Author Topic: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?  (Read 11307 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ondine

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4514
Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« on: February 05, 2007, 05:20:36 PM »

I have a question that I hope most of you can help me with. If I am at someone's house and they serve something that I cannot eat, how do I politely decline the offer? I am not talking about something that I cannot eat due to special dietary restrictions - just something that I really do not like in general. I hate rice pudding with a passion (it makes me gag), but what happens in a situation where I'm invited over to a friend's house for supper, and rice pudding is served for dessert? I don't want to accept the pudding for fear that the host/hostess might urge me to take seconds, but I don't want to seem rude either. How do I deal with this problem?

FoxPaws

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5385
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2007, 05:34:32 PM »
Do a variation of the bean dip response: "Oh none for me, thanks. By the way, that bean dip you served was wonderful, is it your own recipe?" Repeat as necessary.

Don't go into an explanation about why you won't eat it, or make a production out of refusing. A simple no works best.

Any insistence that you try it after that is rudeness on the hostess' part.
I am so a lady. And if you say I'm not, I'll slug you. - Cindy Brady

freakyfemme

  • Guest
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2007, 05:56:10 PM »
You could say that you're already stuffed full with all the wonderful food that the hostess served for the main course, and you simply have no room for dessert.  By the way, for what it's worth, I hate rice pudding too.  Rice is NOT a dessert food, and putting it in a pudding with raisins doesn't make it one.

Squeaks

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5026
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2007, 05:57:28 PM »
Start with no thank you

Repeat no thank you

Change the subject

Repeat not thank you


If they push say you are not a fan (or it does not agree with you) of x - the more generic the better. (for me i do not like pie - I will not eat it - if offered a slice of apple, pumpkin – whatever, I am not going to say I don’t like that specific pie I am going to say I don’t like pie)  the more generic you can be the less insulting you are. 

No thank you should be sufficient, but I say if they want to push, be honest, and be unapologetic (about your dislike) you are entitled to dislike something, and if they want an answer give it to them.  Don’t feel guilty, but also assure them it is not their fault, and you are not offended, and you are perfectly comfortable with your preferences and situations – assure them that they are still a wonderful host.

Lisbeth

  • I am a rock, I am an island
  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 29353
  • a/k/a KeenReader
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2007, 05:58:02 PM »
A simple "No, thank you" should suffice.

Lather, rinse, repeat.
I'm away from sanity right now...please leave a message after the beep.
NYC

guihong

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6507
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2007, 08:36:37 PM »
If it happens to be a common source of a food allergy (anything based on eggs, nuts, mushrooms, fish, etc.) you could always pull that card out.  I wish I was assertive enough just to say "no, thank you"  ::).

gui



merkay

  • Guest
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2007, 08:43:38 PM »
Personally, I would just eat a little bit, and then say I'm full. 

I really dislike pumpkin, but I've been in 2 situations where pumpkin was served, once as a soup and once as a pie.  In both cases, I ate as much as I could stomach and then claimed to be full.  In both cases, it was so the host would not feel bad about serving something I didn't like.  I know that both hosts would have felt horrible, after having spent time preparing something they were proud of, if I told them I didn't want any. 
It wasn't going to kill me, and I thought the host's feeling were more important than my food preferences. 

Sophia

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11729
  • xi
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2007, 12:11:03 AM »
I don't know.  I follow the 'eat a little bit' philosophy generally.  But, I have a weak stomach, and with some things I might end up making a mad dash to the restroom.  Or at minimum turning various shades of green.  I suspect that this is the level of discust OP has with rice pudding.  I usually just say that "No thank you" and if pressed say, "It has made me ill in the past".   

With dessert, it is easier to say No than with entrees.  I ran into that when in Taiwan on business.  It seems that in all the lunch trays and in all the 7-11 stores there were the aged deviled eggs, I forget their name.  I read that traditionally the eggs were buried in a pot soaked in urine.  They probably aren't anymore, but there was no way I was eating any food that touched those eggs.  I just tried to convince my co-workers that I just didn't eat much for lunch. 

Squeaks

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5026
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2007, 09:16:05 AM »
Personally, I would just eat a little bit, and then say I'm full. 

I really dislike pumpkin, but I've been in 2 situations where pumpkin was served, once as a soup and once as a pie.  In both cases, I ate as much as I could stomach and then claimed to be full.  In both cases, it was so the host would not feel bad about serving something I didn't like.  I know that both hosts would have felt horrible, after having spent time preparing something they were proud of, if I told them I didn't want any. 
It wasn't going to kill me, and I thought the host's feeling were more important than my food preferences. 

