Cats do NOT respect property

[kathrynne]

Oooohhhh it could all be worse. When I still had the Fance's brother he knewthought the only reason people used a toilet was to give him a lap to sit on. Its very uncomfortable trying to "go" and having a devoted kitty in your lap purring, and worse, kneading!

My original bathroom kitty did this to a roommate our first day in a new apartment. Poor kitty.

[Yarnspinner]

There's too many of you to quote from!  I'm on the verge of tears from laughing.

My brother and his wife gave me a plaque one year that reads "My cat lets me live here."  That  pretty much sums it up.   KittySuch is a fat girl, but she moves like a gazelle.  I have learned that my pillow (the good one, the one that fits my head and neck) is "hers" and woe betide me if I try to sleep on it.  (At which point, she curls herself around my head and sleeps with her chin on my temple.  Oh so comfy.)  If I try to get my head on the pillow first...miss Chunky Butt is already there. 

Ditto bathroom trips.  There I am, minding my own, um, business.  And here comes Kitty Such who hooks herself up and, well, there's no other way to say it, uses my underwear as a hammock.  Sort of.  If it wasn't such an embarrassing pose, I'd take a picture.

And God forefend I take a shower on my own.  She has been known to sit on the side of the bathtub and stare at me.  "Why are you getting all that water on yourself?  Ugh.  I'd never do that." 

A friend who has two kitties tells me "Face it, Lily, you're whipped."

I guess she's right.

[Leprchn]

...She has been known to sit on the side of the bathtub and stare at me.  "Why are you getting all that water on yourself?  Ugh.  I'd never do that." 

You're killing me here!!!!

When I take a bath, Fatn'Lazy jumps up on the tub ledge, paces up and down, howling his disgust at me for being emerged in the evil water!  It's as though he's convinced I'm just gonna up and die right there and then.

One day I tell you, if the idea of the cat going nuts on my nekkid self didn't horrify me, I'd give him a little shove then "Oops!"  Sorry, cat.  Didn't mean for you to fall in!   

[pryncsskittyn]

A childhood "kitty horror story" is coming out of all the bathroom stories.  I think it was my fault though. 

I was a pre-teen, and as diabolical as could be.  Taking a bath one night, one of my Mom's newest female Maine Coons wandered into the bathroom with me.

**side note** most of the cats we purchased or "borrowed" for breeding were primarily raised in cages (big ones as it's a big breed).  Though we didn't do this at our house, our's had lot's of doors so certain cats were allowed in certain places of the house.  I was accoustomed to cats never having seen general living spaces in a home.  This cat was one of them.

After this little girl (her name was Misty *I think*) had inspected the bathroom, which I was quietly watching, she ventured over to the bathtub.  I was laying perfectly still watching her, so the water had no ripples and a smooth look to it.  Misty put her front paws on the edge of the tub and inspected.. leaning in and sniffing the water.  She put one paw out to "touch" the water and felt around a little bit (I wish I had this on film, funniest thing)... I guess she came to the conclusion that it was a solid surface and OK to jump on (although she could clearly see me laying beneath the surface).  As quickly as she was on top of me, she was HOWLING and out of the tub running circles in the bathroom, soaking wet.  I still have the scars from when she launched herself off my leg. 

She HATED the bathroom after that, and, since the bathroom closet was where we raised the kittens, she'd drag all of her babies OUT of the bathroom the first chance she got and into my closet across the hall.

[TheaterDiva1]

Alright, I have to tell you what this silly cat did this morning:

Lately, because it's been so cold in the apartment, I keep my bathrobe on the bed at night instead of hanging it up so I can put it on first thing.  Problem is, I forgot to factor in a cat on top of the robe!  So, I'm sitting up in bed trying to pull the robe out from under the cat.  I finally get one arm in a sleeve, then shove the robe behind my so I can get the other arm in.  The cat decides to attack the robe!

I tried explaining that if I can't get up, I can't go to work.  If I can't go to work, I can't make money.  If I can't make money, I can't buy food, toys and catnip for him.  The entire concept was lost on him.

[kathrynne]

Alright, I have to tell you what this silly cat did this morning:

Lately, because it's been so cold in the apartment, I keep my bathrobe on the bed at night instead of hanging it up so I can put it on first thing.  Problem is, I forgot to factor in a cat on top of the robe!  So, I'm sitting up in bed trying to pull the robe out from under the cat.  I finally get one arm in a sleeve, then shove the robe behind my so I can get the other arm in.  The cat decides to attack the robe!

I tried explaining that if I can't get up, I can't go to work.  If I can't go to work, I can't make money.  If I can't make money, I can't buy food, toys and catnip for him.  The entire concept was lost on him.

I have problems getting humans to follow that much logic. Cats? Hahahaha!

[Yarnspinner]

TheaterDiva,

A few weeks ago, I'd been out in the morning and when I came home, I tossed my wintercoat (with its big hood) on my bed.  When I got ready to leave for work that afternoon, I could not find kittysuch anywhere to say goodbye.  (Miss Chunky Butt is usually right at the door "Where you goin' Mama?  Are you going to bring me something?  Huh?  Huh?")  I looked all over the house, then shrugged and left the doors open to all the rooms and headed back to my bedroom to grab my coat.

Which would NOT come up off the bed.  I thought "Have I not been eating my Wheaties?" 

