Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

[Friday]

I met a man one time who had similar looks to two other guys I know who also went by the same nickname form of a common name as him.  In my mind, this equated to a classic example of a name / face match up.  And, I commented on it.

Exact words:  "You look like a wingadingdingy"

I quickly backpeddled as he looked like two other guys, birthname Richard, that I knew who both went by wingadingdingy.

[Scritzy]

I met a man one time who had similar looks to two other guys I know who also went by the same nickname form of a common name as him.  In my mind, this equated to a classic example of a name / face match up.  And, I commented on it.

Exact words:  "You look like a wingadingdingy"

I quickly backpeddled as he looked like two other guys, birthname Richard, that I knew who both went by wingadingdingy.

You just made my day! ROFL!

[MadMadge43]

I've always wanted to say (because it's true), but have never had the chance, so here goes:

I have an ex-boyfriend who's a Private Investigator, yeah he's a real wingadingdingy.

[shadowfox79]

When DH went to renew his Working Men's Club card, he noticed that his brother was down on the list as a "male member".

When he got back in the car, he greeted me with "It says Our Kid's a male member! I always knew he was a wingadingdingy!"

[Lokie]

Okay, so I wasn't going to post this because it showcases even more what a perv I am, but the wingadingdingy jokes made me do it.

DH, a bunch of his work buddies and I were hanging out in a bar.  They were talking shop, and the conversation turned to another co-worker, not present, named wingadingdingy.  Back and forth they went, discussing this guy and his failings at work.  Finally one of the guys throws his hands up to stop the conversation and says "Okay, okay wait a minute.  Who here likes wingadingdingy?"
I sheepishly raised my hand.  I couldn't help it.  It was too perfect.

[hermanne]

Okay, so I wasn't going to post this because it showcases even more what a perv I am, but the wingadingdingy jokes made me do it.

DH, a bunch of his work buddies and I were hanging out in a bar.  They were talking shop, and the conversation turned to another co-worker, not present, named wingadingdingy.  Back and forth they went, discussing this guy and his failings at work.  Finally one of the guys throws his hands up to stop the conversation and says "Okay, okay wait a minute.  Who here likes wingadingdingy?"
I sheepishly raised my hand.  I couldn't help it.  It was too perfect.

It was a perfect opening.

[beingkj]

One that sends me over the edge is when I hear or read about an American "rooting" for something.

Totally different meaning in Australia.

[Paper Roses]

I know I've posted this story before, but it soooooo fits this thread.

A long time ago, I worked for an insurance company.  One day I was standing in front of my desk, talking with one of the marketing reps.  We had pretty much finished our conversation and he was walking back to his desk, but still facing me and talking.  Then the receptionist, an older lady who was the absolute epitome of class and grace, walked around the corner holding a pair of "Totes" - those rubber shoe coverings they make for men to wear in the rain.  She said to the marketing rep, "Are these your rubbers?"

He looked at her, shook his head and deadpanned, "I never leave my rubbers laying around."

She nodded and said "Oh, ok." and walked back around the corner.  He turned and looked at me, and the look on his face was priceless - kind of a "Can you believe I just got away with that?"  look.  Well, it's a good thing my chair was right behind me, because I literally fell back into it from laughing so hard.  He did the same thing, and the two of us were laughing so hard we were practically not even breathing for the next 10 minutes or so. 

Suddenly, the receptionist walked back around and said, "I know what you're laughing at.  You should be ashamed of yourselves!"  Which, of course, only made us laugh harder.

[Elle]

One that sends me over the edge is when I hear or read about an American "rooting" for something.

Totally different meaning in Australia.

So I imagine it would be quite a shock if I were to announce I was rooting for the Pittsburgh Steelers . . . . . all of them . . . . . 

[sbagirl]

I attended a wedding last year of two of our reenactor friends.  It is important to note that many of our friends who were there portray Native Americans (wearing breechcloths), Highlanders (wearing kilts), soldiers (wearing britches), etc. (this was not a theme wedding, just an ordinary wedding and everyone was wearing 21st century clothes).

At the beginning of the reception, a group of us were sitting around a table, chatting and looking around the room as the man from the reception hall was coming around to light the candles in the center of each table. 

Just as the man leaned over next to her to light the candles on our table, my friend Linda said loudly, “Wow, this is the first time I’ve seen most of these men wearing trousers!”

We knew exactly what she meant but the look on the candlelighter’s face was absolutely priceless, and we laughed so hard we almost fell off our chairs.

Edited to clarify something.

[LB]

I'm checking out at the store this morning and the cashier asks me how I'm doing.

"Fine thanks, and you?"
"Oh, I'm good, just really sleepy. I've been here since 6 a.m."
"Oh, well I hope you get off soon."   

[Clara Bow]

One that sends me over the edge is when I hear or read about an American "rooting" for something.

Totally different meaning in Australia.

So I imagine it would be quite a shock if I were to announce I was rooting for the Pittsburgh Steelers . . . . . all of them . . . . . 

I root for the Boston Red Sox, the Georgia Bulldogs and the Michigan Wolverines!

[HeebyJeebyLeebee]

Mods, please don't ban for this!

I mentioned this on another "Humor Me" thread, but Chicago has three streets that rhyme with a certain part of a woman's body:  Melvina, Paulina, and Lunt.  (Mel-VIE-nuh, Paul-LIE-nuh, and Luhnt).  I live near two of them, and I can't help but giggle every time a street sign for them. 


Second Story:
I'm very active in my local Renaissance Faire.  I have many friends with whom I'm so used to seeing them in "garb", that when I see them in "mundanes," it's very strange.  It's very common for us to exclaim to each other,
"Hey!  I'm not used to seeing you in clothes!"
"Sweet monkey fritters!  You're wearing pants!" (usually said to the gentlemen who usually wear kilts)
"Your ta-tas are covered!" (gotta love bodices)
"I'm not used to seeing you so COVERED UP!" (our faire's in the summer, so many year revealing outfits to cope with the heat, a la elves, fairies, barbarians, warriors, etc)
"I didn't recognize you without all the fur!" (said to Vikings)
"Wow!  You've got hair!" (to ladies who cover their hair to be historically accurate at faire, usually to hide a modern hairstyle)

[Elly]

I was playing doubles tennis one evening with three other women, on a court complex at a public park. I think there were 4 or 5 courts that were fenced in on the outside but no dividers inside between the courts. While playing a stray tennis ball came rolling across our court. My tennis partner picked it up and yelled to the two men playing on the next court, "Do you have fuzzy balls?"  The men didn't hear her, but WE all did and laughed so hard we all had to sit down for a while.

A friend and I went into an ice cream shop one sunny afternoon. The shop was empty except for a couple sitting at a table. I got my cone and was waiting for my friend,who was trying to decide between a cone and a sundae. She asked the teenage boy behind the counter "What kind of nuts do you have?" He turned beet red, and I was successful in not laughing out loud until the lady sitting at the table turned to the man with her and hissed "Did she just ask him what kind of NUTS he had??"  She ended up with a cone as she didn't want to have to ask him to put his nuts on her sundae.

[Mrs. B]

I was talking with an acquaintance/pre-friend of mine on the phone after Christmas.  She was waxing about how much she loved the pearl necklace her husband had given her.  That the pearls were larger than any she had before and how much she loved them.  The next time I saw her she had the neglace on.  I said, " Those are lovely, and they are huge!  If size is any indication of how much he loves you, I'd say he loves you alot"    She kept a straight face long enough to respond "Based on what you said, he loves, yep.  he loves me."