What if the food always induce a strong gag reflex? Is it really less insulting to eat some but be retching and gagging and coughing the entire time and end up with wet red eyes?  See to me that is more of an insult than turning it down

If it is something I can pick at (like maybe a pasta with veggies in it) I can pick around it, but if the entire dish is something that disagrees with me – I really can’t eat any without unintentionally causing a scene.

For what it is worth I have a very strong gag reflex to soft mushy foods – my mom said it goes back to when I was a baby – so any veggies, fruit or beans are pretty much instant convulsions.  I don’t know why, it just happens.

I would try something around people that know how I am  - but with acquaintances I just think it is inappropriate to have physical signs of my dislike manifested at the dinner table. And no it is not something I can control. 

I am mostly just curious – is there ever a point (short of severe allergies) that you would say it would be more rude (or just wrong or silly) to try to eat some? Or do you figure its best to try and then whatever happens happens even if it rather obvious.

HogwartsAlum

  • Guest
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2007, 10:44:26 AM »
I just say, "No, thanks, it doesn't agree with me," and people mostly just assume it bothers my tummy so they don't push it.  If it's pizza with mushrooms (which I can't stand), I usually pick off the mushrooms and give them to someone who likes them.  Since I sometimes feel like I'm the only one in the universe that doesn't like them, there are usually lots of takers.

twinkletoes

  • Guest
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2007, 10:47:34 AM »
My husband is a picky eater, and he gets around the issue by saying "it looks delicious, but I can't eat (food)."  It's true because, well, he can't eat it without getting queasy over the taste/texture!  People just assume he has an allergy, and they don't press him.

merkay

  • Guest
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2007, 11:18:55 AM »
Personally, I would just eat a little bit, and then say I'm full. 

I really dislike pumpkin, but I've been in 2 situations where pumpkin was served, once as a soup and once as a pie.  In both cases, I ate as much as I could stomach and then claimed to be full.  In both cases, it was so the host would not feel bad about serving something I didn't like.  I know that both hosts would have felt horrible, after having spent time preparing something they were proud of, if I told them I didn't want any. 
It wasn't going to kill me, and I thought the host's feeling were more important than my food preferences. 


I am mostly just curious – is there ever a point (short of severe allergies) that you would say it would be more rude (or just wrong or silly) to try to eat some? Or do you figure its best to try and then whatever happens happens even if it rather obvious.


If it will make you sick, of course you shouldn't eat it.  But, if you just don't like it, I say suck it up and be polite, or eat around it.  Sour Cream in large quantities makes me gag, so I usually just eat around a big pile of Sour Cream, or push it to the side of the plate. 

Clara Bow

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18183
  • I gotta go.
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2007, 11:21:51 AM »
You get lucky when it's a dessert item (like my stepmother in law's positively gruesome fruitcake *shiver*). You can say "Oh my gosh, *insert meal* was so good and I ate way too much. I couldn't possibly eat another bite!" When it's during the meal itself, just don't take a serving of the offending item, or just leave it on your plate. I don't question my guests if they do not partake, I will present more than one side dish just in case. As far as entrees, I ask my guest directly before they come over to tell me what they do not eat so that I won't make it. If your host was not able to do that, then just politely decline, eat what you can that is there and be sure to compliment what you enjoyed.
I have finally found the bar I can't get thrown out of....

Evil Duckie

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3962
  • This is not the duck you are looking for
    • My dragon scroll
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2007, 11:31:08 AM »
I have used the good old fashion- "No thank you" and when I have been quizzed about it I use the old stand by- "It doesn't agree with me".

I don't pull out the allergy excuse because we have a food allergy in the family and I don't want to make it seem less than it is.

MerryRaven

  • Guest
Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2007, 11:42:00 AM »
A "no thank you" should be sufficient.  It is rude to continue to urge guests to eat or drink something they have politely refused or demand an explaination of them.

Just continue to say "no thank you".

If you are asked for an explaination (very rude) you can say "I would just rather not right now, thank you anyway."

If someone presists after that just look at your watch say "Oh, I am so sorry I have to go."  Or change the subject.

This works with everyone but my mother who feels that if she is not feeding her children, she is not showing love, but she is not offended if I just keep saying "no thank you"  she is just persistant with the offers.