Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[Silversurfer]

Slightly off topic. This one could be more a foot in mouth disease, but it sounded rather dirty.

In year 12 on of our teachers Mr Doherty was teaching girls touch rugby. At an assembly one of the school captains (in year 12) got up to read some announcements. He said "Mr Doherty wants to touch girls at lunchtime." He went red and stammered a bit!

Was meant to be "Mr Doherty wants to meet/ have a meeting with all the touch rugby girls at lunchtime.

[2littlemonkeys]

One of my friends was planning a wedding.  One day, we were talking and she asked me if I happened to get her STD.

Loooong pause.

"SAVE THE DATE!  SAVE THE DATE!  Sorry!  I'm just so used to abbreviating it!"

My DH prefers an orange powdered drink that has an unfortunate name.  I turn into a 12 year old boy every time he asks me to buy the big can at Sam's.  "Boy, they have EVERYTHING."

[Hushabye]

We were ordering pizza in the dorm one night my freshman year of college.  Someone asked what kind of toppings everyone liked.

I sang out, "I like the sausage!!"

[Luci45]

Not dirty, but very personal:

Does PSA stand for
         Prostate Specific Antigen
                    Or
        Public Service Announcement

              ?

[HeebyJeebyLeebee]

Not dirty, but very personal:

Does PSA stand for
         Prostate Specific Antigen
                    Or
        Public Service Announcement

              ?

Depends on the context.  Same with SOB - in the medical field, it means "Shortness of Breath"; as an insult it's "Son of a Female Dog"

[Slartibartfast]

Duke University has a G*a*y Love auditorium - in the Gross Chemistry building.  (It's actually the "G*a*y and Erskine Love" auditorium, but poor Erskine is always left out!)

[Tashigi]

Not dirty, but very personal:

Does PSA stand for
         Prostate Specific Antigen
                    Or
        Public Service Announcement

              ?

Depends on the context.  Same with SOB - in the medical field, it means "Shortness of Breath"; as an insult it's "Son of a Female Dog"

I can only wonder at the jokes the medical professionals make with that particular abbreviation.

[Slartibartfast]

Not dirty, but very personal:

Does PSA stand for
         Prostate Specific Antigen
                    Or
        Public Service Announcement

              ?

Depends on the context.  Same with SOB - in the medical field, it means "Shortness of Breath"; as an insult it's "Son of a Female Dog"

I can only wonder at the jokes the medical professionals make with that particular abbreviation.

Actually, at my father's clinic, they had one guy get really irate and start yelling because he noticed the nurse wrote that he's an S.O.B. on his chart.  She couldn't get the guy to understand that SOB is a medical abbreviation, not a colloquial one.  They now write SOB or HOH (hard of hearing) in much smaller letters.

[CosmicChicken42]

About 6 years ago I was in a group called Youth and Government.  Basically, you take over the state's capital for a day and run it like you would a government.  I decided last minute to run for a reporter position..which required a speech.  I had none planned so I decided to wing it.
I told over 500 people that I wanted to penetrate every area of the system followed by a deer caught in the headlights look. 
Needless to say, I WON!
...however, just last month someone ran up to me and yelled I know you, you are the penetrator!

[Jolie_kitten]

My college has a Research Center in Applied ethics, for which I volounteer. We have weekly meetings, when we present our work and projects. They are usually scheduled late-afternoon/evening so it happens that sometimes not all of us can stay until the end of the meeting.
Well, one of our projects is to design auto-training materials on ethical issues, that are to be used by people within a range of work environments. One day, two "auto-trainings" of this kind were to be presented: one about plagiarism in the academic world, and one about sexual harassment at the workplace. The one about plagiarism is presented, then a group of girls excuse themselves and walk out.
So our professor says: Girls, aren't you gonna stay for sexual harassment? 

[Giggity]

So our professor says: Girls, aren't you gonna stay for sexual harassment? 

"No way! Too many trainees. I only appreciate it when it's done by a professional." 

[Luci45]

Peacock. This is what I realized many years ago. Sigh, I just remembered while posting on another thread. Misspell the first syllable and use an alternate definition (not male avian) for the second syllable, and you have something way too graphic.

[vorbau]

My dad was at a botanical gardens in CA when a woman on the tour went ballistic on the tour guide, insisting he refer to male pea-birds as "pea roosters." She didn't want her children hearing "dirty words."

[Ender]

One of my best friends recently bought an organ. Literally, it's an old organ consisting of lots of pipes and equipment that takes up most of his house. He's repairing and fixing it up, and eventually he'll sell or donate it to a theater.

It will never not be funny to go over there and ask how his organ is doing. Bonus points if you ask him about softening the leather.  

[Punky B.]

My dad was at a botanical gardens in CA when a woman on the tour went ballistic on the tour guide, insisting he refer to male pea-birds as "pea roosters." She didn't want her children hearing "dirty words."

Better keep them away from the Cockatoos!