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Author Topic: "You're very observant."  (Read 13490 times)

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Shannon

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2008, 07:06:46 PM »
How does one politely respond to personal observations, like:

"You've colored your hair!"
or
"Are you using a new concealer?"

I usually say, "You're very observant."

There used to be a rule in etiquette that said such things as hair coloring and makeup were "invisible," and that the only proper observation is "you look rested." Has that gone by the wayside?

(For the record, yes, it's Loreal Feria in Copper Penny haircolor, and Bo-ing concealer.)

Oh, I don't know...Nathan Lane's character in The Birdcage said "You look rested" means "You've had collagen." 

quiet_dreamer

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2008, 07:26:02 PM »
I have been dying my hair the same shade of red for the last 4 years (yay L'Oreal E46). My hair colour doesn't change, but people still comment on it. I get "Oh, you fixed your hair!" a lot. I find that confusing, as my hair wasn't broken... My current colour looks more natural on me than my original colour, so for the most part people who do not know me have no idea I dye my hair. I do get the occasional "Is your hair REALLY that colour?" I usually say yes (cuz it is, they didn't ask me if it was always that colour).

Warbaby

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2008, 10:54:03 PM »
How does one politely respond to personal observations, like:

"You've colored your hair!"
or
"Are you using a new concealer?"

I usually say, "You're very observant."

There used to be a rule in etiquette that said such things as hair coloring and makeup were "invisible," and that the only proper observation is "you look rested."  Has that gone by the wayside?

(For the record, yes, it's Loreal Feria in Copper Penny haircolor, and Bo-ing concealer.)

EvilWarbaby says, for repeat offenders, "You don't know?  I didn't tell you?  Must be none of your @#$%&! business, then!"  I try not to let him out without a larger keeper than he is.

I might tell a lady, or even another gentleman, that they look especially nice, but that is the absolute limit for me.  Anything beyond that is uncalled for.  Definitely I would never, ever ask a lady if she had colored her hair, even if it was International Orange!
"May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live." - R. Heinlein

gibsongirl

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #18 on: February 24, 2008, 06:48:09 PM »
The only time I've made a comment about someone's hair is when my best friend called me one day to say she'd cut her hair. 

Me: Really?  How short?
Her:Two inches.
Me: Well that shouldn't look too different...?
Her: No, it's two inches long.
Me: WHAT??  WHY??

(it was nearly to her waist before...)

There still is a rule that makeup, hair color, and that kind of stuff should be "invisible", it's just widely ignored.

IndianInlaw

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #19 on: February 24, 2008, 09:01:13 PM »
I remember when a high school classmate got a nose job (she was 18)

I didn't know her that well (she was sort of a queen bee), but I blurted out "Karen, you're beautiful!"

She was so glad that someone admitted they noticed it.

Maybe saying "Karen, you had a nose job!" would have been less well received. ;)

MadMadge43

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #20 on: February 24, 2008, 09:12:32 PM »
Every three months I spend 3 hours and about $250 to get my hair maintained, I don't change it much, but it would be really nice if somebody noticed.

But alas, I work with computer people and they never do.

beingkj

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #21 on: February 24, 2008, 09:17:34 PM »
My IT boss just noticed my new hair cut. After a week. That's pretty good for a man who lives in a computer.

One of my friends has half of his hair bleached, the other half natural dark brown (it has earnt him the name "top deck"). When people make a comment about his hair he tells them he got drunk and passed out in a puddle of bleach.
Oh no, I'm blogging!

T'Mar of Vulcan

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #22 on: February 24, 2008, 10:56:54 PM »
I get my hair cut very often as it grows really quickly. After each cut, about 10 kids and some colleagues ask, "Did you cut your hair?" To my colleagues I usually just say yes. To kids I say, "No, I was taking a nap on the grass and the garden service drove the lawnmower over it!!"


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beingkj

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #23 on: February 24, 2008, 11:04:22 PM »
Tee hee... T'Mar's number of posts is the same as the year!
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Brentwood

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #24 on: February 25, 2008, 11:10:20 AM »

There still is a rule that makeup, hair color, and that kind of stuff should be "invisible", it's just widely ignored.

I have to say that I would have found it a little weird if my friends had pretended not to notice that I'd gone from blonde to chocolate brown.

caranfin

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #25 on: February 25, 2008, 11:23:19 AM »
I remember an episode of Mad About You where Ira started wearing a toupee, and Paul and Jamie were very, very careful not to say anything about it or even act like they noticed. Then Jamie's sister said something like "Hey, Ira, the toupee looks great!" Paul and Jamie were horrified, but Ira was pleased that someone had finally noticed!  ;D
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gibsongirl

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #26 on: February 25, 2008, 12:00:43 PM »
LOL Cathy F, you have a good point!

I believe the correct response is "there is something different about you but I just can't put my finger on it..."  which allows the person who died/makeuped/toupeed, to respond with either "I don't believe I've done anything different lately" OR "how nice of you to notice, I've changed *whatever*(weight, haircolor, stylists, etc)"


GoldenGemini

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #27 on: February 25, 2008, 10:41:55 PM »
I went from being blonde with hair below my bottom, to a red pixie-cut.  My boyfriend (now ex) noticed about 4 days later.  ::)


Consistency
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Etikate

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #28 on: February 25, 2008, 10:57:24 PM »
I agree that it would be strange not to acknowledge it if a friend had made a major change to her appearance. If I made a major change and everyone ignored it, I would be paranoid that there was nothing nice to say.  I do agree that it's way more appropriate to compliment the new look than to point out how it was achieved (e.g., "Your nails look nice." not "You got fake nails!").
« Last Edit: February 25, 2008, 11:02:39 PM by Etikate »

GoldenGemini

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Re: "You're very observant."
« Reply #29 on: February 27, 2008, 08:48:28 PM »
There was a movie on here last night on SBS, where a man shaved off the moustache he had had since his late teens and no-one noticed, not even his wife.  When he finally said something, they all looked at him like he was mad and said he never had a moustache!


Consistency
It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup   - Demotivators(R)