Author Topic: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?  (Read 11314 times)

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merkay

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #30 on: February 07, 2007, 12:50:10 AM »
I'll explain in a bit more detail a situation where I ate something I didn't like just to be nice. 

My boyfriend and I were invited over to a new friends house to have pizza with her and her husband.  After the pizza, she announced that she had a pumpkin pie that she had baked from scratch.  She was so excited about it.  It was obviously one of the first pies she had ever baked.  I just couldn't bear to tell her that neither of us liked pumpkin pie.  So, we each had a piece.  I piled on the cool whip and ate a few bites that were mostly crust and cool whip. 

I could have told her that neither of us like pumpkin, but I know she would have felt just awful.  So, I ate the pie. 

This obviously does not apply to all foods and all situations. 

Venus193

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #31 on: February 07, 2007, 09:23:49 AM »
Raven, I completely agree.  We are not children whose parents are hounding us to eat our spinach (which I love).

BTW, I keep a small supply of sugar-blocking pills against office birthdays and other such occasions.  I don't eat cake every day (or even once a week), but this helps.

CutebutPsycho

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #32 on: February 07, 2007, 01:24:19 PM »
I have developed recently the same kind of aversion to black olives which I always used to love.  It happened after a bout of stomach flu and I don't know why.  I hadn't eaten olives for weeks prior to the illness.

MerryRaven,

This happened to me once with eggs. I got a really bad flu - as in your case it had nothing to do with the food in question. When I recovered, I couldn't eat eggs for a couple of years afterward. I am just now enjoying the occasional fried egg sandwich.

Strange!
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VorFemme

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #33 on: February 07, 2007, 01:46:32 PM »
My mother overcooked a number of foods when I was growing up - I THOUGHT that I didn't like the foods.

Some of them, over the years, I have tried again - due to being at a restaurant or person's house who mentions a NEW recipe and I feel that trying a bite is going to be more polite than explaining why I won't.

I have learned that zucchini peelings broiled with a little Parmesan cheese grated on top are an excellent appetizer (restaurant), that I do too like onion rings when they are fried in HOT oil instead of warm oil (but no longer eat due to new diet - fortunately salad is usually an option), and spinach - I cannot abide cooked spinach - especially from cans...........but fresh spinach leaves in a salad?  Yuummmm!  And a chicken cheese broccoli soup that DH's team member and wife served us turned out to be so good that I asked for the recipe!

But I do say something along the lines of "just a taste, please" or grab a spoon and take a TINY portion (1/2 tsp or smaller) to see how I react - I know that there are some things that the texture will get me. 

If pressed, I mention that a family member has an allergy to something in that category and I've been warned to watch what happens when I try new foods for that reason.  MOST people today understand that kind of caution in trying some thing new - and I have been lucky enough not to have any food allergies...............pollens, molds, animal dander, and house dust, on the other hand........
« Last Edit: February 08, 2007, 12:34:14 PM by ReneeG1957 »
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Chivewarrior

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #34 on: February 08, 2007, 12:31:42 PM »
I have developed recently the same kind of aversion to black olives which I always used to love.  It happened after a bout of stomach flu and I don't know why.  I hadn't eaten olives for weeks prior to the illness.
Something similar happened to me, except it was after a really high fever. There are a whole bunch of things I used to love and now can't touch, or used to hate and now love... apparently it's not as uncommon as I thought.

Pixie

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #35 on: February 09, 2007, 02:04:23 PM »
Mine is cooked carrots.  Love them raw, or steamed, but not in a stew or even pot roast.   So I guess its over-cooked carrots I don't like. However, I can manage a bite or two, to be polite... say if my MIL was serving stew for dinner.  Which, BTW, was what was served the very first time I was invited for dinner at their house before Hubby and I were married.  Hubby knew I hated it, but he was so proud of me for acting like nothing was wrong. I think it was last year (19 years later) that my MIL found out that I hate stew!

 My brother will not eat bananas.  Not allergic, just never liked them, he would even spit out his banana baby food.   I am allergic to green bell pepper, and have to be so careful, as many packaged foods will hide it, like sloppy joes or potato salads.  I will NOT eat liver.... and I don't care if anyone's feelings are hurt by that.  I won't do it.   




