For Librarians (and Savvy Patrons): Silliest Reference Questions

[Shoo]

But then again, those of us born and raised don't count misting, drizzling, sprinkling or dropletting as actually raining persay. 

Heck, you don't even need an umbrella for that stuff.

Yesterday I got caught in the actual rain without an umbrella.  I was only mildly annoyed, and mostly surprised that I really needed one.  It's been a long time since I needed an umbrella. 

[Lunadiana75]

But then again, those of us born and raised don't count misting, drizzling, sprinkling or dropletting as actually raining persay. 

Heck, you don't even need an umbrella for that stuff.

Yesterday I got caught in the actual rain without an umbrella.  I was only mildly annoyed, and mostly surprised that I really needed one.  It's been a long time since I needed an umbrella. 

Too true, you can always spot the newbies and tourists because they insist on umbrellas every single time any amountof water falls from the sky

[Alida]

My then college-aged aunt called my mother to ask, "What war was Hitler in?"  She and her friends were apparently arguing over it. 

Or the sweet, but incredibly dense young woman a friend was dating.  He took her to the zoo and she was really trying to figure out just where the buffalo's wings were...

[T'Mar of Vulcan]

He took her to the zoo and she was really trying to figure out just where the buffalo's wings were...

Yeah, about that...

What ARE they? I mean, I know they have nothing to do with buffaloes. I assume they're chicken wings cooked in something spicy or some such? We don't have them here, but every so often someone on TV will order them. They never actually *show* them though.

[Ko-Ko]

I'm not a librarian, but my mom is, and she can tell you plenty of stories. One question she gets is when people bring the stuff they are returning, walk past returns (which has a huge sign in front of it) and say, "Should I take this to returns, or just leave it here?" It drives her crazy!

Ko-Ko
 

[IndianInlaw]

I've had adults ask me for permission to cross the street.

Hey, I'm here to help school children...

I can't stop ya!

[at5115]

While I was working on my MLIS, I worked reference at a large urban college in the Metro-Detroit area.  One of the absolute craziest reference questions actually started as the most innocuous:

"Hey, where can I find this woman?"  The gentleman in front of me was holding out a student ID card with a name and face... neither of which could be even remotely considered his.

While I explained that we couldn't give out that information - even if we had access to it - another patron came up to the desk.  She waited patiently for a few moments, and then turned abruptly towards the first patron, "Hey, that's my ID!  You broke into my car last week and stole it!"  I believe the probability of this occuring was 1 in 3.7 trillion.

While not admitting that he had, indeed, broken into her car while it was parked on campus, he did try to sell her the ID back - right in front of me.  I remember that he also said that he had to feed six children, thus the need for her to buy back her ID. 

I offered to call security - the ID was promptly returned (while the man ran for it).

MA

[Yarnspinner]

While I was working on my MLIS, I worked reference at a large urban college in the Metro-Detroit area.  One of the absolute craziest reference questions actually started as the most innocuous:

"Hey, where can I find this woman?"  The gentleman in front of me was holding out a student ID card with a name and face... neither of which could be even remotely considered his.

While I explained that we couldn't give out that information - even if we had access to it - another patron came up to the desk.  She waited patiently for a few moments, and then turned abruptly towards the first patron, "Hey, that's my ID!  You broke into my car last week and stole it!"  I believe the probability of this occuring was 1 in 3.7 trillion.

While not admitting that he had, indeed, broken into her car while it was parked on campus, he did try to sell her the ID back - right in front of me.  I remember that he also said that he had to feed six children, thus the need for her to buy back her ID. 

I offered to call security - the ID was promptly returned (while the man ran for it).

MA

Oh, wow.  Just...oh....WOW.   I've had people insist their records be wiped clean of overdue fines because they graciously (heavy sarcasm) returned the books six months late and looking like they'd been dragged through a sewer and insisting we should pay them for returning the things...but this is...is...oh...
WOW.  (Can you tell I am looking for something to wrap around my head so I can tied my jaw back up into position?)  Oh, freaking, WOW.

[MerryRaven]

Today a man came up to the checkout desk to ask if he could file his taxes on the public access internet computers. 

I said that as they were public computers and he would be using personal information that was not the best idea.  I told him that there was free help available two times a week on Mondays and Fridays.

He didn't want to wait in line today and he apparently it is an emergency tax return because he had to do it today (isn't there two months left?).

