Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[Irk Splee]

There's a series of Nintendo games called Mario Party, which are made up of a bunch of short minigames played for points. Mario Party 8 is the only one on the Wii so far, and it makes good use of the system's motion controls. One game on MP8 that I don't think was thought all the way through involves shaking a soda can as fast as you can in order to make your can spray further than your opponents' cans. How do you make your character shake the can? By shaking the Wiimote up and down, of course!

Go get a Wiimote, shake it up and down, and you tell me what that looks like. I'll wait.

Made even worse when the objective involves spraying...

I was playing the game with three other people when that minigame popped up. Don't know whose presence made it more awkward; my mother, my boyfriend, or my nine-year-old brother. XD

[Jess13]

There's a series of Nintendo games called Mario Party, which are made up of a bunch of short minigames played for points. Mario Party 8 is the only one on the Wii so far, and it makes good use of the system's motion controls. One game on MP8 that I don't think was thought all the way through involves shaking a soda can as fast as you can in order to make your can spray further than your opponents' cans. How do you make your character shake the can? By shaking the Wiimote up and down, of course!

Go get a Wiimote, shake it up and down, and you tell me what that looks like. I'll wait.

Made even worse when the objective involves spraying...

I was playing the game with three other people when that minigame popped up. Don't know whose presence made it more awkward; my mother, my boyfriend, or my nine-year-old brother. XD

Both my DH and my 11 yr old DS make fun of this mini-game for this exact reason. First time I saw it I about died laughing!

[Sirius]

There are some sounds that, unless you are in the room watching a show, will sound completely wrong.

Case in point.  Yesterday DH is watching Star Trek while I'm making dinner, and I don't remember the name of the episode, but it's the one where Picard is in charge of kids in an elevator shaft while Wharf is stuck having to deliver Keiko's baby.  Which of course was highly amusing.

Well I'm in the kitchen when Keiko's having contractions and let's just say the sounds she makes while in labor sounded more like the sounds a woman would make while making the baby rather than when she's delivering it.  I jokingly called into the living room "That doesn't sound right!" DH laughed and said back "It's not what you think, Keiko's in labor!"

Love that, especially the part where Warf says, "This is not a good time!"

[Piratelvr1121]

There's a series of Nintendo games called Mario Party, which are made up of a bunch of short minigames played for points. Mario Party 8 is the only one on the Wii so far, and it makes good use of the system's motion controls. One game on MP8 that I don't think was thought all the way through involves shaking a soda can as fast as you can in order to make your can spray further than your opponents' cans. How do you make your character shake the can? By shaking the Wiimote up and down, of course!

Go get a Wiimote, shake it up and down, and you tell me what that looks like. I'll wait.

Made even worse when the objective involves spraying...

I was playing the game with three other people when that minigame popped up. Don't know whose presence made it more awkward; my mother, my boyfriend, or my nine-year-old brother. XD

A couple we're friends with have that game and they told me that the 3 of them (DH, the hubby and wife) were playing it and the wife was losing and eventually said "I give up, men have an advantage to this game!"

[PaintingPastelPrincess]

There's a series of Nintendo games called Mario Party, which are made up of a bunch of short minigames played for points. Mario Party 8 is the only one on the Wii so far, and it makes good use of the system's motion controls. One game on MP8 that I don't think was thought all the way through involves shaking a soda can as fast as you can in order to make your can spray further than your opponents' cans. How do you make your character shake the can? By shaking the Wiimote up and down, of course!

Go get a Wiimote, shake it up and down, and you tell me what that looks like. I'll wait.

Made even worse when the objective involves spraying...

I was playing the game with three other people when that minigame popped up. Don't know whose presence made it more awkward; my mother, my boyfriend, or my nine-year-old brother. XD

A couple we're friends with have that game and they told me that the 3 of them (DH, the hubby and wife) were playing it and the wife was losing and eventually said "I give up, men have an advantage to this game!"

That's how I feel about it! My best male friend and my fiance are both really good at it; my best female friend and I are terrible at it. 

