Drive-by Smoochings

[EtiClerk]

Hi, my name is EtiClerk, and I accidentally inappropriately make out with strangers in public. 

A few weeks ago a group of professionals from my home town was visiting the city I currently live in.  I made arrangements to meet up with two of them for dinner.  One of them (Pam) is the wife of someone with whom I used to work.  We have met several times, she is nice, our families are friendly.  The other (Fabio) is an attractive (I believe single?) man my age who shares my profession.  I have met him a few times but no more than a few moments of chatting and one shared lunch on break at an event we were both attending.

I decided to stop by one of the group functions to hook up with them (no pun intended, you'll understand in a minute) and make plans for dinner.  I dropped by just as they were finishing and scanned the room.   I tend to get flustered in crowds, especially with new people.  I spotted Fabio right away and continued looking for Pam as I made my way through the crowd.  When I got to him, still distracted looking for her, I KISSED him hello.   Yes folks.  I clutched him in a warm embrace, and planted one on him.  My friends and family are very demonstrative and I come from a tradition where you kiss for a how-do.  BUT, Fabio and I are not at this level of acquaintance and a handshake really would have done the trick. 

I wish I could say this was the first time this had happened to me, but I have done it before.  This time was only slightly less humiliating than the time I greeted the keynote speaker at a conference the same way.  I had been greeting friends and old acquaintances and when I turned to greet him (a man I had never met) I was on autopilot and just, yep, you know.   

In this last instance, I figured I would redeem myself by greeting Pam equally warmly, but she greeted me as she passed at a distance and by the time we got close enough to talk, it was too late for a hello smooch as we had already greeted each other and several minutes had passed. 

At this point I am going to assume Fabio thinks I have the hots for him.  Either that or he thinks I have an untreated affection disorder.  I'm not too concerned about it, as I tend to humiliate myself in public with cheerful regularity, and this will blow over but my question is, dear ehellions, what would you have done to recover gracefully in this situation?

[Morty'sCleaningLady]

Maybe you made his day? (Well, you made mine!)

[KrisB]

I am so glad I'm not the only one who has done this!  I get stuck on auto-pilot sometimes too when greeting people.  I smooched the chief judge at a bar association meeting I went to with my husband. Good thing the guy has a sense of humor.

[POF]

Dh and I are at an art festival and it started to pour and my glasses were steaming up. Since I had a sitter for the day - I linked up arms with Dh and asked him if he wanted to go get a room and use our kid free time more wisely 

It wasn't DH. It was some other guy ..... he said sure as long as your husband doesn't mind.....

[lohrewok]

   This one struck my funny bone because I did the same thing one time (about 20 years ago).  I am normally a very introverted, hands off type person.  But when I was moving out of my apartment, my landlady came by and we started talking about a very emotional subject near and dear to us both.  At the end of the conversation I gave her a hug and kiss...where did THAT come from?  who knows?  It was very strange.

[Sabbyfrog2]

I don't know what you could have done... but you did make me smile!

[LB]

FIL will hug me and give me a kiss on the cheek when he leaves, and I've become accustomed to it. SFIL and MIL though, are usually fine with just a wave. 
One day as DH and I were leaving MIL and SFIL, I hugged them each and gave them a kiss on the cheek. I realized what I had done when I heard SFIL chuckle and say to MIL "She kissed me..." as they were heading into the house.

[MissyMa'am]

I think we've all done this on some level, like ending the wrong phone call with "I love you".  I would probably recover by pulling back, laughing slightly with my hand over my chest (in shock), and apologizing profusely:  "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!  I'm so used to kissing my children/parents/cousins hello that I forgot what I was doing!  I hope I haven't embarrassed you."

No, not particularly graceful, but I think you have to let the person know it was an accident and what your true intentions are.  After that, don't say another word about it, to avoid further embarrassment for both of you.

[kingsrings]

I hope you don’t mind that I am LOL!! You have given me my laugh for the day, and I thank you for that.

This reminds me of accidentally saying ‘I love you’ to someone you didn’t intend to say that to, or doing the same thing with accidentally calling someone, “honey”. I can’t remember committing any of these faux pas yet in my life. The closest I can remember is that one time I was in public and almost slapped the butt of a guy because I thought he was my BF, but fortunately, my hand was only in mid-air before I realized it wasn’t him.

[Veronica]

Dh's Dad does cheek kissing when meeting people or saying goodbye.  I am always a little at a loss for what to do, but I'm not as bad as my mom.  When they met for the first time she somehow ended up kissing him on the mouth.  She says it was an accident..... 

[hjaye]

I think I've posted this before, but it's been a while.

When my first wife and I had started going out, she worked nights and I would normally go pick her up from her job.  I drove a white Datsun B210 hatchback.  I was late one night so she started to walk home (about two miles).  A car drove up and pulled over to the side of the road.  It was a white hatchback so she assumed it was me.  She ran up, opened the door, hopped in the car and then leaned over to give me a kiss.  Of course it was not me, it was just some stranger who had pulled over to see if she needed a ride.

She was shocked (probably no more than the guy) but the guy gave her a ride home

[Dragonflymom]

Don't feel bad - my husband ended a call to a potential employer with "I love you" last fall, after he'd gotten in the habit of ending every call with me like that.

I think that sort of thing happens to everybody.

[Cupcake Fiend]

I was out one day at the food court of a mall, when I glanced over saw my friend's DH in line.  I was about halfway over to him (intending to put my hands over his eyes and say guess who -- we can kid like that) when I realized that no, no it wasn't my friend's DH...just a guy who looked a LOT like him.  Amazingly like him.  Luckily there were still about 10 feet between me and total embarrassment.

I have most definitely done the "I love you" thing when on the phone, and once leaned over to a friend for a kiss when she was dropping me off somewhere.

[Tnova317]

Eticlerk -my friend Alan wants to know where you hang out and says he is the tall one in the red shirt and dark hair. He has never had a drive by smooch and would love to try it.

[Virg]

I have a doozy for this thread, and was saved from huge trouble only due to blind Providence.

I was with my then girlfriend at some festival and since we hadn't been "physical" for very long (just moved beyond kissing) we would sometimes do the secret grab or pinch that all near-teens get yelled at for.  So, I was sitting on a bench while she looked at some stuff, and watching the crowd.  I turned to see her nearby, bending over to pick up a pot, and feeling mischievious (and being shielded from general view by our location) I PUT.MY.HAND.UP.HER.SKIRT and goosed her.

Um.

The person who came around on me was not her, and what's worse, I still had a "handful" of her when my girlfriend rounded the corner.  The Providence is that they could have passed for sisters and they were both wearing a denim skirt.  Ms. Anonymous Grope Victim noticed this and with a good natured chide told me to be more careful in the future.  I was mortified and I apologized profusely, and I bore my well-deserved ribbing for weeks.  I am SO glad she had a sense of humor about the whole thing.

Virg