Absolutely Disgusting

[anonymousmac]

I want to know what you guys think of my behavior. Was I wrong to step in even though Bill had told me that Zitbrain wasn't worth my time?

I think you were absolutely right.  Zitbrain may have been attacking Bill, but his completely unacceptable behavior also affected and offended you, and you're allowed to respond as you see fit.  Good for you for speaking up!

[Venus193]

I don't think you were out of line, Auntie.  If nobody speaks up to Zitbrain about things like this, his behaviour will only escalate until somebody decides on a more physical expression of outrage.

The etiquette-challenged friend I've written about here more than once would come back with "all humor is based in hostility."  To me this statement, if true, is a cop-out for passive aggression. As we all know here that is one of the most annoying behaviours we encounter in our fellow humans.

I wouldn't have let him off the hook either just because Bill wasn't protesting.  I'm not Jewish but I am offended by anti-semetic behavior.  I'm not Hispanic but neither can you tell "spic" jokes in front of me.  I've had Jewish classmates and friends from birth and colleagues and friends from both groups.   Who are we as people if we allow our friends to be insulted in our presence without protest?

[high-fiving]

[Bijou]

I was shocked and appalled at the behavior of an acquaintance recently. Before I launch into the story I want to warn everyone that the following contains a vile Antisemetic behavior that some may find difficult. It also has what may have been bad behavior on my part.
In my little circle of friends there is a young man who is Jewish (Bill). He's a very nice kid and very well-liked. There is another kid who is not Jewish and cannot seem to continue life on earth without slamming Bill every chance he gets. His behavior is offensive to all of us, but Bill takes it in stride and has asked us not to sweat it, as that will be giving Zitbrain the attention that he wants.
But I could not hold my silence the other day. Bill was sitting in the student lounge with us, talking and relaxing. Zitbrain walked up and started tossing change at Bill, crowing about how Bill would leap up and catch the money, calling him "Jewboy" etc.
I lost my cool completely. Bill got up and moved over to another set of seats to ignore Zitbrain. I coralled Zitbrain and told him in no uncertain terms that that was the last time I would sit by and allow him to defame Bill and Bill's chosen faith any further. I told him that what he had done and the things he had done in the past were grossly unacceptable and that if he continued, or ever let me hear him say "Jewboy" again he'd be picking his teeth up off his tennis shoes. Period. Zitbrain started whining that it was just a joke, and that Bill didn't mind and where was my sense of humor. I repeated myself and he wandered off to sulk.
Bill thanked me for the intervention but commented that I had given Zitbrain something to sulk about and that Zitbrain was happiest when sulking. Was I wrong here? Bill was not the only person offended, a couple people actually walked outside with disgust. I just can't stand slurs, or racist behavior and I had had a belly full of it. We all joke, Bill jokes about being Jewish as well (he saw me eating a ham sandwich and started pretending to hide from the "evil" ham, light humor. Nothing blatantly cruel) but Zitbrain's tone has never been all in good fun, it's always nasty.
I want to know what you guys think of my behavior. Was I wrong to step in even though Bill had told me that Zitbrain wasn't worth my time?

If Bill chooses to not say something to this pathetic jerk, Zitbrain, that's up to him, but if you are personally offended by the zitbrain's racist remarks it moves away from standing up for Bill to standing up for your own beliefs and I say, good for you!  However, I would leave out the part about his teeth next time.

[Sophia]

Why is zitbrain in your circle of friends?