Author Topic: Why Do They Do This? (Bit of a Vent)  (Read 5607 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

NEDESAPIO

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1923
Why Do They Do This? (Bit of a Vent)
« on: December 11, 2006, 11:20:36 AM »
(The Administrator can move this post to “Family and Children” if necessary.)  In the previous forum we had a thread about people who come in sick to work and act like martyrs while at the same time infecting other people.  As a teacher in a learning center, I’m getting sick of parents who send their ill children to the center rather than keeping them home to recover.  This is not fair to the poor, sick child, and it’s not fair to those who work at the center, who are exposed to the child’s germs. 

The other day one of my pupils, an eight-year-old girl whom I’ll call Sally, came in for her scheduled session.  Sally is a bright girl, though inclined to be bratty.  I saw at once that her cheeks her flushed; I asked her if she was sick.  She answered yes, she had the flu.  She also told he she’d been suspended from school that day.  (I didn’t pursue this topic further, as it’s not my job to do so.)  I asked why she wasn’t at home, resting; she told me her mother had made her come in that day.  I was annoyed, but went on with the lesson plan.  If she should start feeling worse, I told her, tell me, and I will ask Miss J. (my gushy, somewhat flaky boss—see under “Time for a Coffee Break”) to call your mom (as I have no authority to call the parents).  While Sally worked, I decided to write up an index card detailing my concern (this is what we teachers are instructed to do if we have concerns) that Sally had been sent in with flu.

Well, Sally did hold up admirably to her ninety-minute session, though she was coughing (I urged her to cover her mouth), looking flushed, and (during the last fifteen minutes) could barely keep her eyes open.  It did just occur to me that Sally’s mom might have thought it a form of punishment (for having been suspended) to send Sally to her session even though she was ill.

But am I unreasonable in expecting sick children to be kept home?  Or is it just too much to ask of today’s working mothers (Sally’s mom’s in the military, though she is here and not overseas)?  Do you think I could have handled the situation any differently?  I’d like to emphasize that a learning center is a place for children who have trouble with their school subjects—it’s not daycare.  I’d like also to say that if children do miss their sessions, their parents are simply asked to schedule a make-up; it’s not a huge ordeal.   

platys

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 740
Re: Why Do They Do This? (Bit of a Vent)
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2006, 11:36:24 AM »
Well, sadly, a lot of working parents often don't have a lot of choices if they are sick.  I'm lucky I work for a company with nice sick and vacation time, but a lot of folks _don't_ have that luxury.  They can't just stay home with sick kids.

I went to school sick a _lot_ as a child, because if my mom didn't work, she didn't get paid.  When I was older I"d stay home alone, but only if I was actively throwing up - otherwise, we went to school.

NEDESAPIO

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1923
Re: Why Do They Do This? (Bit of a Vent)
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2006, 11:50:06 AM »
Well, sadly, a lot of working parents often don't have a lot of choices if they are sick.

Or if their kids are sick, you mean?  I'm sure that's true.  In the case of Sally, though, her session occurred between 5:00 and 6:30 in the evening, and her mom brought her to the center personally (I saw her).  I also happened to know that she is home temporarily with a new baby.  It seems to me that she could have stayed home with Sally if she'd chosen to; the way Sally described it, it sounded like her mom was angry with her for getting herself suspended and told her, in effect, "You're going to your session today, whether you feel well enough to or not."

fklwmn

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 661
  • I CAN spell.. I just can't type...
    • check out my blog!
Re: Why Do They Do This? (Bit of a Vent)
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2006, 11:53:36 AM »
Well, sadly, a lot of working parents often don't have a lot of choices if they are sick.  I'm lucky I work for a company with nice sick and vacation time, but a lot of folks _don't_ have that luxury.  They can't just stay home with sick kids.

I went to school sick a _lot_ as a child, because if my mom didn't work, she didn't get paid.  When I was older I"d stay home alone, but only if I was actively throwing up - otherwise, we went to school.

yeah, I'd like to add to this... My company has a great Time Off, but a horrible 'occurrence' policy for taking any days off tha are not pre-scheduled. So, calling in b/c my kid is sick could end up with me on disciplinary action, or even being fired (I have a co-worker this actually happened to). Doctor's notes will not excuse an unscheduled absence. It's also not an instance of *needing* to have certain coverage. On my team of 13 people, 5 people can have off on any given day. But even if I am the *only* person who ends up being off that day, it is an occurrence b/c it was not previously scheduled. And I go to work sick for the same reason. I'll pretty much only call in sick if  literally cannot pull myself out of bed.

so.... sometimes my kids go to school (or an after shcool activity) sick just b/c I can't take the time off work. Also... I can't tell from your description exactly how sick Sally was feeling. I've been known to send my kids somewhere when they weren't feeling well b/c they are great at exagerating how bad they feel untilit's time for school to let out and then they feel *GREAT!* And most of the time, they weren't FAKING. They really di have a headache or a tummy ache, or a stuffy nose, etc... but they need to learn that the world doesn't stop just b/c you feel a little under the weather, and sometimes you just need to suck it up and stick it out. If I haven't seen for myself that my kids are REALLY not feeling good, I'll usually send them to school and tell them to call me if they can't make it through the day. I'd say of all the times I have done that, I end up getting called to pick them up maybe 5% of the time.
TTFN!
Trina



platys

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 740
Re: Why Do They Do This? (Bit of a Vent)
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2006, 12:11:45 PM »
Well, sadly, a lot of working parents often don't have a lot of choices if they are sick.

Or if their kids are sick, you mean?  I'm sure that's true.  In the case of Sally, though, her session occurred between 5:00 and 6:30 in the evening, and her mom brought her to the center personally (I saw her).  I also happened to know that she is home temporarily with a new baby.  It seems to me that she could have stayed home with Sally if she'd chosen to; the way Sally described it, it sounded like her mom was angry with her for getting herself suspended and told her, in effect, "You're going to your session today, whether you feel well enough to or not."

It's possible that the mom didn't realize just how sick Sally was, and really just needed a time out from Sally.    Plus, if she has a new baby, she probably has enough stress going on without Sally acting up at school, and then going "ooooh I'm so sick".   I remember as a kid telling my mom that I was sick, her being impatient and going "oh, you aren't sick" and then I promptly threw up at her feet.

NEDESAPIO

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1923
Re: Why Do They Do This? (Bit of a Vent)
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2006, 12:21:15 PM »
Also... I can't tell from your description exactly how sick Sally was feeling.

She told me she had the flu and had recently been to the doctor.  Although she looked bad and was coughing a lot, she did do her work, pay attention well until toward the end of the session.  Then, during the last 15 minutes her eyes started closing, she was putting her head down on the table and saying, "I feel like I'm dead."  She just could not work anymore, so I let her rest for the last minutes, before her mom came back to get her.