[Thipu1]

It's almost like a rite of passage, the first time a teenager learns the word masticate.

In the same vein, the word macerate sounds really dirty.

I remember a former Governor of NYS being roasted.  Terms like this were going all over the place.  His sister was a noted actress and his son was going to college. 

No big deal but it sounds horrible when a pseudo-orator declares that, 'His sister is an avowed thespian and his son is on record as having matriculated at X University!'

I don't believe that anyone has yet mentioned the 'rubber husband'.

This is a disc of rubber or soft plastic with a textured surface.  It's a simple kitchen gadget that helps loosen tight jar tops.  Sometimes, these things are given away as a promotional item.  Then, they're
usually called a 'round tuit'.  The joke is that we all say we're going to do something when we 'get around to it.'

[supernova]

Fascinated by the "rubber husband!"

I've always heard "husband" or "spare husband" as a term referring to that awesome pillow with the little snuggly arms on each side that lets you sit up in bed and read.

My husband is soft and squishy, and covered in lavender fur.   

ETA: 



A picture is worth 1,000 words 

[Petticoats]

Recently a topic as dry as page numbering yielded some impressively dirty-sounding discussion.

I emailed my editorial director to ask about using roman versus arabic numerals for the introductory secion of my then-current book:

Me (after some technical stuff): So would it be safe for me to slap some roman down in there? (That came out kind of nasty sounding.)

She (after some technical stuff): ...we always slap some roman down in there. At least, I’ve always slapped some roman down in mine. Though never in the backmatter. (See what you’ve started??)

Me: Yep, sometimes a girl has to slap whoever’s roamin’ in her frontmatter.

We amuse ourselves so.

[violinp]

Recently a topic as dry as page numbering yielded some impressively dirty-sounding discussion.

I emailed my editorial director to ask about using roman versus arabic numerals for the introductory secion of my then-current book:

Me (after some technical stuff): So would it be safe for me to slap some roman down in there? (That came out kind of nasty sounding.)

She (after some technical stuff): ...we always slap some roman down in there. At least, I’ve always slapped some roman down in mine. Though never in the backmatter. (See what you’ve started??)

Me: Yep, sometimes a girl has to slap whoever’s roamin’ in her frontmatter.

We amuse ourselves so.

*sporfle*

[leafeater]

My husband sent me to the 7-11 for a particular variety of cashews.

I warned him, "I'm not sure I'll be able to find your nuts."

[baglady]

Fascinated by the "rubber husband!"

I've always heard "husband" or "spare husband" as a term referring to that awesome pillow with the little snuggly arms on each side that lets you sit up in bed and read.

My husband is soft and squishy, and covered in lavender fur.   

ETA: 



A picture is worth 1,000 words 

I need a new husband. My last one had fleas and had to be thrown out.

My boyfriend lets me borrow his husband when I'm at his house. ;-)

[Outdoor Girl]

I went to a charity store yesterday and they had all those bodice-rippers on sale for...69c. I giggled and walked away.

Took me a second but that is AWESOME.

(And since I like a little escapist reading once in a while, I might not have walked away.   )

[Fleur-de-Lis]

"Communications with co-counsel re briefs." 

Somehow, if that meant what it might mean, I really don't want to know. 

Of course, it really means just discussing *pleadings* - let's not go there -

Court documents which have been filed.

I am now officially punchy. 

[Ms_Cellany]

I remember a former Governor of NYS being roasted.  Terms like this were going all over the place.  His sister was a noted actress and his son was going to college. 

No big deal but it sounds horrible when a pseudo-orator declares that, 'His sister is an avowed thespian and his son is on record as having matriculated at X University!'

I remember that as being from Mad Magazine, many years ago - the Slander-Proof Campaign Speech.

[baglady]

Don't forget that the candidate is also a proud homo sapiens!

I once saw a T-shirt on a college student advertising her school's drama program. It said, "We're thespians. Wanna watch?"