Venty, ranty, blow off the steam posts

[DottyG]

I beg to differ. Toto is right here beside me taking a kitty nap!

[Keres]

Regarding this, I think there was a misunderstanding.  I started a thread about how to stop people from venting at me, and I think it may have gotten locked due to the title making it mistaken for a venting thread.

[cass2591]

No misunderstanding because that's exactly why I locked it. Had you put a different title on it, I wouldn't have.

Feel free to start a new thread, but please, give it a more appropriate title.

[Keres]

A simple PM or notice to change the title would have been preferred and resulted in an immediate response from me.

[cass2591]

Please see my other post in this folder about your complaint.

[katarain]

So, in summary. Don't vent unless you're prepared to listen to the advice you receive. Don't vent or rant in the On Topic folders about things that don't remotely relate to etiquette. Don't fill your posts with swearwords/threats/all caps, etc. and expect to be a part of this forum. That's what we're talking about here.

Just to make sure my understanding is correct:

Putting a mildly-worded, still polite post venting a little bit about something that happened to you that DOES have to do with etiquette, and welcoming advice/responses about it: OK.

Putting up a vitriol-filled rant where you only want people to agree with you: Not OK.

Am I getting that right?

You are correct.  The forum rules state it thusly:

In other words, venting, when it does occur here, should be accompanied by a desire to apply the proper etiquette to the situation. 

I'd love a bit of clarification... on the main part of the board, does there always need to be an etiquette question?  I always thought that while the forum served the purpose of helping people handle situations in an etiquette-approved way, it also was a place to share stories about people who belong in etiquette hell--much like the stories posted on the main site.  I often see people post asking Where's the etiquette question?" if a post doesn't have one--so, what's the final word on that?  Do we have to have an etiquette question to post in the main area of the forum or not?

[twinkletoes]

I can see where just posting about "this guy on the bus was soooo ruuuude!" could turn into a venty thread.  Instead of just posting the story, why not ask "what can I do differently?" or "was there anything I could have done?"

[kingsrings]

I also fail to see that happening with some of the threads on this forum. For instance, the repeat ones of a certain person who always acts wrong. The threads don't seem to be started for any other reason than to vent about the latest indiscretion the person committed, and no etiquette question is asked.

[Aeris]

I thought we had established before that there does not always need to be an etiquette *question* per se - that you can post a story about someone's rudeness, even if you know they were rude and you have no question about the situation, as long as it doesn't turn into a, as lamorevincera put it, vitrol-filled rant where you only want people to agree with you.

Surely it's okay to post something like "A man on the bus today demanded I get up and give him my seat. <description of event>. I simply told him that would not be possible, and went back to reading my book. Thank heaven for Ehell!"

Isn't it?

[penelope2017]

I also fail to see that happening with some of the threads on this forum. For instance, the repeat ones of a certain person who always acts wrong. The threads don't seem to be started for any other reason than to vent about the latest indiscretion the person committed, and no etiquette question is asked.

I think this is a good point.

[BettyDraper]

I also fail to see that happening with some of the threads on this forum. For instance, the repeat ones of a certain person who always acts wrong. The threads don't seem to be started for any other reason than to vent about the latest indiscretion the person committed, and no etiquette question is asked.

I agree with Kingsrings.  Those ongoing sagas with no related etiquette question seem to be tacitly sanctioned -- yet other threads pointing out foibles and faux pas are summarily locked as rants or vents.  How is the distinction made?  Often it seems to depend on the popularity of the OP rather than the validity of the initial post.  

Not saying that I mind reading the sagas but perhaps the forum folders should be more finely distinguished between those seeking an actual etiquette discussion and those who simply desire relationship/marital/interpersonal advice or a place to blow off steam about personal woes.

[Shores]

Honestly, I really can't stand the sagas. Those seem MUCH more like rants to me than posting about a random encounter that made you angry. A random encounter could be excused with the heat of the moment or posting while upset, but these sagas show that the person is setting out to find instances where the person acted incorrectly so that they can gleefully go tattle about them on Ehell. Now, all sagas don't fall under this heading for me. The poster with the PM stories (I'm sorry, I'm blanking on which "Mom" it is Tongue) was facing a problem she was actually involved in and truly needed advice, even though it was a repeat character. However, some poster have weekly or biweekly stories that are simply "Person X did this!" or "The tale of Person X and the whatever". There's no question and there's no advice sought or needed. Sometimes, the poster isn't even INVOLVED in the story. They're simply tattling about someone else's behaviour for pure entertainment reasons and to laugh at someone's else antics. I find it often crosses the line into highschool-ism (to completely fabricate a word).

[kingsrings]

ITA w/Shores. It doesn't seem to fit the purpose of this forum, either.

[Frostblooded]

I think that EvilDuckie has a great example of a "saga." She posts about her BIL, his latest crazy antic, then posts how they graciously handled it. They are a nice paragon for the forum in my belief.

[O'Dell]

I think that EvilDuckie has a great example of a "saga." She posts about her BIL, his latest crazy antic, then posts how they graciously handled it. They are a nice paragon for the forum in my belief.

I can see why the truly ranty vents don't belong...they don't add anything to the etiquette value of the message board. But as a newbie, I find some of the sagas and the play-by-play dissection of them instructive. They're a bit like case studies.