Then I heard a rather irritated "Meeeerrrrrrtttt!"  (Which is what she calls me.)

KItty Such was fast asleep with the hood of my coat curled up around her.

[CutebutPsycho]

My bathroom kitty loves the shower! He joins me in there every morning, and then runs around the house leaving a trail of water everywhere he goes... He doesn't get into the bathtub if there is water in it... but he has been known to climb in the toilet if the lid is up, and run some laps in there. Splash splash splash, he has a great old time!

(Unfortunately his love for water made it impossible to train him using a squirt bottle. He would get up on the table, I would squirt him with the water gun, he would start to purr. NOT effective means of deterrent when kitty loves water!  )

His two favorite ways to wake me up are to stick his paws in my mouth, (how lovely... kitty litter paws IN MY MOUTH) or to lick my eyelids so that they flick open one at a time.

Cats are just too hilarious. I am loving all of these stories!!!

[melodrama]

This thread is too cute!   I have a couple of kitty mishaps to add:

We have two cats, both giant beasts.  So in the bed at night are me, BF and two 20 pound cats.  Caesar sleeps at our feet, stretched out from one end of the queen sized bed to the other.  Cleo sleeps on me, and will not take no for an answer.  If I push her off, she waits until I fall asleep again then hops right back up.  She has perfected the "log rolling" technique of staying on top of me, even when I roll over.

Cleo also loves the bathroom, and especially loves to watch people shower.  We have a clear plastic liner so she can watch from safety.  She's very good at butting the door open, and can get in the bathroom even when you think you've shut the door tightly.  One day my BF had a friend from work stay overnight, as they'd worked late that night before and were going in early the next day.  The guy wanted to shower and we set him up, then went in the living room to watch TV.  Ten minutes later, we hear:

"Um...dude?  Your cat is staring at me!"

[jais]

Having grown up with cats and having 2 of my own now, it amazes me that any of you seem SURPRISED you can't go to the bathroom on your own? That pretty much prepared me for my daughter's toddler years. Also, as far as sleeping like a contortionist....  I don't go for that, and the cats know it.  But my boyfriend on the other hand has been known to make himselft comfortable on 1/8 of a queen size bed, without blankets during MN winters because the cats have convinced him they NEED his half of the bed. 

[kathrynne]

Having grown up with cats and having 2 of my own now, it amazes me that any of you seem SURPRISED you can't go to the bathroom on your own? That pretty much prepared me for my daughter's toddler years. Also, as far as sleeping like a contortionist....  I don't go for that, and the cats know it.  But my boyfriend on the other hand has been known to make himselft comfortable on 1/8 of a queen size bed, without blankets during MN winters because the cats have convinced him they NEED his half of the bed. 

I read this to DH and he said, "He sounds like a keeper. Easily bullied by cats, he should shape up nicely."   

[TheaterDiva1]

Cleo also loves the bathroom, and especially loves to watch people shower.  We have a clear plastic liner so she can watch from safety.  She's very good at butting the door open, and can get in the bathroom even when you think you've shut the door tightly.  One day my BF had a friend from work stay overnight, as they'd worked late that night before and were going in early the next day.  The guy wanted to shower and we set him up, then went in the living room to watch TV.  Ten minutes later, we hear:

"Um...dude?  Your cat is staring at me!"

Hey - be glad once you let her in, she stas there.  When I had my first cat, god forbid should I close a bathroom door!  Luckily, I was living alone at the time.  Once I close the door, he's bang on the door and start screaming.  Then I turn the shower on.  He screams louder (maybe he thinks I'm getting eaten by the water monster?  Who knows?)  Finally, I can't take it anymore, so I get out of my nice hot shower and let him in.  Once I'm back in the shower, he's at the door again (inside this time) and screams to be let out!  I couldn't win no matter what I did!

Also, as far as sleeping like a contortionist....  I don't go for that, and the cats know it.  But my boyfriend on the other hand has been known to make himselft comfortable on 1/8 of a queen size bed, without blankets during MN winters because the cats have convinced him they NEED his half of the bed. 

Been there, done that.  I've slept in some pretty twisted positions because Leo decided to plunk down in the middle of my side of the bed.  Why he doesn't do it to DH is beyond me - I'm usually in bed first!  Later, DH says he has to pay the price: I move into the center of the bed to accommodate the cat, and DH is teetering on the edge of the bed.

Here's the punchline: DH says I'm being the silly one and I should just move the cat.  However, deep down, I think he'd do the same for him as I do.

[blue2000]

I'd love to move my cat, Mikey, out of the way when I come to bed. He takes up the entire bottom half of the mattress, and usually most of the covers.
Sadly, he is sixteen pounds and horribly stubborn. If I can't convince him to move on his own, I'm stuck playing "human bulldozer", and trying to push him off. It has gotten to the point that I have several blankets standing by, so I at least have covers, even if I don't have room on the bed.

[megswsu]

You know you love your cats when you shift around them in bed so as not to disturb their sleep! They of course have no problem with meowing in the morning if I don't get up soon enough to feed them! 

[dietcokeofevil]

My dh is allergic, so we don't have a real cat.  My dd has a stuffed cat that goes everywhere with her and is like a second child.

Try explaining to people that you have trouble keeping the STUFFED cat out of the Christmas tree.