He actually grabbed my bottom!

[MineralDiva]

This happened last Saturday night...and I'm still irked about it:

My mother was in the area for the weekend, and I went to meet her and spend a couple of days with her at her hotel.  This was not a purely social visit.  She was in on business, but we had some time together.

I drove the hour or so to the hotel, after leaving work on Saturday afternoon.  When I arrived, my mother told me that I was invited to a group dinner with her.  We carpooled to the restaurant, with a few other folks from the organization, who were going to the dinner.  (Not using my car...and she didn't have one.)

On the way out of the restaurant, going back to the car, one of the "gentlemen" in the party, began making some crass comments about my "rear movement" being "exceptional."  (I was walking ahead of him.  He was walking with my mother.)

I'm hearing this, and turned to give the "icy stare of doom."  But it was to no avail.  My mother said, "That's my daughter, I'll have you know."  To which he replied something about "good bloodlines and pedigree."

It was then I turned and said, "That'll do, thanks."  When he commented further, I pointedly told him he was going to get hurt, if he continued.  He finally stopped...until we were in the process of getting into the car.

As I was getting into the back seat, he reached down and grabbed my bottom! "Oh yeah.  That's definitely quality there."  I was both flabbergasted and furious!

That's when I stopped getting into the car, planted my feet and said, "Well, turnabout is fair play, Sparky.  Let's contrast and compare!"  And then grabbed his bottom the same way...which shocked the snot out of him.  And then said, "Hmm...I guess what they say about gravity in the older person, is true.  Oh well..." 

(I thought, 'If you think I'm going to get all flustered and flummoxed here, you're sadly mistaken, you old coot!  If you think you can put your hands on me, then I have permission to do the same back to ya!'  And I also thought, 'Oh great.  I'm in a group of people I don't know, this Donkey is out of control, and I have to figure out how to make my point, without making an bacon-fed knave of myself.  So slapping him silly, wouldn't have been a good choice.)

He recovered by saying, "Oh that's gonna keep me goin' all night!"  To which I replied, "Well it would have been a short night regardless.  You're just lucky I have a sense of humor.  And I strongly suggest you not push it further."

The other people in the car were laughing and shocked that I had the audacity to give back as good as I got.  And the "gentleman" in question, finally wilted in the front seat, on the way back to the hotel. 

Now mind you, I'm 44 years old.  This guy is every bit of 75, if he's a day...and my mother is 69.  What I also didn't realize, is that I knew this old codger, when I was a kid...30 years ago...but he had no idea who he was messing with.  He never pulled such a thing with me as a kid...but always fancied himself quite the ladies' man.  So I guess the thought of a new "playmate," gave the old Donkey, what he thought, was carte blanche, to be a jerk.

He found out differently.  And I'm still seething!  Y'know, I have as good (if not better) sense of humor as the next girl.  I don't mind playful teasing...even from a relative stranger...in the right environment.  But when someone crosses the line, they're gonna get it!  I'm just glad I didn't have to really light it up in neon for him!

[Lunadiana75]

You're nicer than me, I would have knocked his teeth out of head.

[kathrynne]

Glad you were able to respond. I almost surely would've been flummoxed and aghast, and later wished I'd jammed a stiletto heel into his instep.

[MineralDiva]

Oh believe me...I could feel the fires of E-Hell, teasing my ankles!  LOL

[Twik]

Well, you know you shouldn't hit people, it's not really legal, or nice ....

Oh, heck. I had a work colleague once, out of the blue, try to stick his tongue in my mouth. I punched him in the stomach. It wasn't a well-thought-out reaction, it was pure instinct. He never tried it again, though.

In your case, I'd write a letter of complaint to the organization. This man should not be in the presence of women. He's either starting to lose it mentally, or has decided that he's old enough that he doesn't have to behave decently.

[MineralDiva]

A letter of complaint wouldn't be productive, in this case.  We were all adults, so I handled it as an adult.  They can't police every idiot who decides to behave inappropriately in such circumstances.  And for everyone like me, who didn't play along, there is another with whom he may have gotten "lucky."  (And has...over the years.)

I don't fault him for trying.  I fault him for not understanding that he wasn't going to get anywhere, and pushing the envelope, when told to back off nicely.

He thought he was going to make a spectacle of me, in front of everyone.  And it turned out to be quite the other way around.

