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  • September 25, 2016, 09:29:17 AM

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Author Topic: Spectacular Klutz Moves I've Made  (Read 3057 times)

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Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: Spectacular Klutz Moves I've Made
« Reply #45 on: September 13, 2016, 03:02:07 PM »
I've broken my foot doing nothing but walking on completely flat ground. No bumps, ridges or dips in sight. ::)

This probably comes from the way I broke it the first time - I was out knocking icicles off the eaves, stepped wrong on a pile of compacted snow and heard the crack through three layers of socks and a very thick boot...
"The wild roses have died, Father, and I know not what to do."


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Re: Spectacular Klutz Moves I've Made
« Reply #46 on: September 13, 2016, 04:24:00 PM »
Oh, the stories I can tell:

In my 20s:
During college, my BF and I were staying at his brother’s apartment during Spring Break.  I went into the bathroom to take a shower, and I placed my clean clothing on the counter.  When I went to put on my jeans, I yanked them off the counter in kind of a sweeping motion, and ended up flinging the Exact-O knife that was on the counter under my jeans blade down straight into my right foot.  (BF’s brother was an artist, so I wasn’t shocked at the presence of the knife, just where it ended up.)  Cue my very controlled vocalizations/requests for my boyfriend to come upstairs and help me get the knife out…which ended up getting louder and louder because he wasn’t moving fast enough, and I was in too much shock to pull it out myself. 

As I was walking out of a supermarket, my left foot slid out and I crashed down, landing squarely on my right knee.  On the concrete ramp leading out the building.  I was waitressing at the time; needless to say, I had to take a couple days off work because my knee swelled up like a balloon.

In my 30s:
My best friend was over for dinner, and I was opening the wine bottle with the type of opener that you twist into the cork and press the arms down to raise the cork.  I didn’t twist down far enough so I was having trouble trying to wiggle the cork out.  Somehow I ended up on a small stepstool trying to get traction to pull it out…and ended up jerking the opener up into the bridge of my nose.  It made a really nice cut and bruise smack dab in the middle of my eyebrows.

In my 40s:
I finally got a mandoline, and the first time I used it I didn’t bother with the guard, a mistake mandoline owners make ONE time.  I tried to hide the evidence (ditched the red-soaked potatoes, hid the bandage wrappers and red-soaked paper towels, tried in vain to keep my right hand out of view, etc.), but DH’s first words to me that evening were, “So, Miss Proud-New-Owner-of-a-Mandoline, why is the bandage tin out?”


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Re: Spectacular Klutz Moves I've Made
« Reply #47 on: September 13, 2016, 07:00:51 PM »
I have a friend that fell UP stairs. She busted the crappola out of her knee and ended up having to have surgery on it.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah

Miss Understood

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Re: Spectacular Klutz Moves I've Made
« Reply #48 on: September 13, 2016, 09:57:22 PM »
I was attempting to open a FedEx box with one of those "pull here" strips in corrugated cardboard.  I pulled and pulled but it wasn't budging.  Then my hand broke free and my right thumb flew directly into my right eye.  I really thought I had injured myself for a few minutes but luckily I was very young at the time and there was no damage done, not even a black eye.  I did get out a scissors though for future FedEx box openings.