Author Topic: My son, the pervert  (Read 3442 times)

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LadyDyani

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My son, the pervert
« on: February 09, 2007, 10:22:04 AM »
So I was sitting in the living room, talking to my daughter, and I hear my son in the other room, saying, “This is my favorite book.”

I wander in to see what he’s reading.

He was looking at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.

I said, “That’s your favorite book?”

He said, “Yes, but I don’t want to tell you why.”

I said, “Why not?”

He looked at me, and asked if I really wanted to know. I answered in the affirmative, and he pointed at a picture on the cover, of eight ladies wearing bikini bottoms and nothing else, with their arms crossed over their breasts and said, “Because of those.”

I stifled my laughter, and sent him to take a shower. Then I hid the magazine, and immediately called my dad to laugh about it.

My five-year-old son likes boobies.

*snicker*
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

Cyndi

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2007, 05:43:40 PM »
Well it IS hardwired into most men to look at boobs. I guess your little man is starting early :p

hobish

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2007, 05:56:52 PM »



Oh that is FUNNY!
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sassydeej

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2007, 11:59:53 PM »
 That is very funny.   They do seem to start young don't they? 

When my son was about 4 or 5 he showed me a monthly play 'boy' that his dad had laying around and said he really liked looking at it.  When I asked him what he was looking at he told me 'look mom they have feet'.  Not sure what the future holds with that, but I did inform hubby that the magazine needed to go on a higher shelf or someplace better hidden.

Clara Bow

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2007, 12:07:10 AM »
My son wants to go to Hooters to get a girlfriend...he's four.
I have finally found the bar I can't get thrown out of....

POF

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2007, 04:35:40 PM »
We were at a Minor League Baseball game with some friends - D was busy putting suntan lotion on everyone within reach when her 4 year old son said - Mom can I have some lotion on this - it's itchy . He had himself out of his shorts.  Everyone in the vicinity was hysterical.




Pixie

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2007, 08:44:05 PM »
My nephew wanted the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders for his 4th birthday. His father quickly reminded him that we are Viking fans!


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Heavenly

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2007, 10:13:01 PM »
Quote
His father quickly reminded him that we are Viking fans!

I'm sorry.   ;D

Mr. H is a Viking fan too...it's tough on him.  LOL

Xanthia, Maker of fine Tin-foil hats since 2007

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2007, 10:52:49 PM »
I was visiting with a friend once, and there was a group of us, I was wearing a skirt and some hose and pumps as we were going out to a nice resturaunt, as we were stting around talking and waiting for the final lady to show up, I feel something gently caressing my calf and I thought her cat walked by and brushed its tail against my leg...well it happened again, but it went higher and I looked under the table to see her 3 year old sun memesrized by my heels and hose, gently caressing my leg.  I started laughing and his mom said he had discovered panythose the Sunday before when she was dressing for church and had been fascinated by the silky texture since, and it seems I was the only one wearing a skirt that night.

Dad scooped him up and proudly said "Yep...my son is a leg man, just like his daddy."

Suze

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2007, 07:38:18 AM »
Xanthia, your post reminds me when I was rollerskating a lot -- Disco was IN (dates ME right?) I had a pair of velvet pants.

One night as I am talking to someone I feel a hand running up and down my leg. HUH? look down and there is a little boy "petting" my leg.  His comment to me was "They're fuzzy"
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LadyDyani

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2007, 09:27:37 AM »
When he was about three or so, we had a couple of friends that used to come over Friday or Saturday to play euchre.  (Haven't had a decent game since they got divorced,  :( though that's off the subject).  The lady of that couple used to wear shorts a lot, and she always used a bath and body works peach scented lotion. 

One day we were playing cards, and she freaked out and hopped away from the table.  She said there was a mouse or something licking her leg.

Yep.  My three year old little boy loved that lotion.
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

guihong

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2007, 09:32:57 AM »
This isn't so much on the topic,but one time I had to take my son to the hospital clinic.  He got a wristband, which I put around his leg.  He studied his band, then went around pushing up women's pants to see if THEY had a band.

I stopped him, but everyone was laughing.

gui



Elfqueen13

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2007, 01:10:50 PM »
When my son was 2 his favorite restaurant was Hooters.  He'd be in the high chair at the end of the table and the waitress, without fail, would lean down and press her boobs together with her upper arms while cooing over my son (hey, he was a cute baby!) and he'd just laugh and laugh.  You know, he's almost 9 and still hasn't hit the "girls have cooties" stage...
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ShadesOfGrey

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2007, 01:53:10 PM »
I think that - wait a second...

they have high chairs at hooters?!  ??? ahahaha!  That's the funniest thing I've heard all day...  ;D
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Clara Bow

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Re: My son, the pervert
« Reply #14 on: February 12, 2007, 04:16:28 PM »
And a kid's menu...
I have finally found the bar I can't get thrown out of....