Just playing devil's advocate here, but maybe that woman has already caught wind of what's going on, and doesn't *want* to be helped, just out of pride, so she deliberately mentioned buying luxuries as sort of a hint. A lot of people think that way, I've offered to lend Tanya money before (or even just give it to her outright), when her meal plan ran out, when she didn't have money to go to Cirque du Soleil last year, and other times, but she'd always just tell me, "That's okay, Freaky, it's not your fault that I spent too much money on clothes/jewellry/movies/drinks at the bar, I need to be more careful. I know that if you lent me money, I probably wouldn't be able to pay it back, and I *KNOW* you're okay with that, but I'd feel badly." Now, the thing is, I'm not loaded either, I just don't buy alcohol, or shop excessively, so I can generally make it through the semester without worrying about going without. As for the mailroom woman, well, since nobody has spoken to her directly and offered to help, she may feel she have to fend off well-meaning donors by making it clear that she's either doing fine, or her financial problems are of her own doing. I know it must be hard to see her going without, just like it was hard for me to leave my friend behind when I went to Cirque du Soleil, especially after she'd said she'd wanted to go really badly, but she didn't want to be helped, so there was really nothing I could do about it......and I have a feeling that the mailroom woman doesn't want to be helped either.