for it though.  I CAN'T afford $25/hr.  I'm positive some others in her class can't either. I know one mom. She's a single mom.  I know her son is struggling with a lot of subjects. I want to ask her the next time I see her if she got the same offer for tutoring but I don't want to be nosey either.

[FoxPaws]

It surprises me that the teacher is allowed to advertise and charge for tutoring services.   I would think the school district has rules concerning this, and it might be worth a call to your district office to find out if they do.

I would think there are similar policies regarding selling things while on school time. Most companies and corporations prohibit this. I find it hard to believe that a school district would support it.

[gennacat]

Update!---- I called the school.  I have a meeting at 10:50 today.  I'll let you know how things go.  Thanks for everyone's help!

gen

[fklwmn]

Update!---- I called the school.  I have a meeting at 10:50 today.  I'll let you know how things go.  Thanks for everyone's help!

gen

Oooohhh.. I am eagerly awaiting your update!

[Hawkwatcher]

What this teacher is doing is unethical and probably illegal.  It is her job to help your daughter and she no has no business charging you money for doing her job.  You should probably keep all correspondence from this teacher as well as your daughter's work.  You may also want to consider contacting an attorney if the meeting does not go well (some law schools have legal clinics for people who need affordable legal advice).

If your daughter really needs tutoring and you cannot get her in to the program, you might want to consider looking at a nearby college or university campus for tutors.  You might be able to hire a math student to help your daughter and who may charge a more reasonable rate.

[gennacat]

UPDATE---

When I got to the school, the principal had apparently talked to her already.  Before I could say anything, she said she had decided to let DD retake 2 of the 3 tests since she went over it with her and she understands it now.  I asked her if she needed tutoring why wasn't she in the group tutoring after school.  NOW she says she's doing really good in math (8 out of 8 on 3 assignments and a 92A on a test) except for the last 3 tests.  Two of which were on things she missed while she was gone.  NOW her suggestion is for DD to spend some time in the mornings before the first bell working with her. (my kids get to school about 30 minutes before the bell) It did upset me when she said DD needs to quit being a "social butterfly" flittering around in the hall in the morning instead of being in there studying.  *Everyone* that gets to school early either plays on the playground or in the case of older students, stands at their locker talking.  What 4th grader is going to *ask* to study before school on their own??

From what I could tell, she didn't bother to go over things she missed in class and just tested her.  When she failed, she used it as an opportunity to get some business. 

As a side note, I also saw DS teacher while I was there to ask how he was doing since he *was* refered for tutoring.  She said he was doing well, she just wanted to give him an opportunity for some extra help since 1) it never hurts to study and 2) he has ADHD so if he misses something in class, he can possibly pick it up in tutoring in the afternoon.  It was up to me, but the tutoring was availble if I wanted him to go.  I think 1/2 his class was offered tutoring.  I love that teacher!

[melodrama]

I'm glad you got the chance to speak with your DD's teacher and straighten things out.  I think re-testing her is exactly the right choice and I'm happy that the principal is the one who suggested it.

Did you have the chance to express your concerns about the "side" tutoring the teacher offered?  If you didn't (because she was sitting right there) I think you should write a brief note to the principal anyway, just to have that concern on paper.  I doubt you'll be the only parent to complain about this and if the principal has something in writing it might allow him/her to act on it.