Venty, ranty, blow off the steam posts

[milosparront]

*deep breath*

I will completely abide by any decision that is handed down by the mods here. Them's the rules, and that's that.

However - and not that this matters, but I just wanted to put my opinion in - I can't completely agree with this decision.

Many (most?) of us come into contact with people who repeatedly run rampant over etiquette. And not the "the shrimp fork is the X one on the left" kind of etiquette, the "You're a fellow human being and I'm going to show respect for you" type. The normal human reaction to this kind of treatment is anger, shock, et cetera. And most people need a way to get that out.

The benefits of ranting about etiquette violations here is that it often opens up a discussion - how it could have been more politely handled, what the best way to defend yourself is, et cetera.

I agree that to be overwhelmed by nothing but rants would be bad for the board; but there's got to be a middle ground between letting the ranting overtake the board and putting an edict down that anyone who rants immediately gets a week-long gag.

Maybe modly PMs to individuals who are ranting too much and asking them to take it down a notch, and/or general "OK, guys, let's tone it down" notices to the board in general?

Just my two cents.

I think it's entirely possible to discuss etiquette violators and slights against ourselves without resorting to "ranting." Ranting by its very nature isn't about discussion, it's simply ranting.

CathF I couldn't agree with you more.  And I do believe there is a difference between a "rant" and a "vent".

[DottyG]

CathF I couldn't agree with you more.  And I do believe there is a difference between a "rant" and a "vent".

True.  Maybe the misunderstanding is more of that of symantics.  I think we're really all on the same page with this rule.  We're just expressing it differently, so some people are getting confused.

[milosparront]

CathF I couldn't agree with you more.  And I do believe there is a difference between a "rant" and a "vent".

True.  Maybe the misunderstanding is more of that of symantics.  I think we're really all on the same page with this rule.  We're just expressing it differently, so some people are getting confused.

Totally agreed Dotty!!!!  To me a rant is anger filled.  A vent is more of a complaint.  Different words same outcome!!

[lamorevincera]

CathF I couldn't agree with you more.  And I do believe there is a difference between a "rant" and a "vent".

True.  Maybe the misunderstanding is more of that of symantics.  I think we're really all on the same page with this rule.  We're just expressing it differently, so some people are getting confused.

I think where I'm coming from is that sometimes, the only difference between a vent and an approved post is that the post has a question at the end. I don't yell and scream (too much... I think ) in a rant, so for me, it's not a matter of there being inappropriate language (...much... lol) or vitriol there.

Now, if what is to be banned is the vitriol-filled, screaming, cursing type, I can't disagree with that.

[jimithing]

CathF I couldn't agree with you more.  And I do believe there is a difference between a "rant" and a "vent".

True.  Maybe the misunderstanding is more of that of symantics.  I think we're really all on the same page with this rule.  We're just expressing it differently, so some people are getting confused.

I think where I'm coming from is that sometimes, the only difference between a vent and an approved post is that the post has a question at the end. I don't yell and scream (too much... I think ) in a rant, so for me, it's not a matter of there being inappropriate language (...much... lol) or vitriol there.

Now, if what is to be banned is the vitriol-filled, screaming, cursing type, I can't disagree with that.

There's a thread that was stated today about someone commenting on a poster's hat, and it had "Vent" in the title.  I read it and thought that it was appropriate, as it was an etiquette question.  She wansn't just ranting, and threatening.

[VorFemme]

Although, I would like to vent about that Scritzy person that's on here occasionally.  Can we all have a place to talk about her behind her back?  Because there's a lot I'd like to get off my chest about her.

Me, too, she's sucking up all the diet Coke - doesn't she realize that I need something to drink besides ice water, milk, and hot herbal teas?

And we won't go into how badly Snarky VorFemme wants to get into other people's yarn & fabric stashes to see if there's anything to be traded for...............make that bead, button, yarn, and fabric stashes - with a note that other types of creative supplies could be added later...........she found a website with colored elastic and stretch lace pictures and is setting up a list...........basically two yards of EVERYTHING and five yards of the stuff that might match HER stash.  And she hasn't gotten past the third page of seven...........

