Author Topic: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?  (Read 6142 times)

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ShadesOfGrey

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Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« on: January 07, 2008, 10:49:25 AM »
So I recently received an email from a life-long friend (read: I will not tell him to Stuff It) who genuinely believes that a recent decision of mine has put my scruples in danger.  While I honestly believe that he means well, he also has a tendency towards thinking that his interpretation of morality is the only interpretation - just a hint mind you, he's not over-the-top, just strongly believes how he believes. 

His email went something to the effect of "We've always been honest with each other, so I want to ask you what's up with that? Call me if you need to talk or anything." after responding to some questions/comments in my original email. 

Now, I realize that it's none of his business, but I do believe he has genuine concern for me in his inquiry.  How do I repsond? I was thinking something along the lines of "Thanks for your concern, but I've got it under control." or do I simply not respond to that part of the email? Arrgh.  This is tough. 
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

goblue2539

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Re: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2008, 10:53:06 AM »
Since you value his friendship still, I'd go with the first answer.  "Thank you for caring, I appreciate your concern".  Don't promise anything and don't mention that you are polar opposites on this issue unless he continues pressing.  At which point I think it would be fair to tell him that you will have to disagree on this and that you hope not to lose his friendship. 

Good luck.  It's a lot easier to deal with nosy people when you don't care about the relationship than when you do. 

Mr. Fed

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Re: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2008, 06:43:33 PM »
"You really shouldn't worry.  I think this won't have any impact on my scruples at all.  At least compared to what I've been doing with our pre-operative transgendered copier repairman in the supply closet during lunch with a toilet plunger and a recently-expired tub of sour cream."


wheeitsme

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Re: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2008, 06:52:34 PM »
"You really shouldn't worry.  I think this won't have any impact on my scruples at all.  At least compared to what I've been doing with our pre-operative transgendered copier repairman in the supply closet during lunch with a toilet plunger and a recently-expired tub of sour cream."



ew.

and I'll say it again.  ewwww.

Sneezy

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Re: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2008, 07:44:41 PM »
Mr. Fed, now that I've read that, I am afraid I am going to use it on my next family visit.  :P

Some people push up the intensity if they feel ignored.  Still, I'd ignore it unless my friend were one of those people.  Otherwise, a 'Thank you for your concern, have you tried the bean dip?' would suffice.

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2008, 08:39:53 PM »
well, I did answer ("thanks for your concern, I'm ok") and left it at that. He responded with "good good. see you soon."

and that was that. 

Thanks for your encouragement!

Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

MineralDiva

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Re: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2008, 01:16:32 PM »
In the future, just because a question is asked, it doesn't mean an acknowledgment of the question or an answer is required...even if the "asker" thinks so.  Even if the question is asked again.

I've had people do this to me, in response to certain questions.  Makes me absolutely crazy!  (Okay, crazier.)  But it also makes the point (none of your business, I won't even dignify it with an answer you have no right to expect) without saying anything at all.


IndianInlaw

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Re: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2008, 08:38:51 AM »
ewww...expired sour cream. :P

Niona

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Re: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2008, 03:12:24 PM »
"You really shouldn't worry.  I think this won't have any impact on my scruples at all.  At least compared to what I've been doing with our pre-operative transgendered copier repairman in the supply closet during lunch with a toilet plunger and a recently-expired tub of sour cream."



And that ones getting written down in my little 'Notebook of Appropriate Replies in Difficult Situations'

mychizzz

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Re: Is this what I should say? Or just ignore it?
« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2008, 05:28:40 PM »
rdge,

Nice of you to have asked it here first of what to do.  At least you were able to do the positive option. :)

If you value your relationship with a person, and you had that difficult situation with him concerning your own personal life, I think it would really be better to sort things out in a positive way.  Difficult situations are normally encountered but good relationships should be valued.