Twik

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #36 on: February 09, 2007, 02:10:48 PM »
I have developed recently the same kind of aversion to black olives which I always used to love.  It happened after a bout of stomach flu and I don't know why.  I hadn't eaten olives for weeks prior to the illness.

MerryRaven,

This happened to me once with eggs. I got a really bad flu - as in your case it had nothing to do with the food in question. When I recovered, I couldn't eat eggs for a couple of years afterward. I am just now enjoying the occasional fried egg sandwich.

Strange!
Not strange at all - it's your body's instinctive protection against poisoning. Your brain is wired to go "Hmm, we threw up after eating that stuff, and felt awful - we really should avoid it in future if it makes us feel like that". Of course, sometimes the sickness and the food aren't really connected, but the instinctive reaction is better safe than sorry.

Of course, if you're like me, and spent several years as a child throwing up frequently, you'll start to run out of things you can eat....
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april

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #37 on: February 09, 2007, 02:56:58 PM »
As someone who hosts a lot of people, I think it's important for a host to take preferences into account when setting a menu or preparing a meal.  I always make a point to email people and either mention, I'm thinking of having ____, is this okay?  Or saying something like, are there any food/cuisine aversions that I should know about?

But that aside, I know some of you have mentioned that this point of etiquette is juvenile, but I'm still a strong believer that when you are invited for dinner somewhere, you really should make every effort to eat what is provided.  If someone has gone to a lot of effort to prepare something for you, I think it deserves at least a little taste.

Barring allergies and health issues, you should just subtly eat around what you don't like, or just claim you're full if your pickiness is that bad.


Squeaks

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #38 on: February 09, 2007, 04:43:13 PM »
As someone who hosts a lot of people, I think it's important for a host to take preferences into account when setting a menu or preparing a meal.  I always make a point to email people and either mention, I'm thinking of having ____, is this okay?  Or saying something like, are there any food/cuisine aversions that I should know about?

But that aside, I know some of you have mentioned that this point of etiquette is juvenile, but I'm still a strong believer that when you are invited for dinner somewhere, you really should make every effort to eat what is provided.  If someone has gone to a lot of effort to prepare something for you, I think it deserves at least a little taste.

Barring allergies and health issues, you should just subtly eat around what you don't like, or just claim you're full if your pickiness is that bad.



as someone who both entertains, and thinks you should try things i have to ask.

would you rather a guest refuse something based on the dislike or wretch and gag visible so that it is clear they hate what they are eating?  Would you rather them at least try it (even if it is clear they get no pleasure in eating it and clearly do not like it) , or would a visible display of fighting the urge to vomit/looking like a contestant on fear factor be worse than just refusing it?


There are some foods that I will react badly too heck I have been know to gag on pizza after picking the stuff I do not like off just cuz I know it was there and I think I can still taste it (sometime you can taste things even if you pick it off or eat around and sometimes that is still pretty inappropriate) eating around or picking at is not really a discrete option in many circumstance

If you would rather me try it, and get some feeling of respect for trying it for you, I am willing to eat one bite, cough, gag wretch, have watery eyes, and pretty much not want to eat anything else all night.. I am ok with trying new things if people push me provided they do not care about my reaction, and know my typical like and dislikes and thus know my likely reaction,and maybe allow me to say I told you so.   I just always thought that would been seen as an insult to suddenly act that way. 

MerryRaven

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #39 on: February 09, 2007, 07:45:34 PM »
I don't know, but as a hostess, if someone says "no thank you" I do not quiz them about why they do not want something.  I take them at their word.

I might offer something else but I wouldn't ever press them about them not eating. 

I often serve buffet-style with many choices so people don't have to say what things they dislike.

I was brought up that a good hostess offered food and drink to guest and didn't make any fuss if they did not want anything. 

I learned that you offered three times ("Would you like some coffee or tea?", "I have juice and milk", "Is there anything you would like?") and then stop because otherwise you were pushing at people and being rude.

As a guest, I refuse to eat things I do not want to.  Why should I be bullied into it by my hostess? 

A hostess should not take offense if a guest refuses to eat something and guests should never have to explain themselves. 

WithoutIssue

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #40 on: February 10, 2007, 03:23:25 AM »

I always jut say "Not for me, thank you", rinse and repeat as necessary.

Why not try a bit or just nibble it? Because of my MIL!

