General Etiquette > Life...in general

Gettin' Dirty!

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Clara Bow:
I'm going to be delicate as possible here....what do you do when your friends begin discussing "private activities of an adult nature"? Now, I think we all have one or two very close girlfriends who we've dished a little dirt with but I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about people you don't know quite that well, but who are still friends, talking about their lovelives. I'm not a prude, just very private, and that kind of thing embarrasses me a bit. I either change the subject, or just make a hasty exit. Is there a better way to handle this? I think I'm the only one it bothers, probably because I'm older than these people and I think that they're a little too young to understand the faux pas.....well, they're not that young, early twenties....

RoseRose:
I would tell them that you're uncomfortable with the conversation.  I tend to be rather open with my love life with my friends, and I'll start out slow, but if you don't TELL me you're uncomfortable, I'm liable to be a bit too detailed for polite company.  You tell me you're uncomfortable, I'll knock it off immediatly.  Of course, I only even START getting detailed with people I consider myself close to... but if they really are your friends, they should stop if they know the conversation makes you ucomfortable.  I can't imagine NOT stopping if I knew I was making someone uncomfortable, and I'd only ever start if I thought the person would be okay with it.  (Which is why my best friend doesn't know much.  She may be an absolute sweetheart, but there's also something... virginal about her.)

But... I'd just tell them it makes you uncomfortable.

Twik:
I believe Miss Manners suggests asking them "I don't understand - what does that have to do with me? Why do you think I need to know this?"

Or, I suppose you could try something like, "Really?? You did that?!? Oh, gosh, wait till I tell the guys at work/school/church group. They LOVE it when I tell them all about the crazy things you and your honey get up to! They think it's hilarious!"

If they object to you passing on private information, explain that they gave you no hint you considered it to be private.

(Edited to add that I REALLY don't recommend option #2.)

Clara Bow:
Like I said, I'm not a prude, I just don't neccessarily want to hear about the sex life of a person I haven't known that long...thanks for the advice...

Slartibartfast:
I have a co-worker who got into one of those too-close-for-comfort discussions with me once, and now thinks I want to know about when her kids found her box of "adult entertainment toys" and what her discussion with them was, and which positions her husband likes the best, and when she forgot to take her pill but then the test came back negative . . . I see this lady maybe once a month, and it certainly is informative, but geez!  I don't need to know!

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