Author Topic: Dinner Party costs!!  (Read 2694 times)

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Urbanfairy

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Dinner Party costs!!
« on: February 13, 2007, 09:59:16 AM »
Hi.
This is my first post here, but I have a feeling it won't be my last... especially about this particular 'friend'.
The friend 'A' is the wife of my BF old university housemate - 'P'. P is a lovely bloke, but A just has no idea about social situations.

Last year, she asked 8 people to christmas dinner, to be held a few days before christmas, before everyone went home to their parents etc..
I thought that it would be nice to get together with all our friends, so accepted the invatation, asking if she would like me to provide anything for the party.
'Oh no' she said. 'Just the 5 each to cover the cost of the food'!!!!  ???
I was going to decline, but my BF handed over the money, so I felt I had no choice but to attend... especially as we had 'paid' for it.
Plus, my BF added that wine isn't cheap, and she told us that we didn't need to provide a bottle.

On the day of the dinner, it seems no-one was particularly happy about paying, but felt that they were friends and let the matter blow over, although there were a few comments about 'value for money' when our hosts were out of the room!.
The dinner was nice, although there wasn't enough veg to go round
 BUT, when A asked if I wanted a drink, I accepted, asking what she had.
She said 'I have Red, White, Rose and Sparkling wine. Its all the stuff my parents bought me for our wedding, so it needs to be drunk'!

Not only had all of us paid 5 each (thats 40 altogether), but we were helping here get rid of the left over wine from her wedding that she hadn't even paid for!

It annoys me that she made a profit out of her friends, and if she ever wants money for a dinner party again, I will have to say something.

Vent over  ;D

Lisbeth

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Re: Dinner Party costs!!
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2007, 10:03:13 AM »
What you need to say the next time she issues you an invitation is "No, thank you."

And the next time.  And the time after that until she gets that as the hostess, she is responsible for the costs of her own party and not to use her guests to get rid of food and drink items she doesn't want for herself.
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Evil Duckie

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Re: Dinner Party costs!!
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2007, 10:20:57 AM »
Next time politely tell her, "No thank you" and repeat as necessary.

Unfortunately there is a group that seems to think that entertaining even a dinner party shouldn't cost you anything and that it is fine to charge for it. 

I think that this comes out of college when as broke students often people chipped in on the costs so as to not almost bankrupt one person. But they fail to understand that once you leave college this is no longer acceptable and continue. Since "everyone" is doing this that makes it "right".

FoxPaws

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Re: Dinner Party costs!!
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2007, 03:07:02 PM »
I can understand how a couple Just Starting Out would not be able to bankroll a dinner party for 8.

However, this is why they should say, "We're coordinating a potluck," and not, "Please come to dinner - and bring your purse." 8)
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Urbanfairy

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Re: Dinner Party costs!!
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2007, 06:04:37 PM »
They had been living together for over 5 years before they got married, and as Mummy and Daddy foted most of the bill for the wedding, I'm sure they can afford a dinner party for 8.
But, if you can't afford a dinner party for 8 people.... don't organise one!

Sterling

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Re: Dinner Party costs!!
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2007, 02:48:48 PM »
See if I have people come over for dinner I don't ask them to bring anything, although I do mention to some of our guy friends that I will have wine.  This usually makes it clear that there is no open bar or beer and they can then bring that.  I hate beer and don't know how to buy it.  When I was in college we did the potluck thing and everyother week we still do it with BF's sister and her husband.  She and I arrange to each prepare half the meal and switch off each others houses.  Of course these are elaborate meals not meatloaf and peas.
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Jaywalker

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Re: Dinner Party costs!!
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2007, 12:05:20 PM »
the fact that they got the wine free is irrelevant

but it is grossly rude to collect money for dinner

if they couldn't afford to provide dinner, it would have been fine to organize a potluck as in 'it would be fun to get together before we all go home, why don't we have a potluck -- we'll provide the place and the wine and everyone can bring dishes -- what do you think?'

blue_bunny_paz

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Re: Dinner Party costs!!
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2007, 05:10:55 AM »
I agree that I'd rather bring a dish than money. I like cooking, so I'd quite happily provide a dessert or side. That's just adding to what a host/ess has provided, not removing his/her responsibility to provide anything.

I'd also like to add that it doesn't have to be expensive to host a dinner party. I'm on an extreme budget but if I go to the market for veggies or if my guests wouldn't mind a pasta dish it's possible to make a good meal for not many pennies (though I am a veggie, which could make a difference...) More money doesn't have to mean a nicer dinner.