I don't know where she plans to put it all...........

[Mr. Fed]

I apologize if my rant-about-comments-about-my-kids post was inappropriate or caused distress.  I will abide.

[CynthiaBelle]

I think ''ranting'' as it is being called is an everyday completely normal thing.

I don't think that I shouldn't be able to come vent with people who are removed from the situation.

I don't just come to this board for etiquette questions, (as I think some others agree.), I come to this board to have ''fellowship'' (sorry for lack of better word) with people who are removed from the situation, who I can explain my feelings to, have shoulders to lean\cry\laugh on, and to let people do the same.

I think ''ranting'' and ''venting'' and expressing yourself can be done differently....Ranting to the point of not listening to anyone else's situations, then what's the point in it?? But ranting just to get it out, is very helpful, and should be embraced.

[allygmail]

I like how CynthiaBelle described this board as a fellowship.  That's how I feel towards the people here.  I don't always post a lot, but I'm usually reading the site almost daily & I feel like this is such a wonderful group of people.  I enjoy reading everyone's posts & have learnt so much from this site it's amazing. 

Sometimes when I'm in a difficult situation in real life, my inner voice sounds like a montage of Ehellions, all trying to give me good advice.  Like, "No is a complete sentence" or "you can't change the situation, only how you react to it." 

I have grown as a person because of this site.  I have grown because of all of you taking the time to share your stories & all your advice.  I love it.



I understand not wanting this to become a vent site.  But I wouldn't want people to feel like they are missing out on all the other posters' insight either.  We have a caring, smart group of people here.  I think a lot of us have come to rely on that.    I don't think that is a bad thing, as much a statement of how caring people are here.

Would there be any way to create an "Advice Requested" type folder?  It could be for posts that are not 100% about etiquette, but where we could state our problem & seek advice from each other?  Sometimes that advice might be to take a look at the problem from another angle or to step back from the situation for awhile.  Sometimes it may be specific advice based on what others here have gone through in their own life.  Would something like that work? 

[Scritzy]

Although, I would like to vent about that Scritzy person that's on here occasionally.  Can we all have a place to talk about her behind her back?  Because there's a lot I'd like to get off my chest about her.

Me, too, she's sucking up all the diet Coke - doesn't she realize that I need something to drink besides ice water, milk, and hot herbal teas?

And we won't go into how badly Snarky VorFemme wants to get into other people's yarn & fabric stashes to see if there's anything to be traded for...............make that bead, button, yarn, and fabric stashes - with a note that other types of creative supplies could be added later...........she found a website with colored elastic and stretch lace pictures and is setting up a list...........basically two yards of EVERYTHING and five yards of the stuff that might match HER stash.  And she hasn't gotten past the third page of seven...........

I don't know where she plans to put it all...........

Hey, you can have the diet Coke. I drink regular decaf. Gotta have that sugar.

And someday let's trade stash pictures. 

[milosparront]

I like how CynthiaBelle described this board as a fellowship.  That's how I feel towards the people here.  I don't always post a lot, but I'm usually reading the site almost daily & I feel like this is such a wonderful group of people.  I enjoy reading everyone's posts & have learnt so much from this site it's amazing. 
Sometimes when I'm in a difficult situation in real life, my inner voice sounds like a montage of Ehellions, all trying to give me good advice.  Like, "No is a complete sentence" or "you can't change the situation, only how you react to it." 

I have grown as a person because of this site.  I have grown because of all of you taking the time to share your stories & all your advice.  I love it.



I understand not wanting this to become a vent site.  But I wouldn't want people to feel like they are missing out on all the other posters' insight either.  We have a caring, smart group of people here.  I think a lot of us have come to rely on that.    I don't think that is a bad thing, as much a statement of how caring people are here.

Would there be any way to create an "Advice Requested" type folder?  It could be for posts that are not 100% about etiquette, but where we could state our problem & seek advice from each other?  Sometimes that advice might be to take a look at the problem from another angle or to step back from the situation for awhile.  Sometimes it may be specific advice based on what others here have gone through in their own life.  Would something like that work? 

