Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[Diane AKA Traska]

Next week I am going to see the musical theater show called, "The Best Little [House filled with women who get paid to play scrabble] in Texas."

And I realized that I have to be careful how I say that. How does that first sentence of my post sound if I take out "the musical theater show called"? Or worse, if I also take out the "see"? Or "in Texas"?

Or if I shorten the title down to "Best Little [House filled with women who get paid to play scrabble" and use that as shorthand, for example, in a daily planner?

Put it down as "Texas State Legislature" 

[ShanghaiJill]

Next week I am going to see the musical theater show called, "The Best Little [House filled with women who get paid to play scrabble] in Texas."

And I realized that I have to be careful how I say that. How does that first sentence of my post sound if I take out "the musical theater show called"? Or worse, if I also take out the "see"? Or "in Texas"?

Or if I shorten the title down to "Best Little [House filled with women who get paid to play scrabble" and use that as shorthand, for example, in a daily planner?

Before people had home computers, I worked for a ticket agency answering the phone.   That musical was playing at a local venue.   People would go out of their way to say "That Texas show."

I never corrected them.

[Lillie82]

Where does your mind go on reading this:

A month into their marriage, they had broken two bed frames? 

Actually, my poor brother and SIL are having a terrible experience with a furniture seller in their new hometown. (A story that could probably work for our Bad Business section on Ehell.) All one of them had to do was sit on the bed, and the frame broke. They replaced it. And it happened again. 

[readingchick]

Where does your mind go on reading this:

A month into their marriage, they had broken two bed frames? 

Actually, my poor brother and SIL are having a terrible experience with a furniture seller in their new hometown. (A story that could probably work for our Bad Business section on Ehell.) All one of them had to do was sit on the bed, and the frame broke. They replaced it. And it happened again. 

LOL definitely in the gutter

[ladyknight1]

I have a friend who thinks "matriculate" sounds dirty.

I can't tell him when I graduate in 2015, because I am married.

[wonderfullyanonymous]

A coworker is moving and came up to me as she was leaving and asked me to check her boxes. I just looked at her and she told me not to say anything, she could see it on my face.

I said, "Wouldn't Tony be a better option for that?"

[Sirius]

Came across this on a list of molecules with strange names: 

Cummingtonight

This mineral was found in Cummington, Massachusetts, hence its name; also known (less scandalously) as magnesium iron silicate hydroxide.

Edited to add:  My mind must have been in the gutter when I originally typed this.  The actual name of this molecule is Cummingtonite.

[greencat]

Came across this on a list of molecules with strange names: 

Cummingtonight

This mineral was found in Cummington, Massachusetts, hence its name; also known (less scandalously) as magnesium iron silicate hydroxide.

Edited to add:  My mind must have been in the gutter when I originally typed this.  The actual name of this molecule is Cummingtonite.

My brain tried to autocorrect your original error to the proper suffix for mineral compounds!  I think that belongs in the Nerdhood thread...

[lilfox]

Came across this on a list of molecules with strange names: 

Cummingtonight

This mineral was found in Cummington, Massachusetts, hence its name; also known (less scandalously) as magnesium iron silicate hydroxide.

Edited to add:  My mind must have been in the gutter when I originally typed this.  The actual name of this molecule is Cummingtonite.

My brain tried to autocorrect your original error to the proper suffix for mineral compounds!  I think that belongs in the Nerdhood thread...

You and me both!   

I were preparing corn for the grill - peeling down the husk, adding butter, then wrapping the corn back into the husk and tying the ends closed.  DH came over to help and said he'd take over tying them while I finished with the butter.  There may have been a joke about "corn bondage" but I admit that was intentionally naughty.

[Lillie82]

"He has never disappointed me, even when he's been exhausted." 

Said by my friend about the political personality / candidate whose speaking event we were organizing, in response to my question about how many speeches he could give one after the other before burning out.

Or maybe I just heard it that way because I knew she (friend) has a huge 'thing' for him.

[greencat]

My friend is a nurse, and yesterday he said to me "My patient needs new balls."

Apparently the patient uses a walker that needs new tennis balls on the feet...

[Julia Mercer]

Saw this ad on Kijiji, and thought of this thread!


Chicage & Boobie brothers tickets

Sounds titillating doesn't it?

[wx4caster]

Had a bit of a giggle at a banner ad tonight.

``Hi! My name is New Brunswick!

Come and explore my Bay of Fundy!``

lol!  I see the billboard version on my way into work and it includes the phrase  "Google me" at the bottom.

[CrochetFanatic]

Uvula and Ululate.

Also, does anyone remember the infomercial about a seat-belt product known as the "Tiddy Bear"?

[purplemuse]

BG: I've been playing a video game where your character is a ghost who travels around various scenes by hopping from one inanimate object to the next. In one scene, there's a wide area with no available objects, so to cross it, you have to jump to a police officer's baton and have him walk you to the next object.

Getting frustrated with how long it was taking the officer in question to come back across the screen, I offered a little verbal encouragement:

"Come over here, Mr. Man; I need to ride on your nightstick!"