Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[Dr. F.]

I was chatting with some colleagues yesterday about the cherry blossoms. I looked online at the various stages.

Me: "Oh, look! The florets are already exerted. The next stage is peduncle elongation, and then we achieve fluffy whiteness!"

Cue much giggling.

[Mental Magpie]

"You know what my formal name is.  Say it.  SAY IT."

A friend at work calls me Padewan but because he is a he, I refuse to call him Master.  That was a conversation worthy of this thread, too, but I forget how all of it went.  In the instance above, (all done jokingly) I was being obstinate and he was calling me Padewan, talking about how I was going to the Dark Side, that I was immature, and that I had no respect for my elders.  He wanted me to respect him and acknowledge his rank.  Yeah, you should have seen his face when he realized what it sounded like he was saying.

[Midnight Kitty]

A new member was marveling at all the spammers that were hammered this week, and I typed out "Yeah, they come in spurts."

That is priceless! I think I'll be working that comment into as many conversations as I can, just to see who catches the hidden meaning.

"You know what my formal name is. Say it. SAY IT."

A friend at work calls me Padewan but because he is a he, I refuse to call him Master.  That was a conversation worthy of this thread, too, but I forget how all of it went.  In the instance above, (all done jokingly) I was being obstinate and he was calling me Padewan, talking about how I was going to the Dark Side, that I was immature, and that I had no respect for my elders.  He wanted me to respect him and acknowledge his rank.  Yeah, you should have seen his face when he realized what it sounded like he was saying.

I'm missing something here.  If he said that first sentence, I would think he's a PITA, not something dirty.  I am clueless about Padewan and Master.  I would never refer to anyone with whom I work as "Master."  That title is reserved for DH and only used sarcastically ("Yes sir, Master sir. I'll do that right now").

[Bethczar]

A new member was marveling at all the spammers that were hammered this week, and I typed out "Yeah, they come in spurts."

That is priceless! I think I'll be working that comment into as many conversations as I can, just to see who catches the hidden meaning.

"You know what my formal name is. Say it. SAY IT."

A friend at work calls me Padewan but because he is a he, I refuse to call him Master.  That was a conversation worthy of this thread, too, but I forget how all of it went.  In the instance above, (all done jokingly) I was being obstinate and he was calling me Padewan, talking about how I was going to the Dark Side, that I was immature, and that I had no respect for my elders.  He wanted me to respect him and acknowledge his rank.  Yeah, you should have seen his face when he realized what it sounded like he was saying.

I'm missing something here.  If he said that first sentence, I would think he's a PITA, not something dirty.  I am clueless about Padewan and Master.  I would never refer to anyone with whom I work as "Master."  That title is reserved for DH and only used sarcastically ("Yes sir, Master sir. I'll do that right now").

I know Padewan & Master are Jedi titles, but I don't get the rest of it either.

[Mental Magpie]

A new member was marveling at all the spammers that were hammered this week, and I typed out "Yeah, they come in spurts."

That is priceless! I think I'll be working that comment into as many conversations as I can, just to see who catches the hidden meaning.

"You know what my formal name is. Say it. SAY IT."

A friend at work calls me Padewan but because he is a he, I refuse to call him Master.  That was a conversation worthy of this thread, too, but I forget how all of it went.  In the instance above, (all done jokingly) I was being obstinate and he was calling me Padewan, talking about how I was going to the Dark Side, that I was immature, and that I had no respect for my elders.  He wanted me to respect him and acknowledge his rank.  Yeah, you should have seen his face when he realized what it sounded like he was saying.

I'm missing something here.  If he said that first sentence, I would think he's a PITA, not something dirty.  I am clueless about Padewan and Master.  I would never refer to anyone with whom I work as "Master."  That title is reserved for DH and only used sarcastically ("Yes sir, Master sir. I'll do that right now").

I know Padewan & Master are Jedi titles, but I don't get the rest of it either.

"Say my name".  Sorry, I thought it was clear; we both got it but then again, we were there.