I couldn't have said this any beter.  I don't post often either......  But you all feel like family and I for one appreciate you all more than you know.  I am honored !!

[hobish]

There was a rant/vent folder in one of the previous incarnations of eHell. It did not work out too well. You would think it wouldn't happen here; but there did end up being a lot of negativity and griping for the sake of griping, and a lot of it from what i can remember got a little too personal. I recall a thread in particular where someone was ranting about why they can't stand NJ and how much better NY is ... i really don't come to eHell to read about my entire state being maligned. I kind of doubt anyone else is looking for that sort of thing, either.

[Issa]

I don't like a lot of ranty posts. I can understand that some ranting can be cathartic, and even productive in that it opens up discussion - but a lot of ranty posts just create a negative space. To me, an etiquette board is a place where we learn about manners, learn how to deal with tough situations and how to handle rude people confidently - but also a space where we have compassion for other people, and learn to handle ourselves well. A lot of ranty posts turn the board into a place where it seems that all some people do are moan about how the whole world is terribly rude and "entitled". IMO, this isn't very productive, and in my experience - not true.

Don't get me wrong, I have ranty moods - and sometimes it is great to get all our feelings of anger out to an objective audience. However, posts that are JUST ranty and nothing else seem to change the character or the forum. This is a great board, I have learnt quite a few things and I enjoy posting on here. I think a lot of venty posts with no other purpose are not productive on a forum such as this, because these posts change the vibe from a place of learning to a place of anger and pessimism. JMO as usual

[kareng57]

I like how CynthiaBelle described this board as a fellowship.  That's how I feel towards the people here.  I don't always post a lot, but I'm usually reading the site almost daily & I feel like this is such a wonderful group of people.  I enjoy reading everyone's posts & have learnt so much from this site it's amazing. 

Sometimes when I'm in a difficult situation in real life, my inner voice sounds like a montage of Ehellions, all trying to give me good advice.  Like, "No is a complete sentence" or "you can't change the situation, only how you react to it." 

I have grown as a person because of this site.  I have grown because of all of you taking the time to share your stories & all your advice.  I love it.



I understand not wanting this to become a vent site.  But I wouldn't want people to feel like they are missing out on all the other posters' insight either.  We have a caring, smart group of people here.  I think a lot of us have come to rely on that.    I don't think that is a bad thing, as much a statement of how caring people are here.

Would there be any way to create an "Advice Requested" type folder?  It could be for posts that are not 100% about etiquette, but where we could state our problem & seek advice from each other?  Sometimes that advice might be to take a look at the problem from another angle or to step back from the situation for awhile.  Sometimes it may be specific advice based on what others here have gone through in their own life.  Would something like that work? 

I'm not sure about that.

To be honest (and not to criticize Ehell Dame Jeanne, it's her site after all) part of me thinks that there are already too many forums here.  There can be a lot of overlap - for example, do you put a question about handling your friend's kid in Family or Life?  Lots of wedding questions could be in either Planning or Etiquette.  And lots of Coffee Break posts could conceivably have been put in another folder too.  Often I'm interested in looking at additional posts in threads but have had an awful time trying to find them because I can't remember where they posted - and unfortunately the Search function doesn't always work too well.

I don't think we need to create a separate Vent or Want Advice forum - as PPs have said, venting/ranting is fine as long as it's clear that the poster still welcomes input.  It's the "if you don't want to tell me I'm right, then don't bother replying" posts that are the problem.

[CynthiaBelle]

I feel as if we are labeling something that I do in everyday life as a negative thing. I think ranting about something just to get it ''off your chest'' and putting other people down or being 150% negative are tottally different.

I'm not suggesting a rant folder. But in the folders that people already put things in, and I have too ''ranted'', I think should just stay that way.

To say that we can only talk about etiquette on here, and nothing else, would highly change my views of this forum. I much enjoy it because everyone is so open, from so many different backgrounds, and we all have things in common. Wether we agree on everything or not, I look forward to taking a break from ''real life'', sitting down, and having my e-hell time. It's MY time to talk to people who are separated from what's going on in my life.

I would be highly disappointed if people stopped talking as open and freely as we do.