Um, he's ten....

[littleoats]

I'm 25 and look about...well, MAYBE 18 now.  If I wear enough makeup.

Our office Christmas party was at a casino and when we walked in, I was the only one carded.  The security dude asked me how old I was, I told him, and then he said, still suspiciously, "Can I see your ID?"  Welcome to my life.    I'm pretty sure that on occasion, people think my partner is a cradle robber (I think he probably DOES look 25).  Or maybe that I'm his little sister that he has to drag places with him.  I often have people ask me if I'm in school (a couple years ago, I had a cousin I don't see much ask me, "so are you going to school?"  "No, I graduated."  "No, I mean, are you going to go to college?"  "No, I graduated."  Now I just try to head the "are you going to school?" question off at the pass with "I'll maybe to go grad school some day, but not right now") or if I'm an intern (although considering the nature of my job, plus my looks, that's understandable).

It can be annoying.  I'm always afraid that someone will refuse to serve me alcohol because they're convinced my license is a fake (I feel a bit better about it now that I have a new license picture that actually looks like me).  I would like to be taken seriously from the get-go rather than having to try to insert into conversation how old I am so it's not assumed I'm some dumb high-schooler who's barely old enough to drive without Mommy.  I don't like being called "honey" or "sweetie" in that condescending "isn't she so cute I bet she's so excited to be going to junior Prom next month" way by waitresses and the like, especially not when I'm pretty certain I'm OLDER than they are.

Everyone keeps telling me I'll be glad for it when I'm older, and I'm sure I will, but in a world where it's sometimes difficult enough for a young adult to be taken seriously and people tend to have a low opinion of teenagers...I'd like to not look like a vapid little choir girl who isn't even old enough to vote yet...

I'm in the same boat and I've used almost exactly the same lines.  When people ask me if I'm going to school I tell them I might go get my doctorate at some point but I'm happy with my masters right now.  A couple of years back (I'm 29 now) I got carded trying to sit in a section of a restaurant that was for 16 and over.  Just a few weeks ago I was arranging an afternoon pick up for something and the guy said "so I'll just pick you up at the main door?"  I was totally confused till he clarified; he meant the door of the HS.  My personal favorite was one time at work; I worked at a grocery store when my son was a baby.  There was a couple buying a whole bunch of fancy chocolates and when I commented on it they said it was to send to their daughter at college.  I said "wow, what great parents!  I don't suppose you've ever considered adopting another?" and grinned.  The woman told me that they were paying enough college tuition.  The look on her face when I told her that I came with three kids and a grandson for the was priceless, had to show them the baby picture from my wallet so she'd believe me 

[Brentwood]

I thought of this thread the other day.

My 11-year-old son and I were at a casual restaurant, and he ordered a sandwich and milk. Pretty straightforward, I thought: "I would like a chicken sandwich and a milk, please."

Well, the waitress acted as if he'd solved Fermat's Theorem. "He's so smart!" Really? For being able to order a sandwich? He isn't especially small for his age, but I guess the waitress thought he was younger?

She was very sweet, and I certainly wasn't offended, but it was a little weird.

I'm sure your son IS smart (look at his mother!), but yes, I would certainly expect an 11-year-old to be able to order his own meal without the waitress having to comment on it.

[littleoats]

I thought of this thread the other day.

My 11-year-old son and I were at a casual restaurant, and he ordered a sandwich and milk. Pretty straightforward, I thought: "I would like a chicken sandwich and a milk, please."

Well, the waitress acted as if he'd solved Fermat's Theorem. "He's so smart!" Really? For being able to order a sandwich? He isn't especially small for his age, but I guess the waitress thought he was younger?

She was very sweet, and I certainly wasn't offended, but it was a little weird.

I'm sure your son IS smart (look at his mother!), but yes, I would certainly expect an 11-year-old to be able to order his own meal without the waitress having to comment on it.

I'm just upset that nobody has ever told my two year old how smart he is for ordering his own meal.  If it's impressive that an 11 year old can do it then I think a 2 year old should get at least a full ride to the ivy league school of his choice for being able to ask for "pasta and 'mato sauce" or "boca burger and fries."  Hey, a mom can dream...

[lady_disdain]

I thought of this thread the other day.

My 11-year-old son and I were at a casual restaurant, and he ordered a sandwich and milk. Pretty straightforward, I thought: "I would like a chicken sandwich and a milk, please."

Well, the waitress acted as if he'd solved Fermat's Theorem. "He's so smart!" Really? For being able to order a sandwich? He isn't especially small for his age, but I guess the waitress thought he was younger?

She was very sweet, and I certainly wasn't offended, but it was a little weird.

I'm sure your son IS smart (look at his mother!), but yes, I would certainly expect an 11-year-old to be able to order his own meal without the waitress having to comment on it.

When I was in college (I was probably around 20 at the time), I took the subway to visit my grandmother. You should have seen her reaction! "Wow, you came all the way here alone? And in the subway? Oh my, how bright you are!".

To this day, I cannot understand what the big deal is in taking the subway. She herself does it, so it is not like she is intimidated by it. Very bizarre and, in a way, offensive.

[extranormal]

I'm just upset that nobody has ever told my two year old how smart he is for ordering his own meal.  If it's impressive that an 11 year old can do it then I think a 2 year old should get at least a full ride to the ivy league school of his choice for being able to ask for "pasta and 'mato sauce" or "boca burger and fries."  Hey, a mom can dream...

You go for that scholarship! Let the bidding wars commence!

Whereas I think my son should lobby for an invitation to the Olympic trials. After all -- not only did he order a sandwich unassisted, he managed to walk to the restroom and back without falling down even once. Such athletic genius must not go unrecognized.

