General Etiquette > Family and Children
First Sleepover?? Help with questions to ask...
Cupcake Fiend:
Thing 1 was just invited to a sleepover at a friend from his school's house next weekend.
DH has met the mother while dropping off/picking up Thing 1 from school (preschool). I've never met either parent. I'm of a mind to not let him go. At four, I think he too young to spend the night at a non-family member's house. (The only time I've been away from him overnight is when I was in the hospital with Thing 2 and once he camped for a ngiht at his grandparents house)
Things I need to know before deciding:
Who will be there? I know Thing 1 and one other child from school were invited -- anyone else?
Are there guns or other weapons in the house? Where are they kept? Where is the ammo kept? What kind of security is in place?
What activities are planned?
What do the parents do? Their nursery school has a religious background so I know that at least in a broad sense their beliefs are compatible with ours.
This is hard. The boys don't ask for much, so when they do want something it makes me really want to give it to them. Thing 1 knows about the invite and really wants to go, but I really question his readiness. He has issues with going to sleep most of the time and occasional bedwetting problems so those are a factor too.
Etiquette wise -- how do you give someone the third degree about what they have in their home POLITELY?
freakyfemme:
--- Quote from: Mischief0617 on December 08, 2006, 02:19:47 PM ---Thing 1 was just invited to a sleepover at a friend from his school's house next weekend.
DH has met the mother while dropping off/picking up Thing 1 from school (preschool). I've never met either parent. I'm of a mind to not let him go. At four, I think he too young to spend the night at a non-family member's house. (The only time I've been away from him overnight is when I was in the hospital with Thing 2 and once he camped for a ngiht at his grandparents house)
Things I need to know before deciding:
Who will be there? I know Thing 1 and one other child from school were invited -- anyone else?
Are there guns or other weapons in the house? Where are they kept? Where is the ammo kept? What kind of security is in place?
What activities are planned?
What do the parents do? Their nursery school has a religious background so I know that at least in a broad sense their beliefs are compatible with ours.
This is hard. The boys don't ask for much, so when they do want something it makes me really want to give it to them. Thing 1 knows about the invite and really wants to go, but I really question his readiness. He has issues with going to sleep most of the time and occasional bedwetting problems so those are a factor too.
Etiquette wise -- how do you give someone the third degree about what they have in their home POLITELY?
--- End quote ---
I'd ask about the weapons, MAYBE......as for the religious beliefs, well, it's just for one night, and if Thing 1 says something when he comes home, it could be a teachable moment, in which you could tell him that not everyone believes in the same God, in the same way, or even at all, but everyone's different, and that's okay. You *could* ask about what activities are planned, just in a sort of curious, off-hand kind of way, as if you assume that of *course they have something planned, and if they don't, you could always say, "Well, Thing 1 really loves the Spongebob movie, do you think the other boys will be into that? If so, I'll pack it in his backpack and they can all watch it."; or something to that effect. As for the bedwetting issue.......he's four, it's pretty normal at that age (I think), so you could always just pack some Pull-Ups in his bag, rolled up with his pajamas, with instructions to put them on in the bathroom at bedtime.
artk2002:
--- Quote from: Mischief0617 on December 08, 2006, 02:19:47 PM ---I'm of a mind to not let him go. At four, I think he too young to spend the night at a non-family member's house. etting problems so those are a factor too.
--- End quote ---
Personally, I agree with this sentiment, especially since you don't know the people well. I would try to turn it into a non-sleepover playdate and see how that plays out, with you being there! You do not have enough information about them to make a good decision.
drzim:
My older daughter was not allowed to have a sleepover with a non-family member until she was in kindergarten-- at that point she was used to being away from me for extended periods of time and could easily take care of all toileting/grooming issues by herself. Also, she had had many family sleepovers with my parents and with my MIL.
Even now she has only slept over at 2 friend's houses, and these are both friends where I have known the parents personally for several years (the kids all went to preschool together).
My younger daughter just turned 4 and although she's fine sleeping over at my parents along with her sister there's no way she's ready for a solo sleepover at a friend's house.
When my older daughter went on the overnight I felt assured that if at any time she felt scared or missed me that her friend's parents (who were very familiar to her) would be able to comfort her.
If your son has only been away overnight from you when your second son was born and you don't know the parents I'd recommend against it.
You could just say that you feel that your son is too young for a sleepover and just schedule lots of playdates and get to know the parents better.
Slartibartfast:
--- Quote from: Mischief0617 on December 08, 2006, 02:19:47 PM ---Thing 1 was just invited to a sleepover at a friend from his school's house next weekend.
DH has met the mother while dropping off/picking up Thing 1 from school (preschool). I've never met either parent. I'm of a mind to not let him go. At four, I think he too young to spend the night at a non-family member's house. (The only time I've been away from him overnight is when I was in the hospital with Thing 2 and once he camped for a ngiht at his grandparents house)
Things I need to know before deciding:
Who will be there? I know Thing 1 and one other child from school were invited -- anyone else?
Are there guns or other weapons in the house? Where are they kept? Where is the ammo kept? What kind of security is in place?
What activities are planned?
What do the parents do? Their nursery school has a religious background so I know that at least in a broad sense their beliefs are compatible with ours.
This is hard. The boys don't ask for much, so when they do want something it makes me really want to give it to them. Thing 1 knows about the invite and really wants to go, but I really question his readiness. He has issues with going to sleep most of the time and occasional bedwetting problems so those are a factor too.
Etiquette wise -- how do you give someone the third degree about what they have in their home POLITELY?
--- End quote ---
If you don't think Thing 1 is ready for a sleepover, he probably isn't. More specifically, *you* aren't ready to have his first sleepover be at a stranger's house.
What time does the sleepover start - can you let him play there for a while and come pick him up at his usual bedtime? I'm sure the parents will understand if you say Thing 1 is four years old and really not ready to be away from home overnight yet, but hopefully their child would be able to enjoy playing with him for the pre-sleeping portion.
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