He demanded that I go down and help him do his taxes for him on the public access.  He was upset and called me unhelpful when I told him I absolutely could not do that.  I am not allowed to do that.

And of course I couldn't anyway.  We were short-handed, school was out today so we were busy and I had 15 bins of books to check-in at 11 AM.  Not to mention our new security system that I had to trouble shoot all day.

Maybe I should have told him that I got audited a few years ago after making a dumb mistake on my own tax return.

[Yarnspinner]

But,but, MerryRaven,

We're librarians.  That means we can give free tax advice, free medical advice, free legal advice, write children's term papers for them, act as private detectives and do free story telling on our own time because tax payer dollars support us.

Isn't that what it means to be a librarian???  Or have I got it wrong...I've been at this so long, I don't know anymore.....

[T'Mar of Vulcan]

We're librarians.  That means we can give free tax advice, free medical advice, free legal advice, write children's term papers for them, act as private detectives and do free story telling on our own time because tax payer dollars support us.

No, no, you're confusing that with teachers. We have to know what kids are allergic to without being told, provide them with pens and books (because we're a government school and the government OWES them! I think the government gave us 25 grand last year. It costs a million three to run the school). We must know exactly where they can purchase everything from the fancy pen their child wants to the CD their child MUST use in class (only in the child's mind). We must do their blood tests for them (if diabetic). We must be psychic enough to fathom that they've paid school fees into the bank without putting their name, their child's name or even a grade on the deposit slip. We must be psychologists and deduce why the child can't behave at home. And so on.

And then there's the parent who, in the space for the child's name, wrote "hereby". Yup. That's going to help us identify the child...

[Clara Bow]

We had a reference librarian come talk to our nutrition class about how to use the databases for a paper we have to write and she was telling us that people try to find all their information from the database and the web like five minutes before the library closes...or they call on the phone right at closing to ask the librarians to activate their cards, or look things up or any number of dumb questions. Our reference librarian was also telling us that many students come needing course materials and do not know their professor's name or even the specific name and number of the course....but they can describe what the teacher looks like.

[Harriet Jones]

Yeah, about that...

What ARE they? I mean, I know they have nothing to do with buffaloes. I assume they're chicken wings cooked in something spicy or some such? We don't have them here, but every so often someone on TV will order them. They never actually *show* them though.

They're chicken wings in a hot sauce, depending where you are the hot saice varies in spicyness and specific ingredients. Its kind of a generic term for chicken wings (either baked or fried) in some sort of spicy sauce They're named that because supposedly they were created at a bar in Buffalo, New York.

The hot sauce is usually a cayenne pepper sauce similar to Tabasco, if you've ever had that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_wings

[MerryRaven]

Man came in today with a piece of paper with two words on it "King or Kings World or Worlds".  He wasn't quite sure and it might have been one word or two.  He wanted the phone number for this company that apparently makes motors or something. 

Google those words.  Millions of hits and nothing obvious.  When I tried to get more information (such as where the business might be located) he wasn't sure.  I told him I would need some more information as to the kind of company, or what city (or country) it was in to find any information.  Another dis-satisfied customer.

I had a lady today telling me that we were not as good as her old library back in Colorado.  I wouldn't renew her book as it is popular and there is a request on it.  She couldn't believe that I wouldn't renew.  I explained that there were a lot of people waiting for the book and there would not be a fine if she was a few days over but to keep it in mind that others were waiting.  She didn't see why she should do that.

Then she told me she had ordered a book in October and still didn't have it.  I looked up the title and it will not be published until May 2007.  When I told her so, she said she saw it in a store for $4.00.  I said well I don't know if it is the same book, but it is not released for publication until May. 
I wanted to say "If you saw it for $4.00 buy it and go back to Colorado."

I had a horrible day.  Overwhelmed with returns (three day weekend backlash), and the check-in computer decided to quit.  I had to switch out computers and re-route everything through a different station. 

That is only the tip of the iceberg and then someone said today that they would love to work in a library and read books all day.  This was after I had been crawling around under the counter frantically switching out computers.

[shadowfox79]

Our reference librarian was also telling us that many students come needing course materials and do not know their professor's name or even the specific name and number of the course....but they can describe what the teacher looks like.

Slightly OT, but I work in a university and half the students can't do this either.

What course are you on? Um... Business.

Is that undergrad or postgrad? Um... don't know. What's the difference?

Who's your module leader? Don't know.

Is it a man or a woman? Don't know.

Did you actually attend any of the lectures? Oh, yes! Of course!