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  • January 28, 2015, 11:30:43 AM

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Author Topic: How "Grown UP" do you feel?  (Read 1768 times)

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Dindrane

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #45 on: January 14, 2015, 11:13:06 PM »
I've just realized that I think part of what makes me so comfortable to say that I am definitely a grown up right now is a situation that's been developing at work. One of my co-workers is someone who just recently finished college, and she's 7 or 8 years younger than I am. She also reminds me very much of the way that I was 7 or 8 years ago (both in terms of her personality, and in her work experience/skills and how she typically navigates workplace challenges). Because she's been working with me and my boss for the past few months, I've been training her how to do things and overseeing her work.

So it's been really interesting that, kind of by accident, I've started to feel as much like her mentor (of a sorts) as her friend. I like her as a person a lot, and think she has enormous potential, but there is so much that I can teach her. Having that realization is kind of startling, in some ways, because I still recognize that there are areas where I am very inexperienced and very much need professional growth. But at the same time, I've grown enough professionally in the last few years that I know exactly what those areas are and have a plan for gaining the experience I lack, so that kind of adds to the whole feeling of being a grown up.

So I certainly don't have all the answers, but the fact that I have them at all (and know how to get more) is actually a pretty big difference from when I was a teenager. It gives me a lot more confidence in myself, and, interestingly, makes it easier for me to say upfront when I have absolutely no idea what the answer is. :)


Yarnspinner

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #46 on: January 15, 2015, 01:55:33 AM »
Hmmm...I have held the same job for almost thirty years, I more or less own my home (mortgage), I know who to call and what to say in various financial cases....and I recently purchased a new car, plan programs and take the place of my branch director when he is away.  When I look in the mirror I see a sixty year old woman who can do a lot of creative things.

And I wonder who she is, because the person typing this feels like a thirteen year old girl who barely keeps it all together.  My home is a mess and the bills get paid when I find time and, really, would a mature and responsible adult be sitting up at 2 a.m. to post to this adorable thread?  I don't think so!  (Said in a McCauley Culkin Home Alone voice.)

I once posited this question to my mother who, at seventy five, had had some very exciting and fun adventures in New York as a young interior designer and, as an older woman, survived open heart surgery, cancer surgery, various eye laser surgeries and other issues.  It still breaks my heart that she was trying to realize the rest of her creative dreams through me (and I think I was something of a disappointment as I didn't have her skill and energy). 

But when I asked her (She was seventy eight as I think about it) "When do I start feeling like a mature, responsible adult?"  she cocked her head to one side and said "I'll let you know."

I have a feeling all of us are stuck inside at a permanent age of not more than fifteen.

knitwicca

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #47 on: January 15, 2015, 08:14:27 AM »
The company which used to hold my contract does not allow employees to have business cards.  ???
This always made me feel unprofessional when meeting new vendors or customers.

The new company provides our business cards.
Yesterday, mine arrived.

Now THAT makes me feel like a freakin' grown-up!  ;D

Thipu1

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #48 on: January 15, 2015, 11:45:30 AM »
When I was in college, both my Mother and I were very fond of Ilf & Petrov's 'The Twelve Chairs'. 

One of the memorable lines in the book was one that described adult, responsible citizens as 'mattress owners'. 

When I moved out of my parents' home and into my own apartment, one of the first pieces of mail I received was a note from my Mother.  It simply said, 'Congratulations!  You are now a mattress owner!'

Seriously, I always feel badly when I hear people tell teens and college students that 'these are the best years of your life.'

If possible, the teen and college years are probably the worst years of a person's life.  S/he has growing responsibility but little or no autonomy.  The best years come a bit later when you have a job, your own place and a little money.  You can read what you want and go where you want. 

That's good but, barring health conditions, life gets better as you get older. 

 

Coley

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #49 on: January 15, 2015, 12:02:41 PM »
Seriously, I always feel badly when I hear people tell teens and college students that 'these are the best years of your life.'