Midnight Kitty, neither would I but it was a Star Wars joke we were both going with.  It started with him saying he was the master at such and such and I was just the apprentice, so I should follow his lead and be a good Padewan.

[Midnight Kitty]

"You know what my formal name is. Say it. SAY IT."

"Say my name".  Sorry, I thought it was clear; we both got it but then again, we were there.

Now I feel hopelessly dense. I tried saying both bolded phrases out loud and still I got nothing dirty.  I have an "earthy" sense of humor, so I'm very frustrated to be missing the good part.

Midnight Kitty, neither would I but it was a Star Wars joke we were both going with.  It started with him saying he was the master at such and such and I was just the apprentice, so I should follow his lead and be a good Padewan.

I'm glad it works for you guys.  I wouldn't tolerate that level of disrespect at work.  I earned my reputation for being "a bit prickly."

[Mental Magpie]

"You know what my formal name is. Say it. SAY IT."

"Say my name".  Sorry, I thought it was clear; we both got it but then again, we were there.

Now I feel hopelessly dense. I tried saying both bolded phrases out loud and still I got nothing dirty.  I have an "earthy" sense of humor, so I'm very frustrated to be missing the good part.

Midnight Kitty, neither would I but it was a Star Wars joke we were both going with.  It started with him saying he was the master at such and such and I was just the apprentice, so I should follow his lead and be a good Padewan.

I'm glad it works for you guys.  I wouldn't tolerate that level of disrespect at work.  I earned my reputation for being "a bit prickly."

"Say my name" is something, while not necessarily actually said, that has been made into a joke about being said during Scrabble.


Also, I don't see how it is disrespectful at all so I can see why our mileage varies.

[Diane AKA Traska]

My guess is that some people don't like the idea of calling someone "Master", in that it could also imply a slave-like relationship.

[VorFemme]

My guess is that some people don't like the idea of calling someone "Master", in that it could also imply a slave-like relationship.

Or some kind of kinky scrabble like in Fifty Shades of whatever.....Lady Heather's house on CSI comes to mind.......but nobody would call her "Master"....."Mistress", on the other hand.

[Julia Mercer]

http://fb-troublemakers.com/dirty-looking-photos-that-are-completely-clean-9111/

[Diane AKA Traska]

That last one's always been a favorite of mine.

[Julia Mercer]

I was out last night playing pool with hubby, sister and brother in law, and was reading a list on the wall of replacement parts and accessories for pool tables and cues, and thought of this thread when I saw "extra shaft", "butt holder".......and I found this doozy on another forum, had to share it, lol

10) I use cue slik to make my shaft super slippery.
9) I just had my entire butt resprayed by Scot Sherbine.
He'll be in great shape if he can move his balls over a little!
7) I just hate sitting on an Andy Gilbert shaft.
6) Fingerslides!
5) Hey Lenny, is anyone else having problems with their stream?
4) You tell him.. if he wants action, I'll give him action all night long!
3) He's got the nutz!!
2) Ralf plays around with the weights in the butt.

And the #1 phrase that sounds dirty but isn't....

1) Getting down and dirty in the TAR pit!


"Turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement!" ~ Les Nessman

“Dead balls are harder to find than they are to make." ~ Cisero Murphy

"When all else fails, try not missing ... INTENTIONALLY." ~ Steve Mizerak

www.deadstrokeuniversity.com (the url in itself sounds dirty)

[wonderfullyanonymous]

Walking passed an As Seen on TV display yesterday with an Asst. Manager, and he says "Oh, look, pocket hose."

My brain took that too a whole different direction, and all I could do was apologize for laughing, and I told him that I just took that the very wrong way.

[White Dragon]

Today I prepared some documents to send to a client. We send lots of these and they are referred  to in our industry as "packages".

Before I send anything out, it has to be reviewed for accuracy.

So I walked into coworker's office and said "I'm going to indulge my inner 12 year old and ask you to check out my package."

She just laughed and said "Seeing as how it's you I'll say yes. But I wouldn't to one of the guys..."

[Mental Magpie]

These always make me giggle like a kid.


There is a dog groomers near my house named Doggy Stylin'.