This is starting to irritate me

[Sandi Papaya]

...I can't get the guy I want to figure out that I like him. But apparently I am suddenly the target of all kinds of male attention.

Just last weekend, my uncle brought a friend of his from his "missionary work" (this is a subject about which I get particularly het up, so I'm not going to get into specifics) along to the hospital where my grandma is still staying (nearly a year in and out of hospitals and nursing homes, for the record - 11 months on the 7th of this month!).

Barring the fact that my grandmother has no desire to see anyone outside of her family in her condition (and all of us have been sensitive to that so far), I thought it was fairly indecent of this 20-something kid to clap his eyes on me and not stop staring at me (and blushing when I caught him at it) for the five minutes I was in his presence. Luckily my aunt (my mom's younger sister) decided she had to leave right after my uncle (my mom's older brother) arrived, so I saw my "out" and hitched a ride back home with her. I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him, it was getting too uncomfortable, especially since he wasn't particularly attractive or even close to what I consider my "type." Granted, I kind of reinvent the wheel every time I fall for someone new, but he didn't even come remotely close to what I consider attractive.

The day before that, I had been sitting at a bus shelter in the pouring rain in the same city - I'd had an MRI appointment at the same hospital where my grandma is staying and I had to go to the bank afterward, so, because the counter at the ATM was wet with rain and I had to sign the back of my check, I went to the bus shelter to sign it and fill out the envelope, etc. As I was sitting there, two guys (probably about my age, if not a bit younger) walked by; one paused to give me the once-over and flashed me a big, flirtatious grin. I returned it, but was fairly puzzled - I had gotten caught by surprise, so I had neither hood nor umbrella and looked like a drowned rat. He was kind of cute, but still. I wasn't looking my best at ALL!

This evening, I went to Wal-Mart to get an oil change, and the kid at the automotive counter spent a fair amount of time chatting me up. Granted, said "kid" was 25 - but like the guy in my first example, SO not my type - the first guy was tall, gawky, geeky, obviously awkward in his own skin. The Wal-Mart counter jockey was of the "big and kinda stupid" variety - also not my type. He was nice enough, and even let me leave about 10 items at the counter so I could go and get a couple more things I'd forgotten. And at least he was polite.

But I've started obsessively checking mirrors to make sure I don't have "Please hit on me" tattooed on my forehead. Everywhere I go lately, I'm getting hit on, and it's by all the wrong guys! Help!

[Clara Bow]

You need to come right out and tell Paul that you're interested in a little more than a friendship. Just tell him that you'rr developing feelings for him and that you want to try dating.
As far as the other guys go, you're just gonna have to quit being such a hot tamale!!

[Lunadiana75]

Sounds like you have a few days of fabulous "ego fluffing" (as I like to call it).

As for the boy yu want...TALK TO HIM!  Sorry to yell like that but this 2007 not 1957! Women no longer have to sit and wait by the phone, we can jolly well pick it up and dial the numbers ourselves.  You don't have to hit on the head and drag him back to your cave (although I have used that tactic with success) you simply have to be honest with him.

So take that vibe you have going on, dress in your best "yeah, I am all that" outfit and levelwith the boy.

Luna, the hopeless Yenta.

[Bethalize]

...I can't get the guy I want to figure out that I like him. But apparently I am suddenly the target of all kinds of male attention.

I suspect that he knows. What you want is for him to do something about it. So that raises interesting points. Why hasn't he done something about it? Why haven't you done something about it?

[Verruca]

Love is making you even more gorgeous, Moonbunny.

Re: The Boy, if you're not comfortable just having it out with him, can you up the flirting ante?  If he's looking particularly fetching one night, say, "You look totally kissable."  Touch him a lot - his arm, his shoulder, his thigh - especially if he says something that makes you laugh.  Touch your hair and neck while you're talking to him.

If you're already doing all that and he's still not getting the hint, you could try waiting for a moment when you feel particularly close and saying, "Do you think it would be a good idea for me to kiss you?  Cause I kind of want to."

Sorry, I know you can handle this.  I just really want to see this story have a happy ending!

[Sandi Papaya]

I suspect that he knows. What you want is for him to do something about it. So that raises interesting points. Why hasn't he done something about it? Why haven't you done something about it?

I can't answer for him...but short answer for me: I'm scared. All this time after being dumped, I'm scared of rejection. I'm scared of him not wanting the same thing I want. I'm scared to ruin what we already have, which is precious and beautiful in itself, but somehow isn't enough for me.

I know he thinks I'm "awesome" (his own word - among many other descriptives) and that he's got a lot of respect and affection for me, but if that translates to a relationship, I don't know. I honestly think he's waiting for me to make a move, and I'm still gathering up the courage to do it. I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks (we work opposite schedules, so it's been difficult to find the time). We're in contact pretty regularly otherwise.

In the meantime I flirt with him outrageously, and I'm still puzzled (but flattered) by the male attention. I've made up my mind to enjoy it. It's kind of neat.

[Sandi Papaya]

Love is making you even more gorgeous, Moonbunny.

You know...there may be some truth to that. I've been taking a little more extra care with my appearance lately (I'm of the school of "Who cares? I'm not out to impress anyone.") and everyone says lately that I'm looking good...positively glowing.  Apparently a few guys have taken notice. Even Paul, the last couple of times he saw me, said I was "looking really good" and today when I talked to him he said I "sounded really good, better than ever" (I'm just glad he couldn't see me, because I was still schlepping about in my pj's!). Of course, I think it didn't hurt that the last time I was out with him I smelled like jasmine, and he couldn't help but admire how good I smelled every few minutes. Even at the end of the evening, when we hugged and kissed goodbye (all in a friendly way, I assure you!), he said, "You STILL smell SO good." I'm pretty sure I left the imprint of that scent on his brain. 

He's still wondering, to this day, what it was. I didn't tell him what I was wearing and I still refuse to tell him (but for the record, it was Bath & Body Works "Night Blooming Jasmine" - I can share that with y'all!).

[Rei-chan]

Moonbunny, I tell you from personal experience, in regards to Paul:  make the first move!  It could be that he is nervous about it and is trying to give you hints to see what you are comfortable with.

The reason I say this is that when DH and I met, it was the same kind of thing.  I had been on a 2 year hiatus from men (long story), and he was shy about things.  Finally, I asked my best friend what to do, and she said to be upfront and honest.  I was scared, but I ended up making some comment about it having been a long time since I had been out with a guy, and DH replied "Well, don't worry, I'm pretty easy."  The laughter that comment generated broke the ice and the rest, as they say, is history.  We've been together 7 years and married 5 this July.

Anyway, the point of all this is:  if you want something more with Paul, don't be afraid to open your mouth and tell him.  It may be the thing he is waiting for!   

[IndianInlaw]

Tell him you're going to some event or another (flower show, pro wrestling match, church revival, goat roping).  It's a done deal that you're going, just ask him if he wants to accompany you.

Before he knows what hits him, he's on a date.

[Sandi Papaya]

Tell him you're going to some event or another (flower show, pro wrestling match, church revival, goat roping).  It's a done deal that you're going, just ask him if he wants to accompany you.

Before he knows what hits him, he's on a date.

Oh, we talked about my potential plan to move to Orange County (California) yesterday, and he mentioned that if I moved he'd have to come visit me so we could go to Disneyland together.

I told him he was going to Disneyland with me whether I moved or not, and he didn't raise any objections whatsoever. Heeheehee...