Author Topic: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't  (Read 161231 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #225 on: September 19, 2010, 11:39:57 PM »
From The Music Man..

Balzac

LMAO!!!!!!!  I always laugh at that one, especially the way Mrs. Shin in the 62 movie says it.   "Balzac!"

I haven't even finished whole thread yet, but so many times I've had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard. 

Here's one. The university center at the college I attended had a game room upstairs with 3 pool tables and of course pool is just full of openings for double entendres.    Well one semester I didn't have any classes on Fridays so I'd usually get together with two guy friends to play cutthroat pool.  Basically we'd divvy up the balls and then the winner was the one who still had balls on the table.  (Sounds dirty just describing it!) 

So okay, to be honest I'm not the best pool player but this time I won and very happily pointed out that it was because Paul and Dave were too busy trying to get each other's balls into the pockets.    Then I turned beet red and all 3 of us started laughing so hard we had to sit on the ground.    Good times. :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #226 on: September 20, 2010, 12:04:55 AM »
This is more of something that LOOKS dirty but isn't. 

We have a Wii, as does a couple we're friends with that we knew in college.  They have a bunch of party games, and one they were telling me about, you are competing against the others to inflate a balloon(?) and you have to shake the remote up and down quickly.   Well DH and the other couple were playing it and the wife threw up her hands and said "I give up!! You two have an unfair advantage!"

When we got our Wii, DH bought the Tiger Woods golf game and in order to put spin on the ball after you hit it, you have to shake it up and down vigorously while holding down one of the direction buttons.   My inner 12 year old ALWAYS giggles when DH is putting spin on the ball. :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

PaintingPastelPrincess

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #227 on: September 20, 2010, 12:59:18 AM »
This is more of something that LOOKS dirty but isn't. 

We have a Wii, as does a couple we're friends with that we knew in college.  They have a bunch of party games, and one they were telling me about, you are competing against the others to inflate a balloon(?) and you have to shake the remote up and down quickly.   Well DH and the other couple were playing it and the wife threw up her hands and said "I give up!! You two have an unfair advantage!"

When we got our Wii, DH bought the Tiger Woods golf game and in order to put spin on the ball after you hit it, you have to shake it up and down vigorously while holding down one of the direction buttons.   My inner 12 year old ALWAYS giggles when DH is putting spin on the ball. :)

Yeah...the Wii has all sorts of opportunities for obscene gestures.   ;D

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #228 on: September 20, 2010, 11:07:10 AM »
I was giggling as I fell asleep last night remembering this list, especially the first line.  Things that sound dirty in Star Wars, but aren't.

* "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
* "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
* "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
* "You've got something jammed in here real good."
* "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
* "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
* "Sorry about the mess..."
* "Look at the size of that thing!"
* "Curse my metal body, I wasn"t fast enough!"
* "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
* "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
* "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
* "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
* "That"s okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
* "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
* "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"
* "It's possible he came in through the south entrance."
* "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
* "Control, control! You must learn control!"
* "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
* "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
* "I never knew I had it in me."
* "There is good in him, I've felt it."
* "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
* "Back door, huh? Good idea!"
* "She's gonna blow!"
* "I think you"ll fit in nicely."
* "Rise, my friend."
* "I'm sure he wasn't on that thing when it blew..."
* "Wedge! Pull out! You"re not doing any good back there!"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

HeebyJeebyLeebee

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #229 on: September 20, 2010, 12:21:44 PM »
Oh Piratelvr, you're a sick, twisted, drrty cookie.  Wanna hang out?   >:D
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #230 on: September 20, 2010, 03:05:42 PM »
Oh Piratelvr, you're a sick, twisted, drrty cookie.  Wanna hang out?   >:D

BWAHAHAHAAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!   Oh you have NO idea. :) :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

hermanne

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #231 on: September 20, 2010, 03:07:36 PM »
I will never watch Star Wars the same way again.
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White Dragon

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #232 on: September 20, 2010, 03:18:22 PM »
Oh Piratelvr, you're a sick, twisted, drrty cookie.  Wanna hang out?   >:D

BWAHAHAHAAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!   Oh you have NO idea. :) :)

Hard to explain to my coworkers why I am sitting here gurgling and trying not to snort my lunch!!!!!

Suddenly, those double-ended light sabres just won't look the same, kwim?

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #233 on: September 20, 2010, 03:25:17 PM »
OK, I just clapped my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

Move over, girls.  I'm sure this gutter is big enough for all of us.   ;D
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #234 on: September 20, 2010, 03:53:47 PM »
I couldn't copy and paste these so here's a link.  http://www.joke-archives.com/seasonal/halloweenthingsthatsounddirty.html

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

CherryRipe

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #235 on: September 22, 2010, 11:29:21 PM »
Last week, I went on a picnic with my housemates.  We drove to the top of a nearby mountain (I wanted to hike, but Rayanne doesn't do well with hills), and we had a barbecue--steaks, chicken, sausage, and hot dogs for the carnivorous members of the house, and veggie dogs for the vegetarians.  However, Adam had a peculiar habit of eating hot dogs/sausages by themselves--as in, without a bun.  At this, I retorted, "Adam doesn't want to put his wiener in a bun!!!"  Juvenile, yes, but it brought the house down.....we'd been making phallic jokes about the wieners and sausages all afternoon long. 

Jolie_kitten

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #236 on: September 23, 2010, 02:37:43 AM »
Slashdot article today: palaeontologists uncover the remains of a dinosaur with a lot of big horns on its skull; and how does Slashdot phrase the title?-"Paleontologists-Discover-Worlds-Horniest-Dinosaur" http://science.slashdot.org/story/10/09/22/226247/Paleontologists-Discover-Worlds-Horniest-Dinosaur?from=rss :)))))
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #237 on: September 23, 2010, 08:56:57 AM »
"Green Eggs & Ham" sounds very dirty if you read it in the right frame of mind.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Giggity

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #238 on: September 24, 2010, 05:35:04 PM »
A FB friend just posted a quote from her son's history book:  "Instead, Hudson found an area containing friendly Indians and plenty of beaver."

EPIC! I cannot stop laughing and my stomach hurts.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't
« Reply #239 on: September 28, 2010, 04:28:05 PM »
Sometimes I wonder about the mind behind the name for a certain brand of insect repellant.

I always get a case of the giggles and a naughty eyebrow wiggle from DH when I say I have to get OFF at the store.   
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata