A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Humor Me!

Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

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nuit93:

--- Quote from: CakeBeret on December 06, 2012, 05:39:32 PM ---"I gave [boss man] herpes."

It's not dirty, I swear.

We always send out company Christmas cards, and this year's cards have glitter. Glitter is often called "the herpes of the craft world", which is a phrase that makes me giggle. So when I handed Boss Man the stack of Christmas cards (and made sure some of the glitter got on him) I meant to say something witty, but it came out as "I gave [boss man] herpes." Hilarity ensued.

--- End quote ---

I've often referred to glitter as "raver herpes".

wonderfullyanonymous:

--- Quote from: LadyClaire on December 17, 2012, 03:05:00 PM ---
--- Quote from: JoW on December 16, 2012, 12:47:09 PM ---I use to work with a man from China.  In his culture its family name first, given name last.  So his name tag and his phone listing were FamilyName GivenName.  And by reading that most people would have called him by his family name.  Which was Hung. 

The one thing you cannot call a man is Hung.  Most of us called him by his full name.  His close associates called him by his given name, which was his last name.

--- End quote ---

At the uni I work for, we have a lot of asian students. We have a Hung and a Dong.

--- End quote ---


This reminded me of a story my photo asst manager told me...

The dept manager went up to the front counter to help a customer. A few minutes later, she comes back to the back of the lab with tears streaming down her face. Thinking the customer said something nasty, he went up to find out what was going on.

He finds out dept manager is not crying, but laughing so hard she has tears rolling down her face. The customers  name was Harry Ho.

Lillie82:
A friend from college that I keep in touch with by email once typed to me that something had "worked out for the bed" instead of "for the best."

The reason I thought it was vaguely, well, Freudian, was that she was newly married and was talking about how it was "for the best" that she didn't have a dog at the moment because her husband wasn't such a dog person. So I immediately thought maybe he preferred not to have a dog in bed with them, just after they were married.

greencat:
I'm not entirely sure that they aren't intentional, but a game I play on my phone that is made by Disney (but isn't themed with any of the iconic Disney properties) has several inadvertent innuendos.  Theoretically inadvertent anyway.  One of the messages, appearing on a "Tool Shed" building, says, "Gnomes have surprisingly big tools."

twiggy:
DH and BIL play lots of online RPGs, and their latest is a game called DOTA. While playing, they have skype open so that they can coordinate their attacks/strategy. Tonight, while they were playing, I heard the following exchange:

"Hey Bro, can you use my hand?"
"What? No. Your hand won't do anything for me. Just jump inside me."
"I can't jump in you right now, I'm still cooling down"
"Aaargh. Well, lets just go and gank that group over here....."

Later I heard:

"Fine, next game we'll switch and I'll jump in you."

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