What does etiquette say of discussing prices?

[holly firestorm]

I don't know how anyone could ask this question and not realize that it would be perceived as rude.  I say perceived because I don't think it's rude if you are planning to or just bought a similiar item and want some help with a little price comparison.  But, if that's why I was asking such a question I would make a point of saying, "I'm sorry to ask this and hope you don't mind.  But how much was that X item.  You see, I'm thinking of getting one myself and want get a handle on how much I should be spending."

On the other hand, there's always the people:

"How much did you pay for that?"
"$25."
"Wow! They really saw YOU coming.  I could have gotten you the same thing for $10."
(This probably is not even true.  The $10 item is probably a knock off, if it exists at all.)

[Just Lori]

It's really not polite to ask, but if I happen to be shopping for something similar, I might ask anyway on that basis.  And I don't necessarily mind if someone else in the same position asks me.  However, if I feel they're just being nosy for no good reason, I won't give them any info.

Sometimes I will ask, "What's the price range for (fill in the blank)?"

I tend to get bad sticker shock when it comes to home improvement jobs.  So if a neighbor is having a new driveway put in, I might ask for a ballpark price range without how much their particular driveway cost.  Or, if someone asked me about the price range for braces, I can say that we found they would cost anywhere from $4,000 to $6,000 for our daughter, depending on the orthodontist and exact course of treatment.

[meme8109]

Usually, when someone asks me how much I paid for an item, be it clothes, a car whatever, I just say "Too Much". That usually satisfies them. If they persue it, I will say "Why do you ask". I have been lucky enough that no one has ever said that they just wanted to know.

[Raintree]

Sometimes I will ask, in the form of a very humble, "Mind if I ask how much it was?" if I am interested in purchasing a similar product for myself. If someone asked me that in that context, I wouldn't mind.

When I bought my first car from a used car dealer, I was given a voucher to fill up with gas from the gas station down the street. So when I presented my voucher to the gas station attendant, he knew I'd just bought the car and wanted to know how much I'd paid for it. The correct response, of course, would have been "none of your business" but I was young and less assertive then, so I told him even though I didn't want to. That of course, led to "You paid THAT much? This car isn't worth that much. You can get these cars for $$$"   I have found that some men LOVE to find out how much women paid for cars (or sold them for) and proceed to tell them how much they got ripped off. A former boyfriend pushed and pushed for me to say how much I sold my car for, and I refused to tell him as I knew I'd get a rant about how much more it was worth.

I was out with another guy who asked a complete stranger how much he'd paid for his boat. The stranger said, "I paid enough" which shut down further questioning effectively, I thought.

[WolfWay]

I guess I never got the taboo about discussing money. I never ask the question, because I truly don't care what something costs, unless I am buying one, in which case I will figure that out myself. I don't get terribly offended when someone asks - I just don't get why anyone would care.

Let me tell you a story....

When I went to high school, I could never see why people would spend $X for a pair of Levis (the hot jeans at the time), versus $1/4X for a pair of GWGs. So, I bought the cheap jeans, that were just as good and fit just as well.

Many years later, I was talking to my brother about how "those kids today" are so wrapped up in designer labels. I said that I wore my GWGs proudly, and no one thought less of me for it.

My brother smiled sadly, and explained to me that yes, they did. I just didn't realize it. This explained a lot about my teenage social life, I'm afraid.

This is why I am so incredibly grateful to live in a country where school uniforms are enforced. When I was at school, you don't get to choose what you wore to school everyday, you didn't get to wear extreme hairstyles (no dying your hair, hair past the collar in length MUST be tied up (in a NEAT ponytail), fringes that go past the eyebrows must be pinned back from your face), you were forbidden from wearing any sort of makeup/jewelry to school (unless the jewelry could be hidden under your shirt), no more than one pair of earrings in your ears. It was a fantastic way to enforce an equality amongst students.  You couldn't be judged by the quality of your clothes or your style, since you coudln't display it at school (that didn't stop me plastering my pencil case and notebooks with Def Leppard and AC/DC logos but that was allowable).

