A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Humor Me!

Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

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Moonie:
When my brother and sister were young, my sister had one of those hair holders that was a leather piece that had a stick that went through each end to hold the hair . (Think early70's). Mom and I were in the living room when the following was heard:

Sis: "STOP IT!!  STOP IT!!! GET MY THING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!! MOOOOOOM, HE WON"T GIVE ME BACK MY THING!!! GIVE ME MY THING!!!! STOP SUCKING ON IT!!!"

Mom and I were crying with laughter and had to hold onto each other to keep from falling off the sofa.

Another recent one was a friend of mine posted on Facebook a picture of a church she took on vacation. The church was painted pink, and she tagged a friend of hers who I assumed really liked that color. Her friend commented, "That's so pretty. I wonder if it's pink on the inside, too."  I couldn't help myself. I commented, "That's what he said."   It was just sitting there waiting for me...what else could I do?

jayhawk:
I was checking out at the grocery store earlier where I had picked up a roast and a brisket. I bring my own bags, so the young man checking asked if I wanted my meat wrapped in plastic [bag]. I didn't think anything of it until he quietly turned to the kid sacking and said, "Remind me to tell you what another customer said when I asked him that."

I was  ??? Then  :o then  >:D

Mental Magpie:
"Where do you want this?  It's kind of big.  In your trunk?"

I met my coworker in the parking lot at work to pick up the computer and monitor he sold me.  He had the monitor and a few other things in a large box.  I couldn't answer him I was laughing so hard.

whatsanenigma:

--- Quote from: MizB on February 15, 2013, 02:22:06 PM ---When I was in high school I sang a duet with a friend of mine. The song was "Think of Me" from "The Phantom of the Opera." There is a point where I was finishing a line and he came in with "you've really changed your really not a bit the gawkish girl that once you were,"

No matter how enunciated the word bit always ended up rhyming with witch.

--- End quote ---

That reminds me of a production of "Dracula" we did when I was in high school.

At several points in this play, one character or another says "The horror! The horror!"

Midwestern American kids plus bad fake British accents equals my friends and I holding our hands over our mouths backstage and pointing at each other.

wonderfullyanonymous:
I walk into the lounge at work yesterday, to hear his from one of 2 associates at a table...


"I like mine good and hard."

I turned and looked at them and said "Well, I guess I walked in on the wrong part of that conversation." and watched to see if she would realize what she said.

Yup, she sure did, by turning a brilliant shade of red, and exclaiming they were talking about peeps.

 

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