If possible, the teen and college years are probably the worst years of a person's life.  S/he has growing responsibility but little or no autonomy.  The best years come a bit later when you have a job, your own place and a little money.  You can read what you want and go where you want. 

That's good but, barring health conditions, life gets better as you get older.

POD. There are some things I wish I'd appreciated more when I was a teen or young adult, but overall, becoming fully independent as an adult is its own benefit. I always perceived myself (when I was a teen/young adult) as being independent in the sense that I thought for myself and was careful about the influences I allowed into my life. I've always marched to my own drum. But as a teen or college student, I was not wholly independent, and certainly not as independent as I would have preferred.

When I was 24, I moved away from my family and friends to another state where I didn't know anyone. That's when I began to feel truly independent. That was freedom and autonomy. Nobody was watching what I did, and no one was there to keep tabs on me. I had to answer to myself, and I had to take care of myself. That's where I began to become an "adult." If I hadn't moved away, I don't know if I would have matured in the same way.

I still march very much to my own drum, so I haven't changed in that regard. Maybe that's part of the reason why I feel younger inside than my chronological age. I still channel that younger part of me that was striving to be independent.

siamesecat2965

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #50 on: January 15, 2015, 12:21:08 PM »


Seriously, I always feel badly when I hear people tell teens and college students that 'these are the best years of your life.'

If possible, the teen and college years are probably the worst years of a person's life.  S/he has growing responsibility but little or no autonomy.  The best years come a bit later when you have a job, your own place and a little money.  You can read what you want and go where you want. 

That's good but, barring health conditions, life gets better as you get older.

I have to agree. Yes, there have been times when I've been really stressed and overewhelmed and wished I could go back to that time, with no responsibilities, but then I remember how much more i can do, as a functioning adult, and that wish disappears.

half_dollars

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #51 on: January 15, 2015, 03:19:22 PM »
Most days, I'm still waiting to feel grown up.  I'm 38, have 3 kiddos, moved 13 times (6 different states) since college graduation, built 3 houses, sold 4 houses, homeschool my kiddos, and started my own business (so, responsibility galore!).  Yet, I still cannot comprehend that "girls" born in the 1990's are really old enough to be pregnant and have kids or getting married, that I've really graduated college 17 years ago, that my oldest IS really 9, that I'm closer to 50 than 20.  I feel incredibly "young", but then notice all the lines and wrinkles.

I took my oldest on his first big roller coaster ride in May 2013.  We screamed at the top of our lungs with arms up the entire ride, then raced from the exit to the entrance to do it again.  All I could think was that it felt like I was riding the rides with my friends in high school, not with my son.  (Although I did triple-check his safety restraints, which I know I didn't care about in high school.  And I do wonder when the last time the nuts and bolts holding the structures together were checked to make sure they were still tightened correctly.  And wonder who had the brilliant idea to allow 18-year-olds to operate amusement rides because I know when I was a ride operator in high school, I certainly didn't think about the huge responsibility it was-I was checking out the cute guys and chatting with the powwow around me.  Darn, here come those "grown up" feelings/thoughts. . .)

Twik

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #52 on: January 15, 2015, 03:25:13 PM »
I look in the mirror, and I see a six-year-old looking back.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

greencat

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #53 on: January 15, 2015, 09:17:29 PM »
I had an epiphany about this today when it started raining while I was out and I had an umbrella in my car.  I realized that I feel adult when I am prepared for unexpected situations, because I anticipated that situation on a subconscious level and did something to ready myself for it long in advance.

Esther_bunny

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Re: How "Grown UP" do you feel?
« Reply #54 on: January 16, 2015, 06:09:36 PM »
Right now I feel quite grown up. I just had coffee and cake for dinner....or maybe it was dessert before dinner, I havent decided yet.

Honestly though I feel 10 years younger than I am. We own our house and have zero debt and DH is finally getting off the ground with his company. We act responsible but we both look like college-ish kids.