Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[Slartibartfast]

Friend: " . . . so you know my friend Janet, right?"

Me: "Uh, I don't think so?"

Friend: "I thought you met her at Dragon*Con last year."

Me: "Oh, yeah!  I slept with her!"


(My sister and I had our friend-of-a-friend roommates - whom we had never met - flake out on us when we got there, so we were left with nowhere to sleep in the middle of a very busy science fiction convention.  I was lamenting this to my friend, and his friend Janet happened to be there, and she let us stay with her overnight!  Her husband wasn't getting to the convention until the following day, so she had the room to herself.  Since there was only one bed, I did end up "sleeping with" her and my sister took the armchair.  My sister's boyfriend was kind enough to let us crash in his room for the rest of the convention, and I didn't see Janet again after that first night.  She was definitely really nice, though!  And - as a footnote - I already got my room for next year's convention so I won't have to rely on friends-of-friends-of-friends not being flaky!)

DH did find it funny when I called home and told him I had been at the convention less than 24 hours and had already slept with a strange woman 

[baglady]

In college, I shared my student post office box with a student from the class of '73. I was class of '80, so the '73s would have long since graduated, but this guy had taken some time off -- he had come back after academic suspension or an extended illness or something. At my school, your class year was determined by when you matriculated, not when you graduated, so you could be a '73 but graduate in '78 or whenever.

Sophomore year (1978) during a party weekend, this fellow a little too old to be in college passed through our (coed) fraternity house. Someone inquired about him, and someone else explained that he was a '72 who had been on academic suspension but had just been readmitted.

Me: "Oh, I share my box with someone like that!"

My older male brothers crack up laughing. This was how I learned the other meaning of "box."

[oz diva]

Not to worry, I topped that foible on the same day. I ordered  UV protective 'skins' (essentially long-sleeved,cool protective t-shirts for the summer months) for our foremen. I was already embarrassed, and a bit groggy (wisdom teeth pain, took some pain killers and they always hit me pretty hard)...Anyway, I mixed up the words..Foreman, skins, I'll leave you to imagine what I said to create possibly THE most embarrassing moment of my life. 

Sounds like an old joke
How do you circumcise a whale?
Send down four skindivers.

[MizA]

We recently put up a 32-foor geodesic dome.  With four strong men and their impact drivers.  I giggled the whoooooole time.

[jayhawk]

I started scrapbooking about 16 years ago with my BFF (yes, we're now 53, but still BFF's, even though that sounds so High School).  At any rate, we spend more time laughing than actually scrapbooking, especially every time she picks up her personal trimmer.  It's actually just a little paper cutter, but she always puts a different spin it, shall we say.

[White Dragon]

Our dog gets bored and starts tossing her toys in the air, stepping in her tug toy to wrestle with it etc.

One night she was quite loud and I looked over at her and said grumpily' "Zoe, are you playing with yourself again? You need to be more quiet when you do that!"

I have since rephrased that...

[violinp]

We're rehearsing Messiah in church choir right now, and parts of the songs (like the really difficult runs) we sing each note on "Ta." So it goes Ta-ta-ta-ta...  I think you get the picture.

[baglady]

We're rehearsing Messiah in church choir right now, and parts of the songs (like the really difficult runs) we sing each note on "Ta." So it goes Ta-ta-ta-ta...  I think you get the picture.

Aw, c'mon. Everybody knows the truly dirty part of the Messiah is "All We Like Sheep."

[violinp]

We're rehearsing Messiah in church choir right now, and parts of the songs (like the really difficult runs) we sing each note on "Ta." So it goes Ta-ta-ta-ta...  I think you get the picture.

Aw, c'mon. Everybody knows the truly dirty part of the Messiah is "All We Like Sheep."

We're only doing the Christmas part + Hallelujah chorus. Darn. 

[Gyburc]

We're rehearsing Messiah in church choir right now, and parts of the songs (like the really difficult runs) we sing each note on "Ta." So it goes Ta-ta-ta-ta...  I think you get the picture.

Aw, c'mon. Everybody knows the truly dirty part of the Messiah is "All We Like Sheep."

We're only doing the Christmas part + Hallelujah chorus. Darn. 

The choir my mother and I were in used to sing Messiah regularly. Mum used to wander round the house from time to time singing 'All We Like Sheep - Especially With Mint-Sauce'.

 

[Julia Mercer]

I was hanging out with DH and DSis one day, and wearing a dress that has decorative ties on the back that came undone, so when I had gotten out of our van somewhere and discovered this, I innocently asked DSis (who is lesbian), J, will you tie me up, then realized what I had said and changed my wording to J, will you please retie the back of my dress for me, since I can't see what I'm doing? LOL We both got a kick out of that let me tell you!

[Kimblee]

We're rehearsing Messiah in church choir right now, and parts of the songs (like the really difficult runs) we sing each note on "Ta." So it goes Ta-ta-ta-ta...  I think you get the picture.

Aw, c'mon. Everybody knows the truly dirty part of the Messiah is "All We Like Sheep."

We're only doing the Christmas part + Hallelujah chorus. Darn. 

The choir my mother and I were in used to sing Messiah regularly. Mum used to wander round the house from time to time singing 'All We Like Sheep - Especially With Mint-Sauce'.

 

I used to think the song was called "We All Like Sheep" and wondered if it was an innocent ode to the joys of shepherding or.... something else.

[Sirius]

We're rehearsing Messiah in church choir right now, and parts of the songs (like the really difficult runs) we sing each note on "Ta." So it goes Ta-ta-ta-ta...  I think you get the picture.

Aw, c'mon. Everybody knows the truly dirty part of the Messiah is "All We Like Sheep."

That's the sort of thing you come up with during a long, boring choir practice.

[violinp]

Another choir post:

We were having trouble pronouncing end consonants, and our choir director said: "It's words of hope! Not words of ho!"

I still don't know how I kept a straight face the rest of rehearsal.

[lady_disdain]

Another choir post:

We were having trouble pronouncing end consonants, and our choir director said: "It's words of hope! Not words of ho!"

I still don't know how I kept a straight face the rest of rehearsal.

The Gospel of Mary Magdalene?

*ducks and runs very, very far*