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Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 259993 times)

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kherbert05

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1485 on: August 24, 2015, 01:14:21 AM »
My second brother has always been very athletic, and has absolutely no sense of danger or fear.  He also has a ridiculously high tolerance for pain, not exactly the safest combination.  When he was about 4 he and dad were out in the backyard, and dad turned his back for about 30 seconds.  Next thing he knew Joey was calling to him from the top of the tallest tree in our yard, yelling "look, my hand is higher than the top of the tree!"  Dad was pretty panicked, but he didn't want to upset Joey, so he very calmly told him that was cool, but he needed to come down now, "and make sure he kept at least one hand on the tree at all times." Joey just stood there for a minute or two, looking back a forth from the tree to the ground to dad, and dad was starting to worry that he was going to have to climb up after him.  Then Joey hollered down to dad, "I'm sorry dad, but I really think I'm going to need to use both my hands to climb down."  Dad laughed so hard he nearly injured himself. 

When he was about 8 he broke his arm.  He didn't cry or scream at all.  In fact, after we grabbed him up and rushed him into the house and laid him down on the sofa, he started arguing that he was fine, and that he wanted to go back out and play.  Dad asked him if he could move his arm and he said sure, then looked down at his arm in surprise because it wasn't moving.  He said "I'll just use my other arm."  Of course that didn't fly, and he was taken to the doctor.  Who insisted that his arm was not broken, or he would be screaming in pain.  Mom had to demand an xray, and the doctor was shocked to see that it really was a rather bad break. 

Another time I came home from school to find him riding a razor board being pulled behind my first brother on the 4-wheeler.  Who turned rather suddenly, and sent Joey flying in a huge arc, landing in the middle of the neightbors front yard.  I freaked a little, because it honestly looked like they were going to kill themselves, and he said it was great fun, except the landing part.   ::)
Sounds like my Sister. The first time she broke a wrist she was 5 - it went an entire weekend untreated because no bruising, no swelling and sis could use it. The only thing she couldn't do was hold a pencil. Every single step of the way the medical people did not want to expose her to the xrays. It was broken. They put a metal brace under it and wrapped it with an ace bandage instead of a cast. 4 weeks later MOm is asking the doctor for another x-ray to prove it is healed. Doc says it needs 2 more weeks. Mom suggest he have some of those butterfly bandaids* ready for the head laceration and possible concussion she was going to be bringing me for. Sis was slapping me upside the head with the metal brace.


2nd time She was in University and had to argue all the way up the chain to get her wrist x-rayed this time they put one of those velco braces on it.


She tried to walk on a dislocated knee.


Fell of the high board over the concrete caught the railing/machanics climbed back up.


*When I was a toddler, I fell out of my crib. Got a nasty cut through my eyebrow from the bar shoes I was wearing. (Also broke my nose but we didn't know about that for 30 some years). I was rushed to the same doc - who used butterfly bandaids to close it. Technically it should have been a stitch or two - but both the pediatrician and pediatric dermatologist were afraid that the skin would just tear around the stitch because of my skin conditions.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Twik

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1486 on: August 24, 2015, 08:51:33 AM »
Teenager edition:

My oldest is 16.  He tries to be as normal as possible in spite of the bone disease he has. To that end, he hangs out in a local gym a lot, and occasionally spars with others, though not very seriously because of skeletal issues he has.  One of those issues is a bone tumor that's on the inside of one of his ribs, just above his heart.  If he were to fall just right or get hit in just the right spot, the complications could be severe, up to, and including death.

So last week he was goofing off at the gym, sparring with one of the guys.  Instead of protecting his face, his arm was down over the spot where the tumor on his ribs is located.  The buddy kept yelling "Hey, man, get your arms up!  Protect your face!"  My kid responds "No, man!  I gotta protect the off switch." 

(While it's a serious issue, I'm glad the kid has a sense of humor about it.  Life trials are always easier to manage if you can find something to laugh at.)

He's clever!
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

turtleIScream

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1487 on: August 24, 2015, 09:09:27 AM »
My 5 year old son was watching cartoons, and I response to something in the show exclaimed, "What?!  A mini cement mixer with cheese?! That is sooo 1980s!"
Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not. - Uncle Iroh

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1488 on: August 24, 2015, 09:14:14 AM »
Butterfly bandages are as good as stitches, in a lot of cases, especially when the skin is fragile.

My Dad was a teacher and the designated first aider for his school.  My Mom was a nurse but she freaked out when it was one of us needing help so Dad did all the first aid at home, too.

A kid fell in the playground and cut open his forehead.  The yard duty teacher brought him to my Dad to patch up while they called his mother.  Dad pulled out his jack knife and opened up the scissors and made butterfly bandages to put on the kid.  His Mom arrived to take him to the hospital for stitches.  On the ride there, the kid regaled his mother of the story of Mr. Smith using his MacGyver knife to fix him up.  Mom was mystified.  So after the trip to ER where the Doc said he couldn't do any better with stitches and to just leave the bandages, Mom had to come back and talk to Dad.

