Etiquette School is in session! > "Have you tried the bean dip?"

Two Words That Stop The Questions

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Midnight Kitty:
I work with a wonderful bunch of caring people.  We often discuss health issues: Ours and our families'.  Personal boundaries are seriously compromised.  I had to take off this past Monday to take my husband to the doctor, to the lab for tests, & then to the pharmacy to get the drugs. His complaint is highly personal: Extreme pain in the *groin* area.  I know DH would not appreciate me discussing the specifics of his symptoms with my coworkers.

My coworkers heard that my husband was ill as I tried to figure out whether it was vacation or family medical leave.  Being the caring people that they are, they asked what was wrong with him.

I paused, then replied "Male plumbing."

A cringe passed like a wave around the lunch table & the questioner replied, "That's all I need to hear!"

Worked like a charm  >:D

jais:
I wonder how may varied situations this might work in......  >:D

extranormal:
Excellent!

Kind of analogous to the girl everybody knew in high school who managed to get out of PE by telling the male teacher that she had her period every single week.

My favorite counterpart to "male plumbing" (which I am totally co-opting, by the way) is "ladyparts."

jh:
Many years ago, a co-worker was being interrogated by her boss about the reason for her medical appointment.  After trying to be polite to this clod for a couple of minutes, she finally stated, in a loud voice that carried down the hall, "Stanley, I have a screaming yeast infection."

Stanley went into his office, shut the door, and never asked about her appointments again. >:D

ClaireC79:
Our PE teacher used to mark you as excused in red, could only use that excuse once a month (occasionally could push it twice by claiming long period/irregular cycles) - I think though swimming was the only one she really let us off on for it though

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