Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[Piratelvr1121]

A commercial for a bbq place in the food court of our mall. 

"No one pulls my pork like Virginia Barbecue"

[MizB]

At work we were putting a sign up and it had bubbles, we had been having a great time laughing about how dirty the whole thing was when I said push it, keep going, yeah thats it, keep going, keep going, yes.

[wonderfullyanonymous]

Trany bought and paid for, pick up tomorrow morning.

Was for her car, not a bazaar bachlorette party...

[Dawse]

There's an advert currently airing in the UK for Walker's deep ridged crisps. Their tagline is 'Ridges twice as deep, for extra satisfaction.'

I couldn't believe what I was hearing the first time. I'm still not sure how they got away with airing it during the day. My boyfriend said it sounds like an advert for condoms.

And in the same vein, there's a local gardening company whose vans have the words 'total service for your endless pleasure' emblazoned proudly on the door. I'm not sure if I want that to be deliberate or not.

[Elisabunny]

The next large town over includes Beaver wingadingdingy Park.

It honors an explorer and trapper named Richard, who had very prominent, buck teeth.  Really.

[baglady]

I posted on Facebook this morning that I dreamed a couple I know were "doing the Freak Show." A minute later I realized what that sounded like and added: "BTW: 'Doing the Freak Show' is not a euphemism."

This couple used to host a podcast that had "Freak Show" in its name. That's what they were doing in my dream -- an episode of the podcast.

[White Dragon]

We've met a lot of lovely people on our recent trip.
One night, we stayed in a restored castle, where we met a very nice couple who were on their honeymoon.

So I tried very hard not to laugh when the newlyweds mentioned they would be spending the evening in the lounge, playing scrabble - and would we like to join them?   

But my inner 12 year old was rolling on the floor laughing!! 

[Julia Mercer]

http://u2037p1088.ilyke.net/13-funny-sexual-innuendos---8-is-really-explicit/36446

[Ms_Cellany]

Have you ever seen "Innuendo Bingo"?  Here's Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom, all growed up!) failing miserably but hilariously.

[Ferrets]

I work at a publishing house. One of our typesetters recently telephoned our office (Editorial) in fits of laughter, asking for our expert opinion on how she should correct the following missing-word error she'd spotted in a Western novel:

"Bud, you need to go with the lawman," he said. "Don't give him any trouble and I'll work on getting you free."

Bud's only reaction was the slight stiffening of his [missing word] with which he often responded when given an order.

Reading it out in deadpan fashion and requesting input confirmed beyond all reasonable doubt that every single one of us in the office has a mental humour age of about twelve.

[readingchick]

I work at a publishing house. One of our typesetters recently telephoned our office (Editorial) in fits of laughter, asking for our expert opinion on how she should correct the following missing-word error she'd spotted in a Western novel:

"Bud, you need to go with the lawman," he said. "Don't give him any trouble and I'll work on getting you free."

Bud's only reaction was the slight stiffening of his [missing word] with which he often responded when given an order.

Reading it out in deadpan fashion and requesting input confirmed beyond all reasonable doubt that every single one of us in the office has a mental humour age of about twelve.

snickering over here.....

[Carotte]

I work at a publishing house. One of our typesetters recently telephoned our office (Editorial) in fits of laughter, asking for our expert opinion on how she should correct the following missing-word error she'd spotted in a Western novel:

"Bud, you need to go with the lawman," he said. "Don't give him any trouble and I'll work on getting you free."

Bud's only reaction was the slight stiffening of his [missing word] with which he often responded when given an order.

Reading it out in deadpan fashion and requesting input confirmed beyond all reasonable doubt that every single one of us in the office has a mental humour age of about twelve.

I guess it was something like spine or jaw? but yeah, I'd wager that 99% off people above 12 will think the exact same thing.

[Midnight Kitty]

I work at a publishing house. One of our typesetters recently telephoned our office (Editorial) in fits of laughter, asking for our expert opinion on how she should correct the following missing-word error she'd spotted in a Western novel:

"Bud, you need to go with the lawman," he said. "Don't give him any trouble and I'll work on getting you free."

Bud's only reaction was the slight stiffening of his [missing word] with which he often responded when given an order.

Reading it out in deadpan fashion and requesting input confirmed beyond all reasonable doubt that every single one of us in the office has a mental humour age of about twelve.

I guess it was something like spine or jaw? but yeah, I'd wager that 99% off people above 12 will think the exact same thing.

I guessed "neck."

[cwm]

I work at a publishing house. One of our typesetters recently telephoned our office (Editorial) in fits of laughter, asking for our expert opinion on how she should correct the following missing-word error she'd spotted in a Western novel:

"Bud, you need to go with the lawman," he said. "Don't give him any trouble and I'll work on getting you free."

Bud's only reaction was the slight stiffening of his [missing word] with which he often responded when given an order.

Reading it out in deadpan fashion and requesting input confirmed beyond all reasonable doubt that every single one of us in the office has a mental humour age of about twelve.

I guess it was something like spine or jaw? but yeah, I'd wager that 99% off people above 12 will think the exact same thing.

I guessed "neck."

Neck, jaw, both would work. But yeah, not what I was thinking originally.

I swear, I'm a well-adjusted adult. Sometimes...

[Elfmama]

I work at a publishing house. One of our typesetters recently telephoned our office (Editorial) in fits of laughter, asking for our expert opinion on how she should correct the following missing-word error she'd spotted in a Western novel:

"Bud, you need to go with the lawman," he said. "Don't give him any trouble and I'll work on getting you free."

Bud's only reaction was the slight stiffening of his [missing word] with which he often responded when given an order.

Reading it out in deadpan fashion and requesting input confirmed beyond all reasonable doubt that every single one of us in the office has a mental humour age of about twelve.

I guess it was something like spine or jaw? but yeah, I'd wager that 99% off people above 12 will think the exact same thing.

I guessed "neck."

Neck, jaw, both would work. But yeah, not what I was thinking originally.

I swear, I'm a well-adjusted adult. Sometimes...

Obviously, Bud is a young man in search of a good dominatrix.