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  • December 02, 2016, 06:58:58 PM

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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 441847 times)

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MaryR

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2940 on: November 25, 2016, 12:20:03 PM »
Dear Simple

I know I shouldn't be laughing at you, but I can't help it. You have lived with us since you were a kitten. We switch the ceiling fans twice a year*. This means you have lived through this at least 22 times. The evil ceiling fans are not going to eat you if you walk through the middle of the room. They haven't eaten you the last 22 times this has happened, I promise they won't eat you now.

Love,
The one who wonders how a cat who can't remember what time dinner is even noticed that the fans above his head were blowing in a different direction.



*the default for our ceiling fans is on, but we switch them from blowing down to blowing up in the winter and back down in the spring. It helps with the air circulation.

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2941 on: November 27, 2016, 04:12:34 PM »
Dear Sophie,

We have lost one cat a month ago. We're not ready to lose another. You are already on medication for an infection, and due some more tests. Then this evening you vanished.

We hunted for hours. We notified the neighbours in case you had got out through two closed doors a gate and a window. We turned the house upside down. And then we tried behind the fitted drawers...where two dusty eyes looked up from a coat that was more grey than black. So thank you for a Sunday evening spent having heart attacks, followed by dissassembling built-in furniture to the ground to get you out.

so 1) How on earth did you get in there and 2) Next time could you spare a mew or two to tell us where you are please?

Regards,
Your annoyed staff

P.S. If you continue we will change your name to Jinx.
P.P.S. Matilda, thank you for sitting by the wardrobe during the early stages of our search. We are dreadfully sorry we didn't realise what you were trying to say, and yes, you are right, the new cat is not bright.

DollyPond

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2942 on: November 27, 2016, 04:42:21 PM »
Dear Every Cat I Have Ever Owned + Other People's Cats,

Why, why, why is it that when we humans change the sheets on the bed you need to be in the middle of it all?

Awaiting your response,

Ladee Who Tells You to Get Out of the Way

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2943 on: November 27, 2016, 05:00:46 PM »
Dear kitties (except Ghost who does not care as much about food as she does about pets),
My every appearance does not warrant the giving of special snacks.  Those are apology snacks for when I've had to be away longer than expected, and bribery snacks to get the semi-ferals tamed.  If I gave them to you every day, they would just be food, not special snacks!

Love,
The human



Twik

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2944 on: November 28, 2016, 02:13:33 PM »
Dear Every Cat I Have Ever Owned + Other People's Cats,

Why, why, why is it that when we humans change the sheets on the bed you need to be in the middle of it all?

Awaiting your response,

Ladee Who Tells You to Get Out of the Way

Because being surrounded by billowing clouds of soft fluffy laundry is cat heaven?
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2945 on: November 28, 2016, 03:55:25 PM »
Dear Sassy:

The dogs are behaving and leaving you alone.  Quit baiting them!

The one who spent a lot of money on dog training and is upset it doesn't work on the cat...
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2946 on: November 30, 2016, 01:53:50 PM »
Dear Sophie,

We got back from the vets less than two hours ago after your pills and wardrobe experience. So imagine our feelings when we heard a crash and then rataratarataratCRASH. Naturally we ran out to see what had happened and saw a rapidly retreating black tail and devastation oin the stairs, with a trail of black fur that told us everything. And then you tried to do it again...

Please do not decide to take a flying leap at the stairgate, knocking it clear off its mounts and then ride it to the bottom of the stairs. You have been at the vets twice-weekly since you arrived, and it is getting expensive. And who knows what I'll tell her next time she asks if your personality is coming out yet...

Regards,
Mum.

P.S. I suspect I somehow attract cats with character.

Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2947 on: November 30, 2016, 02:22:19 PM »
Dear Sophie,

We got back from the vets less than two hours ago after your pills and wardrobe experience. So imagine our feelings when we heard a crash and then rataratarataratCRASH. Naturally we ran out to see what had happened and saw a rapidly retreating black tail and devastation oin the stairs, with a trail of black fur that told us everything. And then you tried to do it again...

Please do not decide to take a flying leap at the stairgate, knocking it clear off its mounts and then ride it to the bottom of the stairs. You have been at the vets twice-weekly since you arrived, and it is getting expensive. And who knows what I'll tell her next time she asks if your personality is coming out yet...

Regards,
Mum.

P.S. I suspect I somehow attract cats with character.

;D ;D ;D

She sounds like she is channeling the Sophie I used to have. The one who played with the sixty pound poodle, who flushed toilets, who opened doors, who annoyed her sisters by stuffing mylar foil balls into her favorite puzzle toy to make it more fun...
"The wild roses have died, Father, and I know not what to do."