Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[violinp]

Conversation with DH as we drove home last night.

Him "So I spent the day teaching a contractor about head."
Me 
Him "It's all about how many inches you have."
 

Apparently, they were working on a water plant and were talking about how many inches of water to create a particular water pressure (or head...)

ROFL.

[Nikko-chan]

There is an online (?) university that advertises on cable TV.  Universal Technical Institute.  And yes, more that once in the commercial they talk about UTI.

I always point out that!  "Go to school to get an infection!"  I thought I was the only one that noticed...

All I can think is that they have no women on staff or associated with them in any way, or the ones they have are very lucky and have never had a urinary tract infection.

Okay now everytime I see that commercial I will think of this and burst out laughing. And get looked at like I am mad...

[Slartibartfast]

Stopped off at Sonic (a drive-in restaurant featuring burgers, hot dogs, shakes, etc.) with some friends last night.  I couldn't really see the menu board from where I was sitting in the car, so I figured I'd just order a hot dog and assume there was one on the menu.

Guy on the intercom: Do you want the six-inch or the footlong?
Me: Oh, twelve inches is too much.  Six inches is plenty!
Me, suddenly realizing what I had said: 
Everyone else in the car: Did you just tell him . . . 
Guy on the intercom, after a suspiciously long silence, and now with a female voice laughing in the background: So that's the six-inch hot dog, right?

Yeah, I got grief about that all night 

[Mental Magpie]

Stopped off at Sonic (a drive-in restaurant featuring burgers, hot dogs, shakes, etc.) with some friends last night.  I couldn't really see the menu board from where I was sitting in the car, so I figured I'd just order a hot dog and assume there was one on the menu.

Guy on the intercom: Do you want the six-inch or the footlong?
Me: Oh, twelve inches is too much.  Six inches is plenty!
Me, suddenly realizing what I had said: 
Everyone else in the car: Did you just tell him . . . 
Guy on the intercom, after a suspiciously long silence, and now with a female voice laughing in the background: So that's the six-inch hot dog, right?

Yeah, I got grief about that all night 

[Nikko-chan]

I always got a bag of taters.


I don't know why that sounds so dirty to me but it does!

[Julia Mercer]

This one really fits!

http://theworststuffever.com/post/16647427531/the-best-workout-device-ever

LOL!

[Mental Magpie]

This one really fits!

http://theworststuffever.com/post/16647427531/the-best-workout-device-ever

LOL!

I think this was done as a spoof of Shake Weight.

ETA:  That doesn't make it any less funny, though!  Dark Boyfriend and I laughed off our butts when we saw it.

[girlysprite]

There is a brand of car shampoo and/or carwax called super-glans here. But in my language, it just means 'super-shine'.

There is also a brand of tissues sold here with the brand name 'solo talent'. I'm not sure if that name is an accident though.

[Petticoats]

The other day a friend and I were talking about local slang or regional patterns of speech. I said something like, "It'll take me some time to wrap my tongue around the local patois."

There was a silence on the other end of the phone, during which I heard my sentence as it might have sounded to him. Then, at the same time, I said, "That kind of sounded--" and he said, "Wow, that really sounds--"

Yeah, I'm going to be careful using that phrasing from now on...

[Carotte]

The photography term bokeh, this is just when you play with focus and light, it gives really cool pictures, but somehow bokeh sounds dirty to me, like a scrabble related term

[White Dragon]

Me to DS " You need to keep your balls lower."

We were talking about a recent game of dodgeball where he accidently hit another player in the head with his throw.

[hermanne]

While driving around yesterday, DH and I were talking about where to go for lunch. Since the kids were in the truck with us, we adults were using "code" to discuss some fast-food places: "the royal place" for Burger King and "Peter Pan's girlfriend" for Wendy's.

DH said he'd "like to do Peter Pan's girlfriend." Yeah, my mind went there.

[Mental Magpie]

While driving around yesterday, DH and I were talking about where to go for lunch. Since the kids were in the truck with us, we adults were using "code" to discuss some fast-food places: "the royal place" for Burger King and "Peter Pan's girlfriend" for Wendy's.

DH said he'd "like to do Peter Pan's girlfriend." Yeah, my mind went there.

What a clever code!  Yeah, my mind went there, too 

[Mental Magpie]

"I'll just go over and lick on sister while she's sleeping."

Dark Boyfriend describing aloud the thoughts of Colossus, our one Akita, while he walked over and did just that to his sister, Banshee.

[vorbau]

Gardening yesterday, I pulled up some plants that have seeded my cottage garden and keep coming back, no matter how many I dig out. I don't like them, but my neighbor loves them, so I give them to her. She's packing to leave for a trip, so I figured I'd go ahead and plant them for her if she'd show me where.

"Hey, M? I have some more of those Susan thingies for you - they just keep coming and coming. Show me where you want it and I'll stick 'em in..."

We stood there laughing ourselves silly while her husband and the neighbor's cat looked mystified.