Venty, ranty, blow off the steam posts

[Ceallach]

Also, if it's a negative behavior that has caused enough grief for the person to bother posting about it on an internet forum, you can count on some emotions of frustration to be reflected in that post.  Many would call that in itself, a rant. 

It would be very difficult for someone who has reached this point to take a step backward, view the situation from an observer point-of-view and to frame it in the form of an inquisitive, emotionless query.

Re this above section of your post, I think that's the key.  Of course, you can't switch emotions off, but from an etiquette standpoint it's how you express them. For example, in real life if somebody makes you angry, you shouldn't yell and swear at them, even if that's how you feel. But there are polite ways of conveying how angry you are about a situation.  Similarly, in posts we look for polite ways to communicate our feelings.

I find that shifting the focus to the etiquette issue helps me to deal with a situation in a polite way - because I look at it from other people's perspectives, not just the way I'm feeling.  The purpose of the forum, to my understanding, is to help all of us improve the way we behave and learn more about etiquette.  So it's worth considering whether a post will advance the dialogue or not.  If the sole purpose of your post is just to let off steam or complain, then it's probably just a rant.  But if you have an etiquette question or genuinely want to understand how to deal with a situation, then you should be fine.

I understand how you feel though, because I still struggle with how to word my posts properly to convey situations accurately and in a way that won't be misunderstood.  eHell has actually assisted my written communication skills because of that! 

[Curly Wurly Doggie Breath]

There is a fine line between opening a topic of someone else's questionable behavior - discussing proper etiquette surrounding the situation versus turning it into a rant/vent. 

Sometimes it can be quite a challenge to rephrase your post addressing the topic to not sound like a rant, since if it was positive/appropriate behavior that we were talking about, we wouldn't bring it up in the first place. 

Actually we do bring up good behaviour and the good things that happen to us <<gentle smiles>>

[pierrotlunaire0]

Also, for me, one of the signs of a real rant is when other people offer advice or dissent in some way, the OP completely rejects it.  This is someone who has bought their own world view, and is not looking for advice in any way.

[Esther_bunny]

There is the "I Need a Hug" folder for when things aren't going well. I've used it quite a lot.

I used the "hug" folder last night to ask about other's experiences they had with a medical procedure and it was locked this morning. I wasnt venting, just looking for advice or similar experiences to be related to me. No clue as to that wouls necessitate the thread getting locked.

[EllenS]

There is the "I Need a Hug" folder for when things aren't going well. I've used it quite a lot.

I used the "hug" folder last night to ask about other's experiences they had with a medical procedure and it was locked this morning. I wasnt venting, just looking for advice or similar experiences to be related to me. No clue as to that wouls necessitate the thread getting locked.

Detailed medical issues or things that  may turn into medical advice are usually locked.

[Ceallach]

There is the "I Need a Hug" folder for when things aren't going well. I've used it quite a lot.

I used the "hug" folder last night to ask about other's experiences they had with a medical procedure and it was locked this morning. I wasnt venting, just looking for advice or similar experiences to be related to me. No clue as to that wouls necessitate the thread getting locked.

That's a different rule - medical advice is not allowed on this forum, so those threads are always locked.  Same as threads asking for legal advice.

[Esther_bunny]

I guess I didn't make it clear that I wasnt asking for advice just what their experience was like. I was thinking more in terms of, "what was it like when you went to Italy?" Or, "what was it like when you did such and such?"
Thank you though for the clarification, I was stumped.

[Ceallach]

I guess I didn't make it clear that I wasnt asking for advice just what their experience was like. I was thinking more in terms of, "what was it like when you went to Italy?" Or, "what was it like when you did such and such?"
Thank you though for the clarification, I was stumped.

Yeah it's a very fine line sometimes - if people are sharing medical information even just from their own experience sometimes it can cross the line as others could base their decisions on that information even if it's not intended as advice. 

[Redneck Gravy]

Also, for me, one of the signs of a real rant is when other people offer advice or dissent in some way, the OP completely rejects it.  This is someone who has bought their own world view, and is not looking for advice in any way.

Sometimes threads are shut down before the OP has a chance to comment on the posts, I don't think that's fair.  Sometimes I ask several questions because I am technology challenged and do not know how to fix something I dislike.  Sometimes I'm annoyed over something that I agree is my own issue but I get dogpiled on before I have chance to say, yes I agree that is my issue, that was not the question I asked about.

I have seen threads shut down and never know why, just this has been addressed, etc.  And yet I feel like there are more opinions that could have been shared but only a few were posted and the thread quickly shut down.

And I still struggle to see the difference between venty, ranty and background on some posts - does anyone else see this?     

[pierrotlunaire0]

I have seen threads shut down and never know why, just this has been addressed, etc.  And yet I feel like there are more opinions that could have been shared but only a few were posted and the thread quickly shut down.

And I still struggle to see the difference between venty, ranty and background on some posts - does anyone else see this?     

I believe that sometimes, moderators who are probably very well acquainted with history on this board know that certain topics result in major blow outs for the oddest of reasons.  So a thread on tipping for example may be progressing politely, and then someone comments a little harshly.  Nothing rude, really, but a skilled moderator knows that this is the opening shot in what will quickly degenerate into all out war.  Tipping is just one of those hot button topics.

In terms of your last question, I have seen a few threads where the OP states their story, and people post: What is your question?  Are you asking for validation?  Do you wonder how else you could have handled it?  In those circumstances, it is probably a rant.

But in a thread where posters are saying, Why didn't you do X or Y or Z, and the OP says, I didn't mention it, but I not only tried X, Y, and Z, but also A.  I don't know what else to try is an example of supplying background info.

But ultimately, I think it tends to come down to tone.  I know that tone is hard to properly convey over the internet, but still some posts either seethe with anger, and that puts me off.

[Lynn2000]

I agree tone is important. And, that's something that can be hard for a person to judge of what they themselves have written, unfortunately. If something is gossipy, judgmental, opinionated, that usually feels more like a rant. Maybe imagine who you're "speaking" to--with your BFF you might try to be funny and colorful, to entertain her; but I think here, a person is taken more seriously if they adopt a tone of "just the facts," like they might say to the police or in court. If someone is struggling, perhaps they could let a friend read their first draft, or send it via PM to a friendly forum member, to get a second opinion?

Another thing I've noticed is that sometimes a person will go on at some length (a paragraph or two) about X, and then say, "I know X isn't rude, it just bugs me, my real question is about Y." Well, that's going to be noticed--inevitably at least one person will say, "X is not rude and talking about it like that makes you sound very judgmental." And you might say, yeah I know, I specifically said it isn't rude--but including the section about X colors the rest of the post for people, distracts them, and perhaps makes them distrust the OP's take on other things. So after writing out a post, especially a long one, the OP might go back over and edit it, considering whether each part really is necessary and gets to their point.

I do think it can be tough trying to decide what background is necessary. No opening post is going to be perfect! And not even the longest post is going to describe every nuance of a relationship. I usually write a lot, because writing it out can be therapeutic on its own, then go through and slash a lot of it (sometimes even deciding not to post at all).