I was so embarrassed, red-faced and mortified!

[willow08]

I share this story only to make you feel better sparksal.

My sister was sitting in a meeting with her boss/manager, her coworkers and the business' owner- all women. Before the meeting gets started, the women are chatting and as a quiet lull passed in the conversation, business owner said loudly, "So Willowsister, when are you due?"

Sister, who is not tiny, but not heavy-set either, splutters out that she's not pregnant. At this point, the conversation has stopped completely as Sister's co-workers stare in horror at the conversational train wreck that is unfolding.

Owner: Are you sure?
Sister: Um... yeah.
Owner: Oh, well, your b**bs are looking a lot bigger, that's why I said something.
Sister: OK, then.
Owner: And you look like you've put on a couple of pounds, so I naturally assumed-
Sister:
Boss/manager: Why don't we go ahead and start meeting?

Sister didn't get an apology or anything from the business owner. In fact, business owner acted like she had done sister some big favor by telling her she looked fat and top-heavy.  Boss/manager apologized profusely after the owner left. Sister told her to remember this the next time her performance review came up and that she expected extra points for "grace under pressure."

At least you were red-faced and remorseful!

[sparksals]

I share this story only to make you feel better sparksal.

My sister was sitting in a meeting with her boss/manager, her coworkers and the business' owner- all women. Before the meeting gets started, the women are chatting and as a quiet lull passed in the conversation, business owner said loudly, "So Willowsister, when are you due?"

Sister, who is not tiny, but not heavy-set either, splutters out that she's not pregnant. At this point, the conversation has stopped completely as Sister's co-workers stare in horror at the conversational train wreck that is unfolding.

Owner: Are you sure?
Sister: Um... yeah.
Owner: Oh, well, your b**bs are looking a lot bigger, that's why I said something.
Sister: OK, then.
Owner: And you look like you've put on a couple of pounds, so I naturally assumed-
Sister:
Boss/manager: Why don't we go ahead and start meeting?

Sister didn't get an apology or anything from the business owner. In fact, business owner acted like she had done sister some big favor by telling her she looked fat and top-heavy.  Boss/manager apologized profusely after the owner left. Sister told her to remember this the next time her performance review came up and that she expected extra points for "grace under pressure."

At least you were red-faced and remorseful!

Heaven's to Betsy!  My jaw is down in the basement! 

[arete85]

I have a similar- perhaps worse- story.

I am a strict adherent to the e-hell policy on this issue, and once at work I was helping a lady who had a bit of a tummy happening. She eventually mentioned something pertaining to her pregnancy, so I asked when she was due.

She had had the baby earlier that week.

Whoops.

(She was shopping by herself, didn't have any of her children with her. At least I wasn't that dumb!).

[Crafty Pirate]

So has the shock for you worn off?  I have to say that I remember my own "Misspeaks" forever [like I'm hanging on to one from when I was about 8 and then some] but generally forgive the other gal/guy. 

Personally, I'm with the person who said "don't ask unless you see the baby crowning", it's safer.  About 3 months after my son* was born I was wearing a loosely fitting dress at church.  One of the nice, older couples was walking out with me and the gent said "You're not pregnant again?"  I just reacted without thought - "Nope", I said, "Just fat".   He looked sheepish but didn't seem to take it to heart.  Goes to show we can all miss the etiquette mark. 

Best of luck in letting it go and forgiving yourself.

*Note: my son was my 3rd child but it's not like I had 3 in as many years or anything. 

[sparksals]

So has the shock for you worn off?  I have to say that I remember my own "Misspeaks" forever [like I'm hanging on to one from when I was about 8 and then some] but generally forgive the other gal/guy. 

Personally, I'm with the person who said "don't ask unless you see the baby crowning", it's safer.  About 3 months after my son* was born I was wearing a loosely fitting dress at church.  One of the nice, older couples was walking out with me and the gent said "You're not pregnant again?"  I just reacted without thought - "Nope", I said, "Just fat".   He looked sheepish but didn't seem to take it to heart.  Goes to show we can all miss the etiquette mark. 

Best of luck in letting it go and forgiving yourself.

*Note: my son was my 3rd child but it's not like I had 3 in as many years or anything. 

Even all this time later, I still *cringe* when I think of it, but I'm not mortified anymore.  lol

[MineralDiva]

As others have said, we've all done it at one time or another.  And it's because "we" know better, we feel mortified about it for longer than most.  But...this wasn't one of those "interesting assumptions."  You made a legitimate assumption, based on the information you'd been given, and were inadvertently plunged into the "abyss of embarrassment." 

Hey...it happens.  We still love ya!  (And know you'll do the same for us, when it's our turn!)

[sparksals]

As others have said, we've all done it at one time or another.  And it's because "we" know better, we feel mortified about it for longer than most.  But...this wasn't one of those "interesting assumptions."  You made a legitimate assumption, based on the information you'd been given, and were inadvertently plunged into the "abyss of embarrassment." 

Hey...it happens.  We still love ya!  (And know you'll do the same for us, when it's our turn!)

thanks MD.  I love the term "abyss of embarrassment".  It's SO true!

[MineralDiva]

As others have said, we've all done it at one time or another.  And it's because "we" know better, we feel mortified about it for longer than most.  But...this wasn't one of those "interesting assumptions."  You made a legitimate assumption, based on the information you'd been given, and were inadvertently plunged into the "abyss of embarrassment." 

Hey...it happens.  We still love ya!  (And know you'll do the same for us, when it's our turn!)

thanks MD.  I love the term "abyss of embarrassment".  It's SO true!

Isn't it though?  I'll save you a seat, if you'll do the same for me!  lol

[sparksals]

As others have said, we've all done it at one time or another.  And it's because "we" know better, we feel mortified about it for longer than most.  But...this wasn't one of those "interesting assumptions."  You made a legitimate assumption, based on the information you'd been given, and were inadvertently plunged into the "abyss of embarrassment." 

Hey...it happens.  We still love ya!  (And know you'll do the same for us, when it's our turn!)

thanks MD.  I love the term "abyss of embarrassment".  It's SO true!

Isn't it though?  I'll save you a seat, if you'll do the same for me!  lol

But of course!

[housewife2k]

I did it. I asked someone when they were due, and they weren't pregnant, and it aws one of fabulous neighbors adult children!!1
Female Fab Neighbor has 4 adult children, three girls and a boy. Two of the three girls are pregnant, ad due on the same day. Female adult neighbor mentioned having three grandkids arriving soon two this june, and one in the late fall.
The two daughters who are due in June are obvoiusly pregnant. Her other adult daughter, well...She could be pregnant and due in late fall or early winter, or she could just have the mommy pooch you get after having 4 kids in 9 years...guess which one it was?
Yeah, MaleGoodneighbor's daughter is the other one expecting- the one who I haven't met yet.

So, I see the three girls that belong to female, ask when they are all due, and get told, in order "June!" "June!" "Almost three years ago!"

She laughed, said it was OK over and over again, explained that she was wearing a dress that was too snug, etc.. Goodneighbors though it was funny, and told me not to worry. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die!

[bionelly]

A local radio station was talking about this on Friday.  One guy made the comment that he knows that unless the person specifically tells you she's pregnant, "you don't make any comment unless you see the baby crowning..."  But we've all said stuff that we feel the immediate "Holy Moly, what have I just said?!?" - it's human...

But also, if somebody does tell you she's pregnant, don't let it be known that you'd just thought she was getting fat.  I had somebody say that to me when I was almost due.  I wasn't very pleased.