My MIL does not believe that people can dislike foods to the point of them causing a gag reflex or nausea. Impossible, in her book. She thinks there is no excuse for people just being fussy.

On one occasion she served a dessert with jelly (US = jello). I cannot stand jelly, the feel of it my mouth makes me want to gag. I had not had a very large meal because FIL believed that women should be served much smaller portions than men, and as it was a roast dinner he had carved and served. I decided to try a some dessert and , sort of eat around the jelly bits. Because I did not eat all my dessert I was questioned constantly as to what was wrong with it, wasn't it good enough for me etc. For several months afterwards when e visited every meal that was served to me was accompanied by comments about whether or not I would eat it or was I too fussy.

Hubby would aid an abet my swapping veges from our plates while they weren't looking. He hates beans, his mother insists on serving them to him, I can't abide parsnip, we swap and hide the evidence  >:D We also started taking our own food supply to snack on.
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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #41 on: February 10, 2007, 11:04:55 AM »
Let's put it this way.

There is absolutely no way that I could ever eat pickled beets, even a bite or two, just to be polite.

I do not have an allergy, I have a strong aversion to even the smell.  It is probably psychological but I have no idea where it comes from and at my age it won't change. 


I, too, have a completely irrational aversion to seafood, fish, basically anything that lives in the water. I don't know where it came from, and I know the level of my disgust is ridiculous. If it's on the plate, I can't eat anything else on the plate. If it's in a stew, I can't "just eat around it" because it was cooked with the veggies in the broth. I don't even have to try it to know that it won't make it past my teeth before I'm gagging with tears running down my cheeks.

So, what if the entree is a seafood gumbo and the host suggests I just pick out the shrimp?

MerryRaven

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #42 on: February 10, 2007, 01:04:52 PM »
Response "No thank you, I will have the salad."

First of all a good hostess will serve something else or something along with the main course.

Second, there are a lot of people who have fatal reaction to shellfish, so serving only a shellfish or fish based dish is rather rude to begin with.




supernova

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #43 on: February 10, 2007, 05:46:40 PM »

as someone who both entertains, and thinks you should try things i have to ask.

would you rather a guest refuse something based on the dislike or wretch and gag visible so that it is clear they hate what they are eating?  Would you rather them at least try it (even if it is clear they get no pleasure in eating it and clearly do not like it) , or would a visible display of fighting the urge to vomit/looking like a contestant on fear factor be worse than just refusing it?


There are some foods that I will react badly too heck I have been know to gag on pizza after picking the stuff I do not like off just cuz I know it was there and I think I can still taste it (sometime you can taste things even if you pick it off or eat around and sometimes that is still pretty inappropriate) eating around or picking at is not really a discrete option in many circumstance

If you would rather me try it, and get some feeling of respect for trying it for you, I am willing to eat one bite, cough, gag wretch, have watery eyes, and pretty much not want to eat anything else all night.. I am ok with trying new things if people push me provided they do not care about my reaction, and know my typical like and dislikes and thus know my likely reaction,and maybe allow me to say I told you so.   I just always thought that would been seen as an insult to suddenly act that way. 


I think you've gotten a good sample of answers to this question, based on the earlier posts in this thread. 

For me personally, I follow standard etiquette, as many of the previous posters have outlined:  If you *can* eat a few bites without showing disgust, eat a few bites, or at least cut it up and push it around the plate a bit.  If you simply cannot eat it, avoid it.  Eat the other items, praise them to your hostess, and if questioned, say "Oh, the green beans were so good, I filled up on them and just couldn't finish the chicken."  Or whatever.

If it's a dessert, a simple "No, thanks," and if pressed, "Oh, I'm trying to cut down on sugar" or "Oh, the beef was so good, I'm so full!" or "Jenny, you're such a good hostess, I was almost full from the appetizers!" 

It is perfectly okay to be "too full" to eat at someone's house and stop for fast food on the way home, as long as your hosts never, ever find out.

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Ondine

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Re: Polite Ways to Decline Food You Cannot Stand?
« Reply #44 on: February 10, 2007, 11:04:45 PM »
Thanks for you input guys. I was worried, cause I would never want to offend anyone by telling them that I do not like a certain food, but I wouldn't want them to make it for me every time I came over to their place because they thought it was my favourite. You suggestions have helped a lot.