[Kaylee]

When I was in college (I was probably around 20 at the time), I took the subway to visit my grandmother. You should have seen her reaction! "Wow, you came all the way here alone? And in the subway? Oh my, how bright you are!".

To this day, I cannot understand what the big deal is in taking the subway. She herself does it, so it is not like she is intimidated by it. Very bizarre and, in a way, offensive.

If you ever figure the motivation behind that out, drop me a line.  My grandmother used to do the same exact thing (I took the bus instead of the subway; she lived in Hackensack  ).  I absolutely never could figure out if it was some sort of PA dig or if she somehow really felt it was a great achievement for a twenty-something college student to be able to find her way three miles on public transportation, but I agree it was both bizarre and off-putting.

[littleoats]

I'm just upset that nobody has ever told my two year old how smart he is for ordering his own meal.  If it's impressive that an 11 year old can do it then I think a 2 year old should get at least a full ride to the ivy league school of his choice for being able to ask for "pasta and 'mato sauce" or "boca burger and fries."  Hey, a mom can dream...

You go for that scholarship! Let the bidding wars commence!

Whereas I think my son should lobby for an invitation to the Olympic trials. After all -- not only did he order a sandwich unassisted, he managed to walk to the restroom and back without falling down even once. Such athletic genius must not go unrecognized.

With balance like that he'll get a place on the gymnastics team no problem!

[avonlea29]

I'm just upset that nobody has ever told my two year old how smart he is for ordering his own meal.  If it's impressive that an 11 year old can do it then I think a 2 year old should get at least a full ride to the ivy league school of his choice for being able to ask for "pasta and 'mato sauce" or "boca burger and fries."  Hey, a mom can dream...

Reminds me of the time we went out to dinner when dd was about 2. I had asked her what she wanted and she wasn't sure. A few minutes later I asked her again (nuggets or grilled cheese, standard for my kids) and without looking up from her coloring she says "I'm still thinking about it." lol When she finally DID decided, she very decisively told me she wanted pizza. She has always been an independent thinker.

~ Christina

[FunkyMunky]

I think people should be (politely) corrected if they think the age is drastically wrong.  I once had a heavily-made up and 'surgically-altered' woman tell me that as I was heading towards thirty, I should consider getting Botox. My response? "Actually, I'm nineteen, but I'll keep that in mind".

Strangely enough, I lost some weight (dingdangity liquid diets after jaw surgery) and everyone agrees I now look older, yet everyone who tries to guess my age gets pretty close. Anyone who doesn't listen to me speak can guess, but they always think I'm older if they talk to me first. Many of my staff are shocked when they see I have braces.  Sure, I'm a bit old for them, but I'm paying myself, I couldn't afford that when I was younger. I think they think I'm in my thirties.

Oh, and fwiw, 'guessing' how old people are never turns out well.  Don't do it. And don't ask me to do it.

[Shortcake]

Oh, and fwiw, 'guessing' how old people are never turns out well.  Don't do it. And don't ask me to do it.

This is very true! I hate it when people try to play that game with me. "No, I don't want to guess your age."  and I would never ask anyone to guess mine. That is just asking for trouble!

[Teenyweeny]

My dad asks new employees at his work to guess his age. Yup, he looks pretty good for his age (and so does my mum, I really hope it works the same for me), but that's just a bad position to be in for them! Actually, when I think about it, it's pretty rude (and surely not very accurate, if my boss asked me to guess their age, I'd shave at least 5 years off what I thought it was, just to play it safe).

[Twik]

Five? Nope, ten at least....

[Brentwood]

Five? Nope, ten at least....

I don't know...if someone told me to my face that they thought I was 31, I might suspect some insincere flattery.

[McLaura]

I've decided to quit lurking b/c this thread hits a serious nerve with me.  I have one kid in each category.  DD#1 just turned 5 and wears a size 8.  DD#2 is 2 1/2 and is finally wearing 18 mo clothes.

I don't worry so much about DD#2 at this point, the comments are just funny sometimes.  As I put her down after carrying her once, a lady commented "Oh look, she's just learning to walk."  (I thought, "Yeah, and she's potty trained too.")  I was caught off guard and before thinking said,"Actually, she's 2 1/2.  She's been walking since she was 9 mo old."  That probably wasn't too polite, but that didn't occur to me until after I said it.  I did at least say it with an understanding smile in my voice.

It's DD#1 that I worry about.  While it's offensive to be talked down to, it's a whole other problem when people think a child is a lot older and expect their behavior to reflect that.  Besides being very tall, DD#1 really does look a lot older than her age (long thick hair, glasses, mature face).  I worry that people's reactions to her implying that is immature will affect the way she feels about herself.  The summer when she had just turned THREE, she used to get direct questions asking what grade she was going to be in next year.  She didn't even know what they were talking about.  I would politely smile, and say "DD#1, can you tell her how old you are?"  The adult would always give me a funny look and sometimes say,"Is that right?"

I can handle direct questions like that, but it's a different problem when a remark is made about her behavior (typical for a 5yo, not for an 8 yo).  Last year, I even remember hearing, "You mean, she can't read yet?"  Uhhhh...no, she's 4.  Any suggestions?

[SkiChick]

McLaura, I have a five-year-old who wears size 8 on top, and she is also really verbal. We haven't had any problems yet, but I do expect that she will be mistaken for an older child when she enters kindergarten. I was very tall for my age and I remember being yelled at by a cafeteria worker who thought I was budging the line; my classmates insisted that I was in third grade, but she almost brought me to tears.

I guess if someone remarked on her behavior and she were not in range, I'd say, "How old do you think she is?! (pause for response) Well, she's only five, and this is perfectly normal for that age." If she could hear me, I'd leave out the "only."