General Etiquette > Family and Children

Etiquette of sharing with young children

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freakyfemme:
Hey all,

Last night, one of my friends was singing a half recital (I know, weird time for it, but he was really sick last spring and had to re-schedule it to this semester).  Anyway, as you all know, two of my profs are married (we'll call them Kingpiano and Queensoprano), and they have a little boy (who we'll call, umm....Wonderkid) who was born at the end of April of 2005, so he's about 20 months old now, and he's really outgoing and babbles in toddler-speak to everyone, and reaches for random things......now, on the way to the recital, I'd stopped and picked up some herbal tea from the Starbucks on campus, and when I got there, and we were all waiting for the recital to start/for more people to show up, Wonderkid reached for my tea.  Queensoprano told him not to, but I said it was okay (I wouldn't have minded giving him a taste, Wonderkid isn't a typical toddler by any means, he can already count and play the piano a little bit, so if he ended up liking tea at his age, I wouldn't be surprised, and I figured that if herbal tea was healthy for me, it wouldn't hurt Wonderkid).  But then Queensoprano said that he really shouldn't, because it might be bad for him, because it might have caffeine, might be too hot, etc.  I wasn't trying to poison Wonderkid or harm him in any way, but was this rude?  I know there have been a lot of complaints about parents who let their kids stick their hands in their food, drink their drinks, handle their Limoges china, and lay waste to their homes, and then when they object, the parents just say "Oh, it's okay, he can play with that."  This is kind of the reverse of that......of course, I respected Queensoprano's wishes, but either way, it gave me some insight into all the tiny, minute, seemingly inconsequential decisions that probably go into parenting a child that young. 

guihong:
Nope, not rude.  When Mom said no, that's the end of it, not "Oh, it's OK".   Some herbal teas aren't proven to be healthy for adults, so they wouldn't be the best for a baby.

gui

arkzak:
As a parent of two little ones, I would probably reacted the same way as Queensoprano. Not that I would have assumed any ill intent whatsoever on your part, I think my motivation would have been a combination of the following:
a) it might be too hot
b) it might be bad for the kidlet (subject of course to what it was, I don't personally see herbal tea as one of life's great evils! or
c) I don't want my kid turning into one of those brats who thinks it's ok to sample everyone's food or drink (or, by extension, toys or money!) just because it's within reach.

freakyfemme:

--- Quote from: guihong on December 08, 2006, 04:27:13 PM ---Nope, not rude.  When Mom said no, that's the end of it, not "Oh, it's OK".   Some herbal teas aren't proven to be healthy for adults, so they wouldn't be the best for a baby.

gui

--- End quote ---

No, I meant, was it rude of me?

artk2002:
Not rude of you, and you've gained an important insight! It's fine to tell them that you don't mind (probably a better way of expressing it, BTW), but if they say "no," then no it is.  Even if they're entirely off base, you need to defer to their authority.

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