Another advice columnist misses the point

[Clara Bow]

Okay...here goes me on a tirade.
Why, why WHY does a woman have to have a man to be considered happy?? I enjoyes being single throuroughly, wouldn't change a thing. How could I be a good wife for my husband if I never had any time to know myself first?? I am currently watching in breath-held horror as a friend completely screws herself up by doing the rebound thing because she "can't be alone". AHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!
There is nothing wrong with being single, it's cool. You always get to do what you want and the only socks you're picking up are your own. And you learn who you are, and how to stand on your own two feet. What could possibly be wrong with that??

[Twik]

You know, it's not just the assumption that the writer would be happier with a man - it's the assumption that she needs to be "actively pursuing" one, as if she should be setting out Malaysian mantraps on the path to the library. Of course, I suspect what the writers meant is going to various social events, such as frat parties, and making a spectacle of one's sexual availability, in the hopes that one morning your partner for the night will wake up and go "Hey, that was great! Maybe I'll call you tomorrow, OK?"

After all, if the writer doesn't get married soon, how will she end up with enough interesting divorce stories to tell her friends when she's 40?

[Mikayla]

I agree with everyone.  I'm not familiar with this columnist, but I've noticed that there's a few of them out there who try to be clever with their responses.

Generally what happens is they're not clever and then their advice is off the mark.

[Athos_000]

Ugh! This just really made me mad! Kudos to the letter writer for knowing herself and being mature enough to focus on her education rather than spending that time partying and searching for a man. I will never understand people who push this view that you must be searching for a man at all times if you are not currently in a relationship - I got this attitude for years ( I wonder how many old bats sighed in relief when DH finally showed up in my life lol).

[MommaBear]

The general feeling I got from these advice columnists is that they have read one too  many romance novels... Don't get me wrong... I do enjoy one every once in awhile, but after awhile, the general theme of a romance novel is that a woman CAN"T live without a man... I wish I had figured that out before I got married.... 

[Pixie]

Oddly enough I got the impression that if the letter-writer had been male, HE would have been told to study hard, finish school and start on a career before worrying about settling down.


Just my opinion.

[Lisbeth]

Oddly enough I got the impression that if the letter-writer had been male, HE would have been told to study hard, finish school and start on a career before worrying about settling down.


Just my opinion.

And mine.

[megswsu]

The girl is in college! She's doing what she should be doing......having fun! Too bad the advice columnist didn't see that. And I love how the columnist thinks you have to "actively search" to find a man. What?! I met my very first BF and my DH when I wasn't 'looking' for someone. It just happened and the timing was perfect. I swear. These 'advice' columnists need to spend some time in the real world, maybe then they'll get things right.

[Mrs. Eclipse]

You know, it's not just the assumption that the writer would be happier with a man - it's the assumption that she needs to be "actively pursuing" one, as if she should be setting out Malaysian mantraps on the path to the library.

Malaysian mantraps, that's funny.

But this post kind of embodies the attitude, "You won't ever be happy in life if you don't live my way."  People can be very closed minded without realizing it.  That's what really ticks me off. 

What if this girl never gets married, or doesn't even care for dating?  And one day she's in her forties and she writes to the advice columnist saying something like, "My family's bugging me because I didn't take a job with higher pay.  I love my current job, I make enough now to support me, how can I tell them that's enough for me?"  Would the advice columnist go, "Well, first off, let me say if you had gotten married when you were in college you'd be getting two paychecks and your family would get off your back.  But anyway, here's what you say..."

Am I overreacting with that last paragraph or is it close to the mark?

And may I add, most of the adult couples I know and knew grewing up had those stories where they just kind of met, and were friends, and fell in love.  No Malaysian mantraps necessary.

[Amanita]

Just what the heck is a Malaysian mantrap, anyway?

To heck with mantraps, I need a freaking Crane trap!

[ccnumber4]

That link must update with each day's new columns, because the one's posted right now are completely different.  And just as insane.  Letter #2 is from a woman complaining that her sister wants to date the writer's ex-boyfriend.  A man she dated for 5 years, 15 years ago.  This "happily married" woman wants to know if she should "let" these two date.  The Annies tell her that it is not really her place to decide for them, but she should let her sister know that it may estrange the two sisters and that the Annies "don't recommend it."

So, now others not only get to tell you when to date, but also get to decide WHO you date.