This was the 80's - can you tell?  (For those that don't know, MacGyver was a show in the late 70's, early 80's staring Richard Dean Anderson.  He fixed absolutely everything with his Swiss Army (jack) knife, baling wire and bubble gum.   ;) )
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1489 on: August 24, 2015, 10:32:49 AM »
A friend was telling me that her parents had taken her two children to a National Trust property here in the U.K.  The children were following a treasure trail around the house, ticking off objects as they found them.  Her 8 year old daughter had one unfound article on her list; she couldn't find 'the butler's panties' anywhere... Apparently nothing would convince her that she was actually looking for the butler's pantry!

crella

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1490 on: August 24, 2015, 04:59:40 PM »
Oh my!  :D


My 4-year-old granddaughter is mainly a Japanese speaker although she is learning some English. She loves the Disney princesses and can rattle them all off while holding up either the dolls ( the three that she has) or a coloring book, with the exception of one, Rapunzel. it just seems really hard for her to pronounce...she's been dubbed 'Bazunteru'. it kills me every time, although I've gotten really good at not cracking up when she says it.

snowfire

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1491 on: August 25, 2015, 12:43:09 PM »
Even adult children can have their moments.  A friend of my Mom was telling about her son calling her the other day: "Mom, since you don't use your bathtub, can I thaw a pig in there???"

After a "Whaaaat???" moment, he explained.  He was planning to roast a whole pig in a pit, Hawaiian style, for a family party that they were having at her house.  He knew she didn't use the bathtub, only the shower, and he thought that the tub would be a perfect place to thaw out the frozen solid Porky that he had purchased.  What he had not considered were the logistics of getting said frozen porker into the house, across the new carpet, down the hall to the tub and how to get the thawed pig back out again without dripping raw pig juice all over the floor.  I think Porky weighed around 100 pounds and would not have been easy to handle in either state. 

The answer to the question was Oh, heck no!  I think Porky got thawed in a horse trough out on the porch with ice.

TootsNYC

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1492 on: August 25, 2015, 12:53:19 PM »
He knew she didn't use the bathtub, only the shower, and he thought that the tub would be a perfect place to thaw out the frozen solid Porky that he had purchased.  What he had not considered were the logistics of getting said frozen porker into the house, across the new carpet, down the hall to the tub and how to get the thawed pig back out again without dripping raw pig juice all over the floor.  I think Porky weighed around 100 pounds and would not have been easy to handle in either state. 


a big rubber trash can?
Though I suppose you could just thaw it in the trash can, if you were going that route.

Elfmama

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1493 on: August 25, 2015, 01:36:51 PM »
He knew she didn't use the bathtub, only the shower, and he thought that the tub would be a perfect place to thaw out the frozen solid Porky that he had purchased.  What he had not considered were the logistics of getting said frozen porker into the house, across the new carpet, down the hall to the tub and how to get the thawed pig back out again without dripping raw pig juice all over the floor.  I think Porky weighed around 100 pounds and would not have been easy to handle in either state. 


a big rubber trash can?
Though I suppose you could just thaw it in the trash can, if you were going that route.
Duck tape and contractor bags.  Make them into a temporary body bag.

When Elfqueen and her DH got married, their pig was thawed in a plastic wading pool on my back porch.
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ladyknight1

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1494 on: August 27, 2015, 07:01:31 AM »
Last night, DS (17) was talking about a female friend of his and how one of his friends asked if they were dating, which he mentioned she had a boyfriend. I asked him later if he was dating.

"I'm a single Pringle, ready to mingle".

I was speechless! Then I laughed.  ;D

mmswm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1495 on: August 27, 2015, 11:19:29 AM »
We are just finishing up breakfast. Today is BF's birthday. 14 year old says "I think everybody should start their birthday with a bowl of Life. It just makes sense." 

Just in case it's only a U.S. Brand, Life is a cold cereal.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

turtleIScream

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1496 on: August 27, 2015, 11:35:42 AM »
We are just finishing up breakfast. Today is BF's birthday. 14 year old says "I think everybody should start their birthday with a bowl of Life. It just makes sense." 

Just in case it's only a U.S. Brand, Life is a cold cereal.

Ha ha! And it seems I was celebrating your bf's birthday, as I had Cinnamon Life for breakfast this morning.
Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not. - Uncle Iroh

gramma dishes

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1497 on: August 27, 2015, 11:43:12 AM »
We are just finishing up breakfast. Today is BF's birthday. 14 year old says "I think everybody should start their birthday with a bowl of Life. It just makes sense." 

Just in case it's only a U.S. Brand, Life is a cold cereal.

Ha ha! And it seems I was celebrating your bf's birthday, as I had Cinnamon Life for breakfast this morning.

So you spice up your Life!   ;)