Personal Grooming in Public?

[kingsrings]

I hate that sound, too!! It is just plain rude to do that.

[macysnail]

I frequently do lip gloss and hand lotion in public.  Rarely I will file a broken nail in public, I prefer to do it in private but if I'm trapped somewhere I will file it quickly rather than waiting.  I wipe my nose in public or quietly blow it, during an allergy attack.  By in public I mean in a store or at a restaurant or something like that.  I always freshen my face and brush my hair before I get out of the car so if someone is with me they're going to see that.

There are somethings I don't think should be done in front of anyone, nail clipping, q-tip use, dental floss, and toothpicks are among them.  All of those things gross me out.  Sadly Dh doesn't have my hang ups and frequently does some of them in front of me. 

[tnpenguinbaby]

I should know better by now but.....I'm happily eating my lunch and reading this thread (I'm a nurse, nothing squicks ME out!) and enjoying myself immensely when I read

My idea of "passing Calculus" is successfully getting rid of a kidney stone, without surgery!

Do you have any idea how much red beans and rice attempting to vacate through the nose hurts???

[anechka]

I once observed a woman plucking her eyebrows on the subway.  It really bothered me.

Personally, I will occasionally brush my hair with a mini brush in an airplane seat - but only if I am sitting next to my FH (this is typical, I sit next to the window and FH sits in the middle/aisle often) and I think it's ok if the brush is pretty much covered by my hand - minimizes strays.  I won't do it if I sit next to a stranger.

Also, I do occasionally put makeup on in a cab.  But, I don't really think that's "public" - there's noone else there and the driver is separated from me by a big piece of plexiglass, and should not be looking back at me anyway.

[Rosey]

I confess: I don't really understand what's wrong with doing make-up in public.  Why is that rude?  Why does it matter if the person on the plane next to me sees what I am doing?  I am a must-have make-up person, so I try to have it on before I leave the house (or get out of my car in the parking lot as the case may be), but I honestly don't see what's wrong with doing make-up on a plane, at a desk (not in a classroom), or on a bus even.

[Slartibartfast]

I confess: I don't really understand what's wrong with doing make-up in public.  Why is that rude?  Why does it matter if the person on the plane next to me sees what I am doing?  I am a must-have make-up person, so I try to have it on before I leave the house (or get out of my car in the parking lot as the case may be), but I honestly don't see what's wrong with doing make-up on a plane, at a desk (not in a classroom), or on a bus even.

I don't understand why it bothers so many people either, but I'm a roll-out-of-bed-and-go girl so I spend hardly any time beautifying myself anyway.  (Okay, maybe two minutes brushing my hair and teeth, but I don't wear makeup and I only use chapstick when my lips are actually chapped.)  I can't say I've never done anything like this in public, but if I realize I have to do something I will go into the bathroom or my car because I realize so many people are bothered.

[Sophia]

I confess: I don't really understand what's wrong with doing make-up in public.  Why is that rude?  Why does it matter if the person on the plane next to me sees what I am doing?  I am a must-have make-up person, so I try to have it on before I leave the house (or get out of my car in the parking lot as the case may be), but I honestly don't see what's wrong with doing make-up on a plane, at a desk (not in a classroom), or on a bus even.

Lipstick, OK.
Powder, No. 

[hellgirl]

The reason I find doing make up in public strange (and I'm excluding lipstick from this, because that is something that often needs reapplying and should be fast) is that I feel it shows a disregard for the person you are sitting next to.

I feel (and others are likely to disagree) that we wear makeup for other people to look at. I mean this in that we can't see our face while we are walking around, so as much as we wear it to make us feel better/more attractive/better dressed/whatever that is because other people see it. And presumably we care what we look like to those people who see it. I personally feel that to put it on in front of other people gives the impression of "I'm not wearing it for *you*, I'm wearing it for other people, who I haven't seen yet. But I will see them soon, so I want to get my makeup on before I get there". I think that this means that you (general you) regard the people who will see the makeup finished as having a more important opinion of you than the random you are sitting next to. This is likely to be true. However it is not a polite impression to give.

While I really don't care what the person I am sitting next to on the plane thinks of me, I am not going to tell them that without good cause (very good cause. Cause like cutting off an unsolicited opinion about myself that I find objectionable). I will smile and be remotely friendly. I will return pleasantries, and continue or cut short conversation as I see fit, and I will do so politely. What I will not do is ignore them as if they are nothing to me or as if I haven't even noticed their existence. I will not treat them as less than I would treat a distant acquaintance, merely because they happen to be sitting next to me.

So, there's my 2c.
And I realise others may not see it this way.

[Rosey]

Sophia, that didn't really tell me anything.

Hellgirl, wow!  I guess it never occurred to me that someone would put that much thought into why I was putting make-up on in front of them!  For that matter, it really never occurred to me that someone might be offended if it is more important to me to look good for the people at my job than it is to look good for the people on the bus.  I'm really not being snarky, this just not ever occurred to me.  I'm frequently concerned with getting the maximum use of my time.  I could really see myself doing make-up without a second thought on a bus or train if I could take one to work 

Anybody else?  Other reasons why putting on make-up in public is rude?

(Side note: I can see loose powder being rude if you are getting it on other people or their property, but let's assume you (like me) don't use loose powder.)

[honeybuzzard]

I think messing with hair in public grosses me out because I know when I brush my hair, my bathroom floor and sink get covered in broken and yanked out strands of hair.  I have to wipe up after I brush it out every day!  (my husband suggested I go out on the balconey to brush my hair in the morning, but seriously?  it's way too cold this time of year at 4:30am to consider!)  I just know hair comes out and scatters around when it's brushed... even the healthiest hair.  It's just the nature of hair.  I don't enjoy having someone's strays attached to me, or much worse, the thought of any of that getting in or on my food.

As far as the makeup application in public... I'm not sure why it's rude either.  I just was taught not to do it.  Not even to apply lipstick unless I'm off to my own or in a restroom.  I really don't think I got a decent explaination beyond "we just don't do that."

[gadget--gal]

As far as the makeup application in public... I'm not sure why it's rude either.  I just was taught not to do it.  Not even to apply lipstick unless I'm off to my own or in a restroom.  I really don't think I got a decent explaination beyond "we just don't do that."

Maybe it's deemed rude because grooming (in general) is deemed to be a personal thing. Maybe applying makeup is not as unhygenic or messy as say brushing hair or cleaning one's teeth, but it's personal all the same.

Personally, I'd excuse myself to go to the bathroom to reapply lispstick or gloss, though I probably wouldn't bother to do this with lip balm or hand cream.

[Venus193]

I agree.  It's a personal process.  Since I use foundation that comes out of a jar I also have to wash my hands at least once during.  Not to mention that putting on eye makeup weirds out some people who can't do it well or never tried to do it.

[cicero]

i do lip gloss, an ocassional quick dab of lipstick ( i can do it w/o a mirror) and hand lotion. anything else, i will go into the bathroom.

on the plane: I do tend to do 'more' at my seat because I always feel it's a bit more private and like the PP I don't feel comfortable taking up valuable bathroom time for my grooming (plus: by the time we get to the last bit of the flight before landing, it usually STINKS!)

[hellgirl]

Hellgirl, wow!  I guess it never occurred to me that someone would put that much thought into why I was putting make-up on in front of them!  For that matter, it really never occurred to me that someone might be offended if it is more important to me to look good for the people at my job than it is to look good for the people on the bus.  I'm really not being snarky, this just not ever occurred to me.  I'm frequently concerned with getting the maximum use of my time.  I could really see myself doing make-up without a second thought on a bus or train if I could take one to work 
...

Please don't think I usually put that much thought into it! If I see people doing it I am a bit uncomfortable (in a 'that's just not the done thing' kind of way) and the question just made me think about why I feel it shouldn't be done.

I started thinking about why we are told not to put our elbows on tables when we eat - and the reason for that (according to Miss Manners and others) is that it excludes the person next to you, creating a physical/body language barrier. Combining this with thinking about *why* we wear makeup and I came up with the above. Which does fit how I feel about it. I even ran it past DH (to check I hadn't gone completely bonkers) and he, to my surprise, agreed (with the above... not the bonkers bit...).

I guess I also see makeup as part of getting dressed. And I try to be fully dressed before leaving the house.

[Sophia]

Sophia, that didn't really tell me anything.
...
(Side note: I can see loose powder being rude if you are getting it on other people or their property, but let's assume you (like me) don't use loose powder.)

That's what I was saying.  Stuff that flys around shouldn't be done where people are sitting.  Even regular powder flys some. 

Perfume, not in public because it's so strong and offensive when first put on. 

Hair, not in public, except maybe putting on a ponytail holder.