Venty, ranty, blow off the steam posts

[Ticia]

To say that we can only talk about etiquette on here, and nothing else, would highly change my views of this forum.

Cynthia, this is an etiquette forum. Of course it's not *all* we talk about, but it is the main thrust of the forum. There are off topic folders to talk about everything from tv/movies/books to telling us that you had a horrible day or just got a new job. (I need a Hug! and the Good News folders)

I don't think it's too much to ask that non-etiquette venty/ranty posts be kept off the main forum. I don't think it's really even all that much to ask that you keep it out of off topic unless you put it in the I Need a Hug folder.

I would be highly disappointed if people stopped talking as open and freely as we do.

Again, we're not talking about stopping "talking openly and freely." We're talking about posts like Momof2boy's post. She declared that nothing we said was going to change her mind, and then proceeded to fill her post with vitriol and bitterness. And then when she didn't get the response she desired, she came back with more of the same. *Those* are the kind of posts we're talking about.

If you feel the need to blow off steam because you've been having a rotten day, the "I need a hug" folder is there for exactly that. It's there for support. Of course, if you rant there about how you didn't get what you wanted (general you) at your wedding shower so that you could return the gifts for cash, expect to be called on it. Expect to be called on it in any thread, in any folder when you (Again, general you) cross the line, etiquettely speaking.

So, in summary. Don't vent unless you're prepared to listen to the advice you receive. Don't vent or rant in the On Topic folders about things that don't remotely relate to etiquette. Don't fill your posts with swearwords/threats/all caps, etc. and expect to be a part of this forum. That's what we're talking about here.

[Ehelldame]

Would there be any way to create an "Advice Requested" type folder?  It could be for posts that are not 100% about etiquette, but where we could state our problem & seek advice from each other?  Sometimes that advice might be to take a look at the problem from another angle or to step back from the situation for awhile.  Sometimes it may be specific advice based on what others here have gone through in their own life.  Would something like that work? 

Every folder in the main section is an advice requested folder.  Everyone should be posting with the intent to gain advice on how to deal with the etiquette faux pas of not just others but themselves. 

I think people need to understand that Etiquette Hell forum is about etiquette and manners and civility.  It is not a therapy or counseling session and it would be arrogant of us to assume any of us has the education, credentials and knowledge to address these kinds of non-etiquette problems.  We cannot be all things to all people. 

In addition, there has been an increase in "toxic family" type threads that actually use the phrase "toxic".  I realize the Toxic Family Forum has closed and while EHell and Toxic Family enjoyed a very cordial reciprocity with each forum referring members back and forth, Ehell cannot replace Toxic Families.   The issues associated with lifelong family problems are far more intense often requiring professional counseling and we are not equipted to provide any level of counseling.  Need to know how to behave civilly for a specific situation?  Yes, ask but long posts woefully describing a toxic family member are not germane to this forum's charter.

[Ehelldame]

There was a rant/vent folder in one of the previous incarnations of eHell. It did not work out too well. You would think it wouldn't happen here; but there did end up being a lot of negativity and griping for the sake of griping, and a lot of it from what i can remember got a little too personal.

Yes, you are correct.  When the decision was made to close the vent/rant folder on an older version of the forum, the bad reaction by too many people convinced many of us that closing that folder had been a smart thing to do.  If that was the type of people a folder of that type attracted then we were better off without a rant folder and those people. 

To those people who want a rant folder, the bottom line is that there is no chance in Ehell there will ever be a rant folder here again and no amount of appeals will change that.   

[lamorevincera]

So, in summary. Don't vent unless you're prepared to listen to the advice you receive. Don't vent or rant in the On Topic folders about things that don't remotely relate to etiquette. Don't fill your posts with swearwords/threats/all caps, etc. and expect to be a part of this forum. That's what we're talking about here.

Just to make sure my understanding is correct:

Putting a mildly-worded, still polite post venting a little bit about something that happened to you that DOES have to do with etiquette, and welcoming advice/responses about it: OK.

