ACK! I love the line "I'd like to be a lie-berrian and sit around all day reading books." A woman asked me once how one gets to be a lie-berrian. I started explaining what I did (BA in Literature and American History, MLS and then....) she stopped me when I got to the computer courses I had taken and snapped "If I want to work HARD I'll become a ditch digger."
AND a jolly good day to you, too, entitlement princess.
When we first got the internet, there was a nice, but technologically and information challenged lady that wanted to use the web. I got her started and was poised to do the search for her, but no, she was going to do it HERSELF. Okay, cool. At this time we did not limit people's time using the web (who knew?) and so about a half hour in, I stopped by to ask if she was doing okay.
She wasn't. She needed to find information on Jimmy Carter. She had typed "Presidents" into Web Crawler (does anyone even still USE Web Crawler?) and was slogging through thousands of articles about presidents--from every country on the planet and a few that might have been on Mars.
I suggested she type in "Jimmy Carter" or "James Earl Carter". "The more specific you make the search, the better" I explained. But, no. She wasn't having it. Using "Presidents" would give her a wider variety of options, she said, to choose from. Well, sure, if you HAVE the rest of your life. She was very gentle, but told me in no uncertain terms to leave her alone.
An hour and a half later, she struggles up to my desk in tears. I felt horrible looking at her: her mascara was pouring down her face,her nose was red...it wasn't pretty. "The computer is broken, it won't give me what I want." We went back to the computer (me having a panic attack because I had only started using the net myself and didn't know how to fix it). It wasn't broken. At all. It just couldn't figure out what she wanted. She'd typed in "United States." That's it.
I used my "Reference Interview Style" on her and asked "Ma'am could you be a bit more specific about what you need to know."
Patron (wailing): I want his birth date so I can send him a birthday caaaaaaaaaard!!!!!!!!
As kindly as I could I said "We could have found that a lot faster for you if you had just asked me. Do you need his address as well?"
She: No. I have that. I just need the date.
I did the unforgiveable. I grabbed volume "C" from World Book, flipped it open to Carter and read off the birth date. She just cried harder.
And WHY was she crying harder???
She said "I can't uuuuussssseeeeee that information! It isn't up to date!!!!!"
I guess Jimmy Carter had been born and reborn a few times since the birthdate quoted in the World Book.