On topic: myself and my friends may occasionally ask for the price on something, but we always preface the question with "I know this is rude and I'm not expecting an answer, but I would love to get one of those, would you mind me asking you how much that cost?". It makes it clear that we are not demanding an answer and if someone doesn't want to answer, they don't have to. If they mind us asking, they can simply answer the question with "Yes, I do mind you asking" and we're not offended by that. 

[WolfWay]

When I bought my first car from a used car dealer, I was given a voucher to fill up with gas from the gas station down the street. So when I presented my voucher to the gas station attendant, he knew I'd just bought the car and wanted to know how much I'd paid for it. The correct response, of course, would have been "none of your business" but I was young and less assertive then, so I told him even though I didn't want to. That of course, led to "You paid THAT much? This car isn't worth that much. You can get these cars for $$$"   I have found that some men LOVE to find out how much women paid for cars (or sold them for) and proceed to tell them how much they got ripped off. A former boyfriend pushed and pushed for me to say how much I sold my car for, and I refused to tell him as I knew I'd get a rant about how much more it was worth.

My flatmate's fiance announced with some glee that he'd told the guys at his office how much I'd paid for my brand new car and they were "very impressed that I'd got such a good deal and made such a good choice". Um... thanks, but why are you discussing my finances with your co-workers?

[Sycorax]

I don't have a problem when someone asks me what I've paid for my car. Why should I try to make it a secret when everyone who's interested can look it up at KIA's website?
The same goes for other stuff - why shouldn't I tell what I've paid for my sweater, shoes, coffee maker or other items? In the most case the question isn't asked for mere curiosity, but because people want to get something like the sweater, shoes, coffeemaker or whatever else too and therefore want to know how much they would have to invest.

However, I don't like if someone wants to know how much I've paid for my horses. Prizes for horses depend on many factors - health, gaits, education, pedigree, sometimes even colour (in my opinion it's rather foolish, but a lot of people are totally mad for black horses or want at least black brown or dark brown. They don't even look at chestnuts and would never buy a gray).

Sycorax
"As long as the question is asked for information, I answer it. But when it's asked out of mere curiosity, I refuse an answer."

[Frostblooded]

It depends on if I can interpret the intent behind the questions. With my closest friend or my husband, it's not malicious and they are probably seeking some sort of help. With my granny, she's seeking some way to criticize is, so I am not going to tell her. With a total stranger, I can't usually off the bat garner their intent so I will not usually tell them - though it depends on the item in that regard, if it's a car I would not say anything if it was something small like toilet paper I'd be honest. I must confess, we pay $.50 for six rolls with my husband's discount, I am so keeping up with the Joneses!

[Midnight Kitty]

I don't have a problem when someone asks me what I've paid for my car. Why should I try to make it a secret when everyone who's interested can look it up at KIA's website?

I (almost) never pay retail.  I don't mind telling people how much I paid; That's the only way they could find out.  Most of my clothes come from the thrift store.  Used cars vary in price/value similar to the description you gave for horse prices/values.

The same goes for other stuff - why shouldn't I tell what I've paid for my sweater, shoes, coffee maker or other items? In the most case the question isn't asked for mere curiosity, but because people want to get something like the sweater, shoes, coffeemaker or whatever else too and therefore want to know how much they would have to invest.

That would be an argument for me not telling what I paid, since they probably wouldn't be able to find another similar sweater at the thrift store.  Same story for my used car;  It was a unique value!

However, I don't like if someone wants to know how much I've paid for my horses. Prizes for horses depend on many factors - health, gaits, education, pedigree, sometimes even colour (in my opinion it's rather foolish, but a lot of people are totally mad for black horses or want at least black brown or dark brown. They don't even look at chestnuts and would never buy a gray).

My husband fell in love with Misty's flaxen mane and tail.  That's what caught his eye when he saw her on the internet and again in the pasture.

We bought her at 17 months for $1,500 completely green (never handled) and no particular breeding (mostly quarterhorse, probably 1/8 Arabian).  Her mane is now red with just a few blond streaks and she's a dark chestnut with blond freckles throughout.  He still loves her, even though she's not a "blonde" anymore.