Putting up a vitriol-filled rant where you only want people to agree with you: Not OK.

Am I getting that right?

[Ehelldame]

So, in summary. Don't vent unless you're prepared to listen to the advice you receive. Don't vent or rant in the On Topic folders about things that don't remotely relate to etiquette. Don't fill your posts with swearwords/threats/all caps, etc. and expect to be a part of this forum. That's what we're talking about here.

Just to make sure my understanding is correct:

Putting a mildly-worded, still polite post venting a little bit about something that happened to you that DOES have to do with etiquette, and welcoming advice/responses about it: OK.

Putting up a vitriol-filled rant where you only want people to agree with you: Not OK.

Am I getting that right?

You are correct.  The forum rules state it thusly:

In other words, venting, when it does occur here, should be accompanied by a desire to apply the proper etiquette to the situation. 

[lamorevincera]

So, in summary. Don't vent unless you're prepared to listen to the advice you receive. Don't vent or rant in the On Topic folders about things that don't remotely relate to etiquette. Don't fill your posts with swearwords/threats/all caps, etc. and expect to be a part of this forum. That's what we're talking about here.

Just to make sure my understanding is correct:

Putting a mildly-worded, still polite post venting a little bit about something that happened to you that DOES have to do with etiquette, and welcoming advice/responses about it: OK.

Putting up a vitriol-filled rant where you only want people to agree with you: Not OK.

Am I getting that right?

You are correct.  The forum rules state it thusly:

In other words, venting, when it does occur here, should be accompanied by a desire to apply the proper etiquette to the situation. 

Thank you very much, Miss Jeanne. I completely understand that policy now.

[RoseRose]

I just read this discussion, and it was very helpful, because it helped me clarify the rant rule that I wasn't very clear about.

Thanks, everyone!

[barbie]

hi, i'm new & this is my first post after reading this first thread.  already i have hit a term i don't understand...can you guys tell me what you mean by a "troll"?  you don't have to word it in too negative a way, i can see it's not a GOOD thing, lol!

[lamorevincera]

hi, i'm new & this is my first post after reading this first thread.  already i have hit a term i don't understand...can you guys tell me what you mean by a "troll"?  you don't have to word it in too negative a way, i can see it's not a GOOD thing, lol!

A 'troll' is a person who comes onto a message board/website and puts up a message whose only purpose is to provoke emotional responses. Most of the time they're looking to make everyone angry.

[VorFemme]

hi, i'm new & this is my first post after reading this first thread.  already i have hit a term i don't understand...can you guys tell me what you mean by a "troll"?  you don't have to word it in too negative a way, i can see it's not a GOOD thing, lol!

Think of it as someone throwing something (writing something, at least) into the middle of the group to see what happens, and they hope that it's a fight..........like tossing a cat into a pack of dogs.

Sometimes their post proves thought provoking instead of just provoking..........the troll drifts off to something else when there is no drama involved.

[Nannerdoman]

Although, I would like to vent about that Scritzy person that's on here occasionally.  Can we all have a place to talk about her behind her back?  Because there's a lot I'd like to get off my chest about her.

I hear she lives on the West Side of Oz. 

With the Winkies!

[Scritzy]

Although, I would like to vent about that Scritzy person that's on here occasionally.  Can we all have a place to talk about her behind her back?  Because there's a lot I'd like to get off my chest about her.

I hear she lives on the West Side of Oz. 

With the Winkies!

I've moved. I'm now on the Eastside. Houses be hanged! 

[VorFemme]

Although, I would like to vent about that Scritzy person that's on here occasionally.  Can we all have a place to talk about her behind her back?  Because there's a lot I'd like to get off my chest about her.

I hear she lives on the West Side of Oz. 

With the Winkies!

I've moved. I'm now on the Eastside. Houses be hanged! 

Can I borrow a couple of flying monkeys?

[Scritzy]

They're on their way. Be sure to have flying bananas on hand. They get grumpy when their blood sugar drops.

[Thriving ~ the next adventure]

didn't Toto make off with the red shoes?  Heard he hated Oz.