Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[CakeBeret]

"I gave [boss man] herpes."

It's not dirty, I swear.

We always send out company Christmas cards, and this year's cards have glitter. Glitter is often called "the herpes of the craft world", which is a phrase that makes me giggle. So when I handed Boss Man the stack of Christmas cards (and made sure some of the glitter got on him) I meant to say something witty, but it came out as "I gave [boss man] herpes." Hilarity ensued.

[JoW]

I use to work with a man from China.  In his culture its family name first, given name last.  So his name tag and his phone listing were FamilyName GivenName.  And by reading that most people would have called him by his family name.  Which was Hung. 

The one thing you cannot call a man is Hung.  Most of us called him by his full name.  His close associates called him by his given name, which was his last name. 

[Iris]

I use to work with a man from China.  In his culture its family name first, given name last.  So his name tag and his phone listing were FamilyName GivenName.  And by reading that most people would have called him by his family name.  Which was Hung. 

The one thing you cannot call a man is Hung.  Most of us called him by his full name.  His close associates called him by his given name, which was his last name.

I used to work with a guy called Phuc. To be honest, we didn't even notice it after a very short time. It was just his name. It depends on context I think. If you introduce people and say "Mr SoandSo, this is Phuc" it's not like you are saying "Mr SoandSo, this is Mike, and here's a random swear word."

[Diane AKA Traska]

I use to work with a man from China.  In his culture its family name first, given name last.  So his name tag and his phone listing were FamilyName GivenName.  And by reading that most people would have called him by his family name.  Which was Hung. 

The one thing you cannot call a man is Hung.  Most of us called him by his full name.  His close associates called him by his given name, which was his last name.

I used to work with a guy called Phuc. To be honest, we didn't even notice it after a very short time. It was just his name. It depends on context I think. If you introduce people and say "Mr SoandSo, this is Phuc" it's not like you are saying "Mr SoandSo, this is Mike, and here's a random swear word."

Except it's pronounced "Foo". 

[Julia Mercer]

I use to work with a man from China.  In his culture its family name first, given name last.  So his name tag and his phone listing were FamilyName GivenName.  And by reading that most people would have called him by his family name.  Which was Hung. 

The one thing you cannot call a man is Hung.  Most of us called him by his full name.  His close associates called him by his given name, which was his last name.

I used to work with a guy called Phuc. To be honest, we didn't even notice it after a very short time. It was just his name. It depends on context I think. If you introduce people and say "Mr SoandSo, this is Phuc" it's not like you are saying "Mr SoandSo, this is Mike, and here's a random swear word."

My husband told me a story how he met a guy named Holea Phuc, (just think of Phuc and the first name pronounced Holy), it was hilarious, the story behind it!

[Slartibartfast]

A restaurant near my house is called Phuket.  Yes, it's foo-KET, but you can bet everyone stops and thinks through the possible pronunciations before saying it!

[Iris]

I use to work with a man from China.  In his culture its family name first, given name last.  So his name tag and his phone listing were FamilyName GivenName.  And by reading that most people would have called him by his family name.  Which was Hung. 

The one thing you cannot call a man is Hung.  Most of us called him by his full name.  His close associates called him by his given name, which was his last name.

I used to work with a guy called Phuc. To be honest, we didn't even notice it after a very short time. It was just his name. It depends on context I think. If you introduce people and say "Mr SoandSo, this is Phuc" it's not like you are saying "Mr SoandSo, this is Mike, and here's a random swear word."

Except it's pronounced "Foo". 

That's not how he pronounced it. I did actually work with him, he introduced himself and everything

[Iris]

I use to work with a man from China.  In his culture its family name first, given name last.  So his name tag and his phone listing were FamilyName GivenName.  And by reading that most people would have called him by his family name.  Which was Hung. 

The one thing you cannot call a man is Hung.  Most of us called him by his full name.  His close associates called him by his given name, which was his last name.

I used to work with a guy called Phuc. To be honest, we didn't even notice it after a very short time. It was just his name. It depends on context I think. If you introduce people and say "Mr SoandSo, this is Phuc" it's not like you are saying "Mr SoandSo, this is Mike, and here's a random swear word."

Except it's pronounced "Foo". 

That's not how he pronounced it. I did actually work with him, he introduced himself and everything

I should add that he pronounced it "Fook", not ... well, erm ... but in a country with quite a few Irish accents around it was near enough, believe me.

[nuit93]

I giggle like a pre-teen whenever someone says "duty".

Also, the song "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" sounds vaguely dirty to me.

[Diane AKA Traska]

I use to work with a man from China.  In his culture its family name first, given name last.  So his name tag and his phone listing were FamilyName GivenName.  And by reading that most people would have called him by his family name.  Which was Hung. 

The one thing you cannot call a man is Hung.  Most of us called him by his full name.  His close associates called him by his given name, which was his last name.

I used to work with a guy called Phuc. To be honest, we didn't even notice it after a very short time. It was just his name. It depends on context I think. If you introduce people and say "Mr SoandSo, this is Phuc" it's not like you are saying "Mr SoandSo, this is Mike, and here's a random swear word."

Except it's pronounced "Foo". 

That's not how he pronounced it. I did actually work with him, he introduced himself and everything

Trust me, I know all about mispronouncing one's own name... for the first twenty-five years or so of my life, I pronounced my last name incorrectly, then discovered the way it should be pronounced and... well, I'm sad to say I *still* mispronounce it, because how do you break a habit that ingrained?

[Mental Magpie]

I giggle like a pre-teen whenever someone says "duty".

Also, the song "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" sounds vaguely dirty to me.

Me, too!  I also snort when people say "What you do do is take a marker...".  Then I point out that they said do do.

[exitzero]

My boyfriend was helping a friend of mine hang a picture. They were in her bedroom, and I was a the bottom of the stairs in the kitchen.
I heard this exchange

Him: Does that look like 10 inches to you?
Her: Yup, let me grab a hold of it.

I yelled up the stairs that I didn't want to seem like one of THOSE girlfriends, but I don't think I liked where this converation is going!

Of course, things only got MUCH worse after that.

[wonderfullyanonymous]

Shirley works in our liquor dept, and is in charge of things like filling outs, making sure that the little paper bags are stocked. She came up with the idea for keeping them in a small container, and even has a place to put them.

When she approached our front end ZMS about this and said the following,

Amy, I need a small box (and that's where she paused)

my juvenile brain could not help, but laugh. Not only that, I added a comment that while not e-hell approved, set the 4 of us giggling hysterically.

[LadyClaire]

I use to work with a man from China.  In his culture its family name first, given name last.  So his name tag and his phone listing were FamilyName GivenName.  And by reading that most people would have called him by his family name.  Which was Hung. 

The one thing you cannot call a man is Hung.  Most of us called him by his full name.  His close associates called him by his given name, which was his last name.

At the uni I work for, we have a lot of asian students. We have a Hung and a Dong.

[LadyClaire]

I was telling my co-worker about the HUGE christmas tree my husband brought home last night. I said "Yeah, when he came through the door with it, it was just so enormous that I wasn't sure where I was even going to put it!"

Co-worker turned red and started snorting, and at that point I realized what I'd said..