I've always had a fondness for grays, especially dappled grays.  Black and dark brown don't really do it for me.  I guess I have naturally inexpensive tastes. 

[caranfin]

I don't have a problem when someone asks me what I've paid for my car. Why should I try to make it a secret when everyone who's interested can look it up at KIA's website?

I (almost) never pay retail.  I don't mind telling people how much I paid; That's the only way they could find out. 

Sycorax, you don't live in the U.S., do you? Cars are a haggled item here. Someone who asks how much you paid for your car is actually asking how well you can haggle. Anyone who is just curious about the general price of the car can ask the sticker price.

[Itza]

I've only tended to notice a difference between two countries.  I'm speaking generally, mind you, and I'm sure there will be others out there who would oppose this but I'm only speaking what I've noticed.

We, in the UK, tend to love talking about bargains.  If we've got something at a lower price than we expected, we don't mind telling others of our bargain.

But I've noticed citizens in the US tend to steer away from such conversations; they keep their cards close to their chest regarding what they paid for something.

[jibby]

Depending on who asks and why, it doesn't really bother me.  I wouldn't ask someone else what they paid for something unless it was a close friend/family member and I was trying to get an idea of the bargaining possibilities. 

The first few times I was asked if my car (a Mini Cooper) was really available for $X (a price quoted on MSN), I nearly choked.  It was so far below the real prices in the three-state area I researched, it was unbelievable.  I'd rather correct the misinformation than be responsible for someone's showroom rude awakening.   

[ChristiKayAnn]

I've only tended to notice a difference between two countries.  I'm speaking generally, mind you, and I'm sure there will be others out there who would oppose this but I'm only speaking what I've noticed.

We, in the UK, tend to love talking about bargains.  If we've got something at a lower price than we expected, we don't mind telling others of our bargain.

But I've noticed citizens in the US tend to steer away from such conversations; they keep their cards close to their chest regarding what they paid for something.

I think it is more about the individual and the motivation behind asking the price than a country of origin thing. I'm in the US and I love to talk about when I got a bargain. Especially if I can steer others toward a good bargain at the same time.

My favorite times to shop are clearence sales and my little sis calls a lot of our family and friends to tell us when to run to Big Box Home Improvement Store where she works when they put stuff on closeout because you can get the best deals then.

[livluvlaf]

We, in the UK, tend to love talking about bargains.  If we've got something at a lower price than we expected, we don't mind telling others of our bargain.

But I've noticed citizens in the US tend to steer away from such conversations; they keep their cards close to their chest regarding what they paid for something.

I think it is more about the individual and the motivation behind asking the price than a country of origin thing. I'm in the US and I love to talk about when I got a bargain. Especially if I can steer others toward a good bargain at the same time.

DH tells EVERYONE what he paid for EVERYTHING. He loves to barter & find bargains, so if someone opens that can of worms with him, he'll not only tell them about the item of interest .... but also about every other item he's wearing, every electronic in his possession, cars, etc. With him, it's not so much to help others find their own bargains, but kind of bragging about what a great shopper he is.

My problem(s) with this:
 - I'm a private person, I don't like people knowing my/our financial stuff. I've never liked discussing prices.
 - He comes across as bragging, which I find embarrassing.
 - When he rattles on about multiple items, it gives the impression he's always shopping & spending money. He's not always sensitive about his audience, and several times he's caught himself flaunting his shopping habits to someone not as fortunate.
 - Everything is subjective - some people may agree it's a bargain, while others are floored anyone would spend $X on a whatchamacallit. once you name the dollar figure, you give them ammunition to become judgmental?

[lucy_in_the_sky]

I get what you mean, but sometimes people ask how much you paid for the same reason they ask where you got it: Because they want one of their own! I've been known to do that myself, but I always preface it with "If you don't mind my asking..."

It never occurred to me that it was rude, but I totally see how it is! I'll have to keep that in mind next time I'm coveting a handbag and curious about where it was purchased + how much it cost... 

Bad, Lucy, bad.