[Clara Bow]

I had a lot of "dirty old men" as customers when I was working. I tried to never let them get near me, keeping my hindquarters behind the counter. When they did get at me I gave them the glare of death and told them that neither I nor my husband appreciated their attention and for them to stop immediately.
While I salute you for keeping in light and getting your point across I admire you further for not finding out exactly how much pressure it took to break a Polident seal and knock his teeth down his throat.

[MineralDiva]

LOL  Auntie.  Wasn't gonna do it (no matter how tempted).  Wouldn't have been prudent.

[Evil Duckie]

You handled him beautifully.

Too many people think that the elderly should be given a pass on everything they do that is rude. He knew better and liked seeing what he could get away with.

[MineralDiva]

There are only two men in this world, who are allowed to touch my backside:  One is obviously Mr. Diva.  The other, is a dear friend, who was the Camel Man in the '70's.

Mr. Diva directed a show in 2001, that our friend was in.  And one day at rehearsal, he gave me a hug and reached down to pat me on the butt, in the process.  So...I did the same thing to him (as noted similarly  in my OP...but without the venom.)  It's become our "secret handshake" ever since.

Now, he DID cross the line on the deck of a restaurant a few years ago:  I was enjoying some bread and olive oil, and accidentally dripped some oil on a silk skirt I was wearing.  Bob happened to be sitting with me, and spilled some water on my lap as he proceeded to help me clean the oil spot. 

I was not amused.  Not only did he dump enough water in my lap to make it look like I'd wet myself, he was taking undue enjoyment out of putting his hands where they didn't belong. 

There was about half a glass of water left...and I was irritated that he crossed the line...expecially when his wife was sitting at the next table over.  (I didn't know her very well then.  We've since all become good friends.)

In an uncharacteristic moment, I grabbed the half-full glass of water and threw it in his face, drenching his hair and shirt.  "That oughta cool ya down!"  And then laughed.  His wife gasped (she didn't see what was happening...and I think I splashed her.) and he realized (as he sputtered and laughed also) that he'd been a baaad boy.

He's never done anything like that again.  But we still have our "secret handshake."

[Scritzy]

Diva, you are better than I am. I would have gotten in his face and screamed at him (possibly causing a heart attack). And I won't write down what I would have screamed, because I'd get banned from the forum. Or I might have, as a reflex action, given him the knee in the Spauldings. Or done both.

I'm weird about anyone touching me. Or even saying such things about me. (Well, maybe "weird" isn't the word. Maybe I just have a violent dislike of such things.)

[Twik]

And for everyone like me, who didn't play along, there is another with whom he may have gotten "lucky."  (And has...over the years.)

I don't know many women who would have found his approach attractive. I think this is the same sort of mentality as men who expose themselves - it's not that they expect to bed the woman, they get some sort of reassurance of their masculinity by imposing themselves on women.

[MineralDiva]

Oh I've done the "Spaulding" thing too.  A fiend (yes 'fiend'...she's a former friend now.) of mine and I, went to hear a band at a local restaurant/bar.  Mr. Diva knew all the members of the band, but didn't want to go with us that night.

Well, the girlfiend gets drunk and flirtatious with a fellow Donkey of the male persuasion, at this place...who then decided that since we were together, I must be of similar "ilk."  He was wrong.

He was considerably tall, and made the mistake of grabbing me by the lapels of my coat, pulling me close and demanding a "kiss."  "Let go of me,  NOW!"  "I'm not letting go until you give me what I asked for."  "Okie dokie!  Just remember...you asked for it!"  *knee to Spauldings*

He let go of me...and we left immediately...with me vowing never again to go into a place like that with now former girlfiend.


ETA:  SHE would have probably found the elderly Donkey from last Saturday, to be a fitting "companion" for the evening.  *shudder*

[Hawkwatcher]

Well, you know you shouldn't hit people, it's not really legal, or nice ....

Oh, heck. I had a work colleague once, out of the blue, try to stick his tongue in my mouth. I punched him in the stomach. It wasn't a well-thought-out reaction, it was pure instinct. He never tried it again, though.

In your case, I'd write a letter of complaint to the organization. This man should not be in the presence of women. He's either starting to lose it mentally, or has decided that he's old enough that he doesn't have to behave decently.

I believe that it is perfectly acceptable to hit some one in self defense.  Since your colleague was attacking you, you were well within your rights to hit him.  Now if you continued hitting him after he clearly backed off, that would be another matter.

[MineralDiva]

He wasn't my colleague.  I was a guest.  But yes, you're right.