There's too many of you to quote from! I'm on the verge of tears from laughing.
My brother and his wife gave me a plaque one year that reads "My cat lets me live here." That pretty much sums it up. KittySuch is a fat girl, but she moves like a gazelle. I have learned that my pillow (the good one, the one that fits my head and neck) is "hers" and woe betide me if I try to sleep on it. (At which point, she curls herself around my head and sleeps with her chin on my temple. Oh so comfy.) If I try to get my head on the pillow first...miss Chunky Butt is already there.
Ditto bathroom trips. There I am, minding my own, um, business. And here comes Kitty Such who hooks herself up and, well, there's no other way to say it, uses my underwear as a hammock. Sort of. If it wasn't such an embarrassing pose, I'd take a picture.
And God forefend I take a shower on my own. She has been known to sit on the side of the bathtub and stare at me. "Why are you getting all that water on yourself? Ugh. I'd never do that."
A friend who has two kitties tells me "Face it, Lily, you